Local Lasses and forced marriges

[steeljack]

the other thread about the young girl being raped at the scout camp got me to wondering about young British girls of Asian descent who 'disappear' only to reappear a couple of years later with a child and husband , A few years back one of the young lasses in my parents street went 'missing' she used to run errands and such for the pensioners , when my Mother asked her parents why she hadn't seen her about for awhile she was told she had gone to visit family overseas, It became kind of accepted that young girls would eventually "go to visit family overseas' and it was just the way 'they' did things , I don't believe I ever heard anyone condem or say it was wrong , dont think any of them managed to finish secondary school it was just 'summat' that 'they' did . Not sure if the practise still goes on and how it could be stopped , if a 13/14 year old girl drops out from school is any follow up done as to her whereabouts ? or is it just accepted as 'summat' that happens ?
just curious

[Ber999T]

Am sure that somewhere within the EU there is a law that allows the girls the right to refuse to have "visits to family".

Think there is a growing movement in UK for this to be stopped, am sure there was a proggramme about it not long ago.

[WillowTheWhisp]

I don't know personally of any such disappearances. I know that arranged marriages are common but thankfully I think that forced marriages are more of a rarity. Amongst people I know when marriages are arranged they are done with the best interests of the bride and groom at heart.

[Ianto.W.]

This looks like one for 'spinner' I do not know enough about the subject to pass an opinion but I would like to see it debated, by those that do.

[mani]

sometimes they do genuinely go stay with relatives for a few yrs in pakistan. i know it sounds sexist but the parents feel it will help the girl be more domesticated.

though i'm sure the school does follow up if they stop attending though i think they just want to see evidence she has gone abroad and not sittin at home. what happens abroad they're not interested in.

but there was the recent case of the uk born bengali girl who was due to be married off but her aunt tipped the govt off about this and they swooped in and bought her to the uk.

though this is happenin less and less now as at one time it was thought the asian lads from "back home" would be decent hard working guys this is increasing proving to be a misconception and dont even ask about hte girls there!

[jimmi5bellies]

I think its wrong that they are sent overseas to be married off. Its just one big scam to fetch more immigrants back to this country.This is not meant to be any racist comment by the way. Its the way that its done and how its done that really annoys me.

If their family want to insist on an arranged marriage etc, then it should be done with a family allready in England and established.

[MargaretR]

Hopefully the practice will die out in a few more generations.
(I was useless at choosing my own husbandS, but still prefer to have the choice - now choose NONE! )

[spinner]

Originally Posted by [email protected]

Hopefully the practice will die out in a few more generations.
(I was useless at choosing my own husbandS, but still prefer to have the choice - now choose NONE! )

i would have expected the practice to have died out by now and mostly it has. the reason its probably continuing is because the 'mangies' lads from abroad look more westernised due to influence of sattelite tv so some girls do get married to them. also some people end up improving their lot by marrying someone who normally wouldnt look twice at them ie the russian bride syndrome. ive seen a lot of asian men who have married lovely well educated girls from pakistan and they do look awful togeather. the worst was when a really unattractive young man (5ft 2) who was rejected as a suitor by his cousin ( also from accy) ended up marrying a beautiful tall girl from pakistan she looked like a film star. she was forced to marry him and when she came to the uk she couldnt handle being with him and his family and was returned to Pakistan. awfully she ended up having the horrid lads baby it was such a shame. i cant believe immigration didnt question if this was a forced marriage or not.

[mani]

*LMAO* @ mangie

spinner - yeah the authorities in pak rarely question anything like that - in the uk they just ask for wedding pics - it shud b more than just that it shud b that u require proof of courtship a certain time period b4 the application is made etc that way u know if its lasted that long its not for a quick visa thing.

the prob is that when guys from here go over the poor families see the chance to escape that poverty by allowing thier young daughter to marry a uk resident in the hope that in the future she will take care of them too

one of the main reasons ppl are goin back from marryin their daughters from pak/india etc is the rise in the cases where the guy after a few months leaves his missus once he's in hte uk and got his contacts sorted.

[spinner]

Originally Posted by mani

*LMAO* @ mangie

one of the main reasons ppl are goin back from marryin their daughters from pak/india etc is the rise in the cases where the guy after a few months leaves his missus once he's in hte uk and got his contacts sorted.

mani half the time it you wonder why the parents are surprised when their soninlaw from pakistan does a runner. half the time( altough not in all cases) the girls and lads from Brit marry way above their station in terms of looks brains, etc youd have to be a bloody fool not to expect it to happen . coupled with the devious ways of the mangies its a formula for disaster. basically their from different backgrounds and it makes it less likely to work
theres no fool like a stupid fool

[mani]

its rarely looks to b honest. looks do come into it but not as much as in a western marriage.

its the whole differnt back grounds. hte guys think the girl here was prob a slag etc and hence wanted to b married off in pak. once here they think rite time to do one and onec i'm settled here i'll get married to someoen of my choice - only thing is rarely do they ever make it

alot of london off-licenses are full of guys who've done that but end up workin 15 hr shifts for pittance 7 days a week. serves them right.

[garinda]

Arranged marriages, were the couple are from totally different, cultural backgrounds, never work.

As can be seen in the film East is East, when the Mancunian father tried to marry his sons off to a couple of Yorkshire lasses.

[Eric]

I don't see anything wrong with cultural differences ... considering the present divorce rates, an arranged marriage would probably work out just as well as any other. Many countries, England was one when I was growing up (I didn't do well at growing up) had a form of forced marriage. Many of us can remember the time when knocking a girl up was equivalent to a proposal. I do believe that among immigrants, a cultural change, or homogenization, will slowly take place.

[WillowTheWhisp]

A Lancashire lass being forced to marry a Yorkshireman?

[jimmi5bellies]

East is East, great film.
Lent it to my dad who reluctantly put it one one night to watch as he was so bored. My mother told me the next day that he couldnt stop falling off his chair for laughing.