Lawyers

[Retlaw]

Lawyers.
The Salvation Army realized that it had never received a donation from the
city's most successful lawyer.

So a Salvation Army volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office.

The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, "Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million pounds you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your
community through the Salvation Army?"

The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, "First, did your research also show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and she has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?
" Embarrassed, the Salvation Army rep mumbles, "Uh... No, I didn't know that."

"Secondly," says the lawyer, "did it show that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children?"

The stricken Salvation Army rep begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off again.

"Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister's husband died in dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three children, one of whom is disabled and another that has learning
disabilities requiring an array of private tutors?"

The humiliated Salvation Army rep, completely beaten, says, "I'm so sorry,
I had no idea."

And the lawyer says, "So . . . If I didn't give any money to them, what makes you think I'd give any to you?"


Retlaw.

[flashy]

thats baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad retlaw, real bad lol

[cashman]

but probably true,

[Eric]

Over here, because of the animal rights lobby, they are now using lawyers rather than rats in lab experiments. This has other advantages: there are more lawyers around than rats; you can get lawyers to do things that a rat wouldn't do; and the lab technicians don't get attached to them.

[Eric]

Nice one to start off Retlaw ... sent that one to my daughter. She's a lawyer and she appreciates good lawyer jokes

[derekgas]

Exellent Retlaw, I know a guy who, in real life, spent years ripping people off by knocking on doors and asking for roofwork, he pulled chimneys over and all manner of things to charge the earth for not even doing the work correctly, to cut a long tale short, Pedro, as I called him, has a disabled sister, she can do nothing for herself, thier mother had a decent lottery win, and died but weeks later, leaving the money, and the noce bungalow she owned before the win, to the son, with the proviso that he looked after his sister, as soon as the money cleared the bank, he put his sister in a home, and rarely visits! So people like this do exist, still a funny joke though!

[jaysay]

Originally Posted by cashman

but probably true,

Oh come on cashy, Probably, its a bloody racer

[SPUGGIE J]

That is a cracking one Retlaw.