Married couples arn't necessarily the best parents

accymel · 27-02-2007, 11:18

Parenting strategy to be launched:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/6398869.stm

Been saying that all along

lancsdave · 27-02-2007, 11:55

Well I never, an achievement I never thought I would see in my lifetime.... a politician talking sense

Margaret Pilkington · 27-02-2007, 14:57

Parenting isn't an exact science...children do not arrive with a 'user manual'...and as we have said in other threads...you can do your level best for your children and they can still go off the rails. I think that politicians should butt out of child rearing and leave that to parents. It is time for politicians to stop using laws to criminalise and demonise parents.

WillowTheWhisp · 27-02-2007, 14:59

I heard that on the news this morning and thought it's about time too that politicians realised that people are people and don't slot into pigeonholes.

lettie · 27-02-2007, 17:07

Families come in all shapes and sizes. I don't believe that you have to be married to raise kids properly but I do believe that you have to be a stable family unit. This can be step- parents, adoptive parents, unmarried parents, gay parents.. I do believe that having more than one parent being involved in a child's upbringing is of benefit, but if the mother or father does not want involvement then the importance of grandparents plays a part.

All too often the grandparents are left without contact with their grandchildren when a couple separates... TV shows like Jeremy Kyle, Ophra etc are filled with fighting couples using their kids as weapons.. Behind these fighting couples are usually their parents who are desperate to see their grandchildren... This is so wrong.. My nan played a huge role in our upbringing, even though my mum and dad divorced, we were still a family unit and a very close one at that.

I don't believe that parents have to be married, but they do need to be supportive of their children, whatever their living arrangements may be..

SPUGGIE J · 27-02-2007, 17:15

All a child needs is loving parents. No manual or schooling is going to help. Bringing up kids is a life time of learning as you will always learn something new.

accymel · 27-02-2007, 17:22

As i said before not its not always that easy & unfortuantly my kids have ONE parent cos thats the way it is, i dont get a lot of support except thro friends mainly i cope alone, it upsets me the fact that i do my damnedness & yet lone parents are not regonised for their job they do as best they can. Its nice to have a politician that regonises there are different family set ups good & bad in all as thats rightfully where it is yet single parents were blamed & judgements made about themselves as parents as i know a lot of them that are brill yet theres some that are poor as with other family units!!

The problem that many marriages fail is because of that very beleif & pressure that married ones are better, yet the stark reality is not neccessarily so, family itself have changed, grandparents dont always want the active part of grandparenting, or live far away etc, leaving the strain of parenting to either partnerships or single parenting, not everyone is lucky to have that support or have a that network around them. Its about time the gov woke upto the fact the neuclear type family has changed & now it involves all kinds of differnet family units that are reconised & supported, then maybe children will have a better future regardless, but is someway to go.

Tbh i cant see why a legal piece of paper called marriage certificate is important than loving parent[s] whether they have that or not???

lettie · 27-02-2007, 17:31

Quote:

Originally Posted by accymel

family itself have changed, grandparents dont always want the active part of grandparenting, or live far away etc, leaving the strain of parenting to either partnerships or single parenting, not everyone is lucky to have that support or have a that network around them. Its about time the gov woke upto the fact the neuclear type family has changed & now it involves all kinds of differnet family units that are reconised & supported, then maybe children will have a better future regardless, but is someway to go.

You have hit the nail on the head here... When we were kids, there were very few families who didn't live in the same community as their extended family. As times moved on and jobs got scarcer people had to separate in order to find work, sometimes in different towns, sometimes in different countries. The extended family were always a support system that struggling parents could turn to but it seems that there are far fewer families with that support network in place these days. Many of the women who I've looked after have no family here to help them. Their other half is out working all day and their parents, siblings, aunts etc may all live miles away. Where is the support??

The government may want to put some sort of support system in place but even by chucking billions at the problem with Surestart, free nursery places etc, this can in no way replace the family network, cannot cater for everyone and is limited by financial constraints.