It's a hard life being a Mum..... - Page 2

accymel · 04-10-2005, 10:06

The nursery & childcare provision is scandalous & i thought returning to work when my kids were at school would be easier & nope its worse & dependant on schools where your child goes in order to be safely picked up. A friend of mine had to even pay childminders fees despite the minder being on her holiday!!!!! in order to keep his placement & find someone else to have his daughter for a fortnight! So it was double money payout for him on wftc absolutely rediculous. Even if the child is ill or cant be minded they still get charged & yet some minders & care facilities are not upto scratch nor training as one documentory last year claimed.

Debbie J · 04-10-2005, 10:59

When I had a childminder I too had to pay half her fees if she went on holiday or my child was ill. I also had to stay at home to look after my little'un which meant I lost wages. My son went to nursery at the age of 3 and he too cried when it was time to go home! But starting school wasn't a problem as he had a good idea of what was expected of him.

lettie · 04-10-2005, 12:05

I wouldn't set too much store on what these surveys have to say. Any valid researcher will tell you that surveys are the most unreliable form of research.

How many of you have received a survey through the post and

a) not filled it in,

b) lied,

c) written something perverse....

I rest my case......

accymel · 04-10-2005, 12:13

pmsl Lettie .......perverse?? really???? oo will have to remember that when im bored lol

accymel · 04-10-2005, 12:16

The thing is with these surveys is that it isn't an acuurate nor fair assessment from a cross section of society, i know a lot of peed off fathers cos they weren't even listed to be beneficial to their kids it feel to them as they dont count

Romps · 04-10-2005, 12:22

Have to agree with Lettie, if we listened to the latest advice or survey results we'd all be quivering wrecks when we leff out children, or we'd have guilty consciences for not having a job and paying into the system. At the end of the day you have to do whats right for you as a family, and you as an individual, you should do what fits in with your lives and what makes you happy......and on that note Emily is screaming her bonce off ......................

accymel · 04-10-2005, 12:27

Its just some jumped up bizzy body having to justify their wages

Margaret Pilkington · 04-10-2005, 15:08

I think you are right Lettie and Romps.....but there are women out there who already feel guilty about leaving their children....be it with a childminder, family or nursery. These surveys pile on the guilt.....and remember some women DO believe what these surveys say.

Personally, I think mothers are the best ones to judge whether their child is happy in whatever care environment has been chosen, and surely if a mother thought that the care arrangements were detrimental to her baby wouldn't she find an alternative or give up her job...?

I sometimes think these surveys are done just for the sake of spending government money.......and I think that the government would be better advised to either ensure that there were enough effective child care places.....or failing that pay mothers to stay at home and look after children themselves.

On another note, I do think mothers that go out to work are more stimulated and from that point are more rounded people.

accymel · 04-10-2005, 15:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

I think that the government would be better advised to either ensure that there were enough effective child care places.....or failing that pay mothers to stay at home and look after children themselves.

Yeh i agree & something me mother used to always say

pendy · 04-10-2005, 17:33

Having been a divorced mum, I had no choice but to work, because my first ex was a total cheapskate (when he was earning £25,000 a year he VOLUNTARILY put up the maintenance for his only daughter to £30 a week!! - I never took a penny for myself).

Mothers are always going to be made to feel guilty - it goes with the territory. Both my children went to nursery, and both are happy and well-adjusted adults with families of their own.

I think what matters most is spending quality time with your child - it's no good being a stay home mum if you just dump them in front of the tellie most of the day, and don't give them any attention. The first half-hour after getting home was always the children's time, sometimes longer, for them to talk about their day and just generally be with mum and dad.

Has anyone checked on these daft surveys what sort of home environment there is? - I should reckon not.

Margaret Pilkington · 04-10-2005, 18:52

Pendy, it is like I said.....each child is an individual and as you rightly point out each family may have different circumstances which would affect the study. It seems that it is always 'open season' for shooting Mums down. Some nurseries may not be the best either.....and I know that they are regulated by Ofsted, but they are notified of the visits....or that is what I have been told.

vorlon24 · 04-10-2005, 18:56

I wish my mother had sent me to nursery - I feel that I have suffered as a result of not mixing with my peer group from an early age. All my reports (without exception) said that I didn't make friends easily and was a loner, etc.

Or maybe I've always been a miserable git!!!

Margaret Pilkington · 04-10-2005, 19:00

Did your Mum stay at home and look after you then vorlon....?

accymel · 04-10-2005, 19:30

Mmmmm i had same problems vorlon but in opposite way i was very scared of other children & nursery actually kicked out of 3 nurseries

oopppsss i was a bad un my mum had to quit work then & its my fault she stayed at home luckily im not scared of people now well except for scary ones pmsl

grego · 04-10-2005, 20:20

I think as long as your happy that your children are happy then you should take no notice of these surveys. I think Margaret right in saying the Government have nothing better to spend their money on.