Missing child in Portugal - Madeleine McCann

[Neil]

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

....the mother and father will never let them out of their sight again.

Barn door and horse springs to mind.

Originally Posted by Tinkerbelle

Everyone will have their own opinion on this situation and of course they are entitled to them ..... but some comments in this thread have only just stopped short of the mark of saying this family deserved what happened to them because of a moments misjudgement. That, I'm afraid, makes me very angry.

In no way do I think they deserved it.
Is it their own fault? Yes of course it is.
I hope the child is found save and well and the full force of the local law is used against the parents.

[Tinkerbelle]

But for the grace of God springs to my mind

[accymel]

Grace of god indeed 1st & foremost!

But i seriously think everyone as human beings nature is jumped upon this thread without the real facts or knowledge neither one right or wrong for their opinion at this level, think at this stage 'very worrying' springs to mind, hearts & minds & all that. For once im remaining on the fence retaining judgement till facts shed light because i seriously think there is a lot more to this than meets the eye & rather not speculate till its more that case, my instincts are ringing bells with this case which are rarely wrong but the sketchey police approach i think they definately do suspect or know a lot more than being released for obvious reasons.

I can see all your points

Yes the parents were irresponsible or lax in thought to leaving under 5's certainly alone in the apartment without supervision, they are a professional family so had no real excuses like not affording the childcare service & they had other adult party members with them, but even still anything could of happened other than this - like sleep walking, child playing with things in the room they shouldnt etc because of no real supervision - kids are curious by nature.

Yes - nobody is perfect, parenting doesn't come with a handbook & parents are not above mistakes regardless, u have to make the mistake in order to learn from them but as with life it has consequences!

Yes - times are more unsafer now than they used to be.

Yes - people are a more niave on holiday than maybe at home, tho holidays are meant for relaxation & that can cloud judgements made.

You cant judge till facts are more known, we weren't there so its all speculation but also that people can express their own opinion to these events - doesn't make either one or the other the right opinion.

& yes hindsight is a wonderful thing but that only happens once you experience it

[WillowTheWhisp]

When the police say they have compiled a profile they don't mean they've done an identikit picture - they mean they have put together ideas of the type of person they are looking for. If you've watched Cracker you'll know what I mean. "What type of person usually does this kind of thing?" they ask themselves and then they make a list like "single/married, male/female, adult/youth, age range" that kind of thing.

Maybe the parents had been told by staff at the complex that it was perfectly safe to leave their children asleep in the apartment whilst they went for their meal.

[Neil]

Originally Posted by accymel

Yes - people are a more niave on holiday than maybe at home, tho holidays are meant for relaxation & that can cloud judgements made.

Whenever we are away in a foreign country we try to be even more vigilant. You don't know the place after all. The UK is a very safe place to live compared to many other places.

[claire190]

my heart goes out to this family and i hope to god she is returned safe and well but god what were them parents thinking??? Them children were 2 and 3, left alone while they were out dining, they were checked on every half an hour but what if they woke up screaming they wouldnt have heard them, they couldnt even see the front door, as if that matters anyway as the child was took out the back! to make matters worse they have said that they felt they were being watched days before the child was kidnapped which would make me even more protective as a mother. Some people dont think what they did was wrong but i do, it is illegal to leave a child alone under 12, if you lived near a pub would you go out for a drink because you can check on them?? No you wouldnt do it, but because your on holiday them standards go out the window, why?? I pray for them.

[Less]

Originally Posted by claire190

my heart goes out to this family and i hope to god she is returned safe and well but god what were them parents thinking??? Them children were 2 and 3, left alone while they were out dining, they were checked on every half an hour but what if they woke up screaming they wouldnt have heard them, they couldnt even see the front door, as if that matters anyway as the child was took out the back! to make matters worse they have said that they felt they were being watched days before the child was kidnapped which would make me even more protective as a mother. Some people dont think what they did was wrong but i do, it is illegal to leave a child alone under 12, if you lived near a pub would you go out for a drink because you can check on them?? No you wouldnt do it, but because your on holiday them standards go out the window, why?? I pray for them.

Not quite how I would have put it but, I think that is what I was trying to get across,

Thank you.

[Tinkerbelle]

Maybe some people in this thread would like to organise some parenting classes for us mere mortal parents

[Less]

Originally Posted by Tinkerbelle

Maybe some people in this thread would like to organise some parenting classes for us mere mortal parents

If you consider leaving a child in a strange bedroom without supervision.....

whatever can you be taught that hind-sight and a life time of regret, could possibly replace a child for a meal?

[Tinkerbelle]

Less, sign me up for your first class .....

[Less]

Originally Posted by Tinkerbelle

Less, sign me up for your first class .....

That will be done when you start thinking with your brain instead of your heart, we all want the child to be brought home safely, but that doesn't mean we should ignore the fact that the parents are stupid for leaving her and the twins alone.

I am not trying to be difficult, I always hate when a child is abducted, or abused , or even a woman is raped or misused, but although I think it terrible that this girl has gone missing, I still maintain that the chances of such a thing happening would have been less if the parents had not let down their guard.

[Neil]

Originally Posted by Tinkerbelle

Maybe some people in this thread would like to organise some parenting classes for us mere mortal parents

I would be very surprised if you would leave a 3 year old in bed and go to the pub.

Originally Posted by Less

...when you start thinking with your brain instead of your heart.....

I think that is the exact point Less. I am sure we are all saddened by this girls abduction and we all hope she is found safe and well soon. Some of us however are realists and know why it happened. Some of us just don't like saying it was the parents fault because they think it will make them appear uncaring and callous.

[cashman]

Originally Posted by Neil

I would be very surprised if you would leave a 3 year old in bed and go to the pub.


I think that is the exact point Less. I am sure we are all saddened by this girls abduction and we all hope she is found safe and well soon. Some of us however are realists and know why it happened. Some of us just don't like saying it was the parents fault because they think it will make them appear uncaring and callous.

well said neil.

[WillowTheWhisp]

Maybe they had expressed concern at leaving the children to go for a meal. Maybe the hotel staff had reassured them and told them that people do it all the time there and they would be OK. We just don't know. We weren't there. We don't know the circumstances which is why I don't think we should be too ready to pass judgement. My girls are 12 and 15. Last year we left them on the hotel computers whilst we went and did things - or we let them go up to their room alone whilst we stayed by the pool. They were both over 12 but were they safe? Were we negligent?

If it's wrong to leave a child under 12 alone how many parents take their 11 year olds to secondry school and collect them again at 3 o'clock? (or ten past) Does that mean the roads are safer than your own home? People make these sorts of decisions all the time. If an 11 year old is abducted on the way home from school would the parents be to blame?

On the news this morning it sounded like the police were now less hopeful of finding Maddie alive. I hope that they are wrong and that she is found safe.

[Tinkerbelle]

You are entitled to your opinions, I am entitled to mine and my opinion will not change ....... I refuse to take part in any kind of castigation for a terrible misjudgement that they will regret for the rest of their lives.