morallity and employment

[churchfcrules]

Originally Posted by cashman

Thats sod all to do wi guilt oer employment, which i assumed cos of thread, thats what we were on about.

i thought we had wandered and were talking about morality in general, my mistake

however there would still be a certain degree of guilt, as i say if you can justify it there is no guilt, it doesnt have to be the type of job but the job itself

about 7 years ago, i was employed by a company that had me travelling around uk spending most nights away from home, plus i was a dj so worked weekends, and also setup the football club, at the time i felt guilty that mrs church, was left to look after the children on her own most of the time, but justified it by earning money, but it got to a stage where it was to much, and i resigned, best job i ever had, from payscale to responsabillity, but they thought they "owned me"

i did carry on working for them but only as a self employed contractor, because the guilt had got too much!

i was going against my own morality, of being there for my kids, and justifying it with money, although for a time i was seduced by the dark side, i brought myself back

[cashman]

I missed much of me kids growing up, through work, Many blokes did, Late wife did a damn good job wi em, I can say ive been a little sad oer missing certain things wi em, but certainly don't feel guilty,never did,Don't understand why yeh should,its called life.

[walkinman221]

Correct cashy i have had the same problem myself having worked away a lot including working abroad. It isnt good but as cashy says its life.

[churchfcrules]

Originally Posted by cashman

I missed much of me kids growing up, through work, Many blokes did, Late wife did a damn good job wi em, I can say ive been a little sad oer missing certain things wi em, but certainly don't feel guilty,never did,Don't understand why yeh should,its called life.

normal 9-5 stuff yeah, but when your hardly ever around, i was pretty much on call 24/7 to go anywhere in uk, mainly north of birmingham, scotland, ulster and ireland.

sometimes i would drive for 3 hours to get home for a couple of hours then drive off again for another 3 hours, and do an 18 hour shift somewhere, longest shift i did was 25 hours.
so when i was at home, i wasn't "really there", yes its life but its quality of life

and it should be work to live, not live to work, no matter how much money you make you will never buy back that precious time of your kids growing up

[cashman]

Originally Posted by churchfcrules

normal 9-5 stuff yeah, but when your hardly ever around, i was pretty much on call 24/7 to go anywhere in uk, mainly north of birmingham, scotland, ulster and ireland.

sometimes i would drive for 3 hours to get home for a couple of hours then drive off again for another 3 hours, and do an 18 hour shift somewhere, longest shift i did was 25 hours.
so when i was at home, i wasn't "really there", yes its life but its quality of life

and it should be work to live, not live to work, no matter how much money you make you will never buy back that precious time of your kids growing up

Rubbish never done 9-5 Did 7 days 12 hour shifts when kids were young. plus i was a D.J. as many know fer near 30 yrs as well.

[Margaret Pilkington]

It is good if you can spend time with your children as they grow up, but for many this is a luxury that they cannot afford...and what is more important ....a roof over their heads, bills paid, food on the table and clothes on their backs.......or spending time with them?
A child who knows his/her father is working so that they can be fed and clothed still feels the presence of their dad, and also it makes them see that things do not come easily...they have to be earned.

[churchfcrules]

Originally Posted by cashman

Rubbish never done 9-5 Did 7 days 12 hour shifts when kids were young. plus i was a D.J. as many know fer near 30 yrs as well.

so whats rubbish, how i felt about my family?

you justified your own actions, and didnt have any guilt over working 7 12 hour shifts a week, that is personal to you, i wouldnt dream of questioning your justification, its personal to you.

by the same token, i dont see how you can dismiss my own feelings on the subject, when as i say its a personal opinion?

it just reinforces my point of the justification/guilt, you could justify it i couldn't, there are a few more "issues" at the time, that are too personal to go into on an open forum, they did however concern "quality of family life", and caused me guilt, that led directly to me resigning from a job, so whats rubbish?

[cashman]

Originally Posted by churchfcrules

so whats rubbish, how i felt about my family?

you justified your own actions, and didnt have any guilt over working 7 12 hour shifts a week, that is personal to you, i wouldnt dream of questioning your justification, its personal to you.

by the same token, i dont see how you can dismiss my own feelings on the subject, when as i say its a personal opinion?

it just reinforces my point of the justification/guilt, you could justify it i couldn't, there are a few more "issues" at the time, that are too personal to go into on an open forum, they did however concern "quality of family life", and caused me guilt, that led directly to me resigning from a job, so whats rubbish?

Yeh really got hang ups mate, The rubbish comment was not how yeh feel about yer family, as anyone wi a grain of sense will see, it was about yer 9-5 inference, Its a waste of time trying to converse wi you n i should have taken me first instinct n ignored yeh.

[Margaret Pilkington]

Nothing 'Rubbish' about it. You make your choices, and hope they are the right ones.
I have a sneaking suspicion that you are a lot younger than Cashy.
I think child rearing was seen to be the mothers job in our era(nothing metrosexual about the chaps then).......I am of a similar age to Cashy......well my body is....I am only 14 in my head .

[churchfcrules]

Originally Posted by cashman

Yeh really got hang ups mate, The rubbish comment was not how yeh feel about yer family, as anyone wi a grain of sense will see, it was about yer 9-5 inference, Its a waste of time trying to converse wi you n i should have taken me first instinct n ignored yeh.

then vote with yer feet ad hit that ignore button

when you start a statement with rubbish it usually infers you are "rubbishing someones statement", however i gave you the benefit and questioned what you was refering to when using the word rubbish.

and i have no hang up, that im afraid is you, as you have stated previously you dislike me, and hold me in distain, therfore you always attatch the negative to anything i say, always "assume" i mean something negative.

but thats fine, i dont mind, stick to that first instinct and ignore me


and yes margaret you are probably right, as i say i am probably at least a generation away, and attitudes were different, my dads view was more that of cashman.

[cashman]

[QUOTE=churchfcrules;1016683]normal 9-5 stuff yeah, but when your hardly ever around, i was pretty much on call 24/7 to go anywhere in uk, mainly north of birmingham, scotland, ulster and ireland.

/QUOTE]

Originally Posted by cashman

Rubbish never done 9-5 Did 7 days 12 hour shifts when kids were young. plus i was a D.J. as many know fer near 30 yrs as well.

Was rubbishing yer insinuation that i had been a 9-5 man, Thats not negative its what yeh insinuated, n as fer telling me to vote wi me feet n hit the ignore button, its never been my way, i can easily ignore yeh without that, even though yeh have given the order master, it aint gonna happen.

[Sunflower49]

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

It is good if you can spend time with your children as they grow up, but for many this is a luxury that they cannot afford...and what is more important ....a roof over their heads, bills paid, food on the table and clothes on their backs.......or spending time with them?
A child who knows his/her father is working so that they can be fed and clothed still feels the presence of their dad, and also it makes them see that things do not come easily...they have to be earned.

This kind of hit home with me..Sorry if this is a thread wander, I had my own key from age of 7, there was Never anybody in when I got in from school and I often wondered seriously what the point of me, was? When my Mum got home from work at 7-8 pm (career woman) and my Dad returned from wherever neither said much to me anyway. I agree definitely that kids need to know things do not come easy and money has to be made-do not think unemployed parents are a good role model for example but, there needs to be a balance somewhere.

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

Threads only stay alive while people want to post to them....and even a thread wander(which could be considered to be about morals...although not the morals of employment) will keep a thread 'live' and in some cases will even add to the general interest.
People also have lives outside of Accyweb...these can be something that gets in the way of posting....so don't be too hasty in condemning the thread starter...or for that matter those who meander the thread about a bit.

Originally Posted by susie123

Give him a chance, he only started the thread at 11am today, since then, he may have been at work, visiting relatives, out with the dog, watching TV, enjoying a nice Sunday dinner - as Mrs P says we all have lives outside of Accyweb and he's back online now, and other folk have posted in the meantime so its not dead by any means.

^^This, if you start a thread I don't think it means you have to sit at your desk all day waiting to see if others reply so you can be there to comment...?

My job probably denotes questionable morals, I'm lucky enough to be a bit of a miser and I don't have many responsibilities aside from vehicles, a dog and rodents! If money got bad for some reason though, I think my morals wouldn't let me go any 'further' so to speak. That's perhaps something other than morals?

[churchfcrules]

[QUOTE=cashman;1016703]

Originally Posted by churchfcrules

normal 9-5 stuff yeah, but when your hardly ever around, i was pretty much on call 24/7 to go anywhere in uk, mainly north of birmingham, scotland, ulster and ireland.

/QUOTE]

Was rubbishing yer insinuation that i had been a 9-5 man, Thats not negative its what yeh insinuated, n as fer telling me to vote wi me feet n hit the ignore button, its never been my way, i can easily ignore yeh without that, even though yeh have given the order master, it aint gonna happen.

no i only implied it if you took my comment as negative, i was talking in general terms, i wouldnt have implied you were only 9-5 without knowing anything about you, but if you interpret everything i say as negative, same argument i suppose as your rubbish comment, only i allowed you to explain that because i wasnt clear what you was saying, your a bit more grouchy than me and just jump on in there.

[churchfcrules]

Originally Posted by sugarmouse0707

This kind of hit home with me..Sorry if this is a thread wander, I had my own key from age of 7, there was Never anybody in when I got in from school and I often wondered seriously what the point of me, was? When my Mum got home from work at 7-8 pm (career woman) and my Dad returned from wherever neither said much to me anyway. I agree definitely that kids need to know things do not come easy and money has to be made-do not think unemployed parents are a good role model for example



^^This, if you start a thread I don't think it means you have to sit at your desk all day waiting to see if others reply so you can be there to comment...?

so if and when you have children, on the moral scales, where will you fall, quality of life, or amount of money?

[churchfcrules]

planning on watching a film in bout 20 mins if thats ok with everyone, red lights if anyone is interested, couple glasses of cider, so shant be able to keep the thread alive im afraid, if anyone feels like, giving it a little bit of mouth to mouth now n again for me that would be great,