It's a hard life being a Mum.....

Margaret Pilkington · 03-10-2005, 19:40

A few weeks ago the government produced the results of a survey that encouraged mums to put their child into Nursery Education.....they reported that children in Nursery Education were better at social skills. Another survey published today gives the opposite view, and suggests that sending toddlers to nursery is not such a good idea. Now they are saying that a child benefits from the one-to-one attention from Mum.

The survey was conducted over 3 years and looked at 1000 children.

How confusing it must be for Mums to get conflicting information within such a short space of time.

Surely all children are different......some must relish going to school, while others may initially not be keen. Aren't children little individuals.....?

accymel · 03-10-2005, 19:45

I saw that on the news when the going gets tough pick on the mums last time it was stay at home mums now its working mums!!!

grego · 03-10-2005, 19:51

I agree with you Margaret, it is confusing, most Mums dont have a choice but to go back to work, and the decision of which nursery/childminder is the correct one is difficult because you want the best for your child. Ellie goes to full time nursery, she has definately not suffered, she's bright and confident and loves going. The Government are always coming up with something, I dont think they know what the're talking about half the time.

accymel · 03-10-2005, 19:54

the only reason i cant work is that there is no childcare facilities for my kids & thats what the gov was telling us that promise & making me feel guilty for not working & yet not my fault - then all of a sudden opposite, one ponders why?

Margaret Pilkington · 03-10-2005, 19:58

I'm sure they don't Grego. In fact when the results of one of these surveys come out, the cynical part of me starts looking for their ulterior motive. Like when they were saying Nursery Education was good for children, it was because they wanted Mums to go back to work. If they think Mums should stay at home because it is best for the children, then they should pay Mums to do this......personally I think most children benefit from Nursery Education.....they gain in confidence, social skills and learn through play. It is a shame that it costs so much to send children to Nursery.

grego · 03-10-2005, 20:04

Ellie's 3 now Margaret so she gets vouchers which knock £31 per week off the bill which helps. It is extortion though, our nursery has just put their prices up again!

accymel · 03-10-2005, 20:08

This thread is talked about all over especially from single parent groups & quite a few upset single dads cos they feel as much mum but not recognised & valid as mothers & trust me there is a steadily increasing trend of single fatherhood & mothers walking out on their kids

Margaret Pilkington · 03-10-2005, 20:11

It is still daylight robbery......I know my daughter looked at putting her toddler in the nursery while she is at college, but she just can't afford to do it......so I look after both of her little ones......family members looking after children also come in for some stick from this latest survey......but if children can't go to nursey, for whatever reason, then surely children will get loving, safe care from family members. Yet my daughter cannot claim anything against this kind of child care....well, no Mum can.......and there is a dire shortage of childminders.

accymel · 03-10-2005, 20:18

Guess who is being targeted for increasing that Margaret, single parents like me who cant get out of the house much for adult company & suddenly rather than make work accessible & a choice of working environments & theres minding the one & only job open to me & to be honest i have enough being stuck with my 2 nevermind more & its isolating !!

Very unfair position for some people to be pigeon holed to that because of their circumstances & didnt get a choice in.

Margaret Pilkington · 03-10-2005, 20:23

It would be good if all the under fives got vouchers for time in Nursery Education. Looking after children IS very isolating......and Mums who stay at home and have a gap in their CV are often at a disadvantage when they CAN return to the work situation......not to mention the fact that being with children all day saps your confidence to do anything that needs any brain power.....you start to doubt your own ability.

accymel · 03-10-2005, 20:26

Yeh i know that one Margaret sadly the downside of it but suppose kids come 1st whether working or not.

SPUGGIE J · 03-10-2005, 21:11

My daughter and neice benifited from going to nursery but as has been pointed out it is not for all. It suits married mums as well as singles as they can work part time and keep the CV gap.

WillowTheWhisp · 03-10-2005, 22:06

I saw the article in the paper today too and I find it very difficult to believe that children who are looked after by grandparents are considered to be at a disadvantage. I would have thought a close family member is the next best thing to Mum.

My girls both went to nursery for half days at the age of 3, not because I wanted them out of the way but because I felt that it did them a lot of good in preparing them for school. They got used to the idea of going somewhere that was just for them and so starting school didn't worry them at all. I've seen some children in reception class bawl their eyes out for days on end.

Mind you, they had a sort of introduction to nursery too because at 18 months old they joined the Primary Department at our church and ent to their own "class" while we went to the adult classes so they didn't fret when they went to nursery either.

For every expert who'll tell you one thing is best ther'll be another one telling you the exact opposit.

harwood red · 03-10-2005, 22:48

I was in the fortunate position of staying at home with my two boys until they had done a year at primary school before returning to full time work. But I did suffer from the CV gap!! thats another story though...

Mine also went to nursery from 3 years old and although I was a full time mum (worked weekends when their dad was off) I encouraged their independance and own minds.. to the extent of when they started at nursery .... other kids were screaming for their mums and my two were happy as larry! (who is larry by the way?)

In fact my eldest (ok I'm gonna admit this) cried when I picked him up!!!! It took me ages to convince him that he would be going back, he loved it that much!! I felt crap though

lettie · 04-10-2005, 07:13

Parents are damned if they do and damned if they don't. Most nursery places actually cost anything from £80 -£150 per week..... Yes, per week!!!! If you are not entitled to a free nursery place then you'd better have a good job in order to get your child into a nursery, because £400 per month is more than a lot of mortgages...

My mum stayed home with us and I started school at the age of 4. We all had good social skills, we played out with other children and could all read and write by the time we started school..