My Mum - Page 3

derekgas · 31-01-2008, 18:10

That is a shame, you of course know in your heart it is probably the best thing, especially as you wouldn't be able to manage yourself, try not to worry too much, your mum will come round to the idea.

lancscat · 31-01-2008, 18:11

Quote:

Originally Posted by forceten

We had a meeting at the hospital yesterday, and we have been told that there is no chance that Mum can ever return to her home. She is simply not fit.

Deep down I suppose I knew that, but to have it spelt out to you is really upsetting.

She has now to go into a nursing home. Not sure how I feel about it to be honest. I know that she wouldn't like it, but the way she is at the moment she doesn't understand.

I always said that I would look after her myself, but this is impossible now with all the complications that she has, and I know that she would be better off in nursing home, as she would be looked after.

Suppose I'm a little numb about it all at the moment

chin up,your doing your best.you keep smiling and your mum will keep smiling with you.xx

shillelagh · 31-01-2008, 18:26

sorry about that forceten. It is hard to look after someone when they are ill and probably better for her going into a home - they will look after her and will be there for her 24hrs a day.

harwood red · 31-01-2008, 19:14

Look deep inside yourself and ask the question, have you done everything you could for her?? have you been there for her?? Have you visited her at the hospital even though it has put pressure on your everyday life??

From reading your posts I think you can safely answer yes to all of the above...

So for once you will have to concede that you have done everything possible for your mum and you will have to let others do the work...

Be proud for all you have done and continue to do and regardless of where she lives I am sure you will still be there for her, every step of the way

take care xxx

jaysay · 01-02-2008, 10:47

Sorry to hear of this latest set back with your Mum forceten, I followed your mums progress with your regular upates on Blakburn 247, I'm sure everything will turn out for the best, at least your mum knows she has some one who really cares for her

grannyclaret · 01-02-2008, 13:46

Just try to keep your chin up , as best you can ,,,I hope that thief is happy now,

forceten · 29-08-2008, 22:23

I didn't want to start a new thread as I knew that there was one somewhere on here.

I apoligise that I haven't updated it. But I was a member on blackburn 247 and that is where it was updated.

Mum went to a nursing home. They decided a few months down the line that they couldn't cope with her and her needs.

So Mum has now moved to another nursing home. One that is alot better than the one she was previously in.

I can't go into much detail here to be honest as there is probably going to be a legal battle going on.

Social services are on my side, and are bringing the safeguarding of adults into it, it was previously the adult abuse act. So you can appreciate how serious this issue is.

This is for a lady that can do nothing for herself. She can't feed herself, can't speak properly, can't read anymore, is doubly incontinent, can go tachocardic, amongst many other medical problems since she had the stroke. Mum can't walk anymore, and can't even sit in a chair if it's not specailly adapted for her.

But social services are acting for me, and Mum is ok where she is. I say short of her being happy, as I know that she will never be happy until she is home, but that is impossible. I've even offered to have my house adapted and have nurse in, but I have been told no, she needs to be in nursing home where her needs are met.

It's broke my heart all this. And the final straw was what the old nursing home did to my mum and myself whilst my mum was in hospital.........only a full week after I said that there was something wrong with Mum............but hey, who am I?

I'm confident now that I have got the nursing home for mum right. Infact they only rang me last night asking me to go up and sit with her as she was upset and they couldn't settle her. Something that I had told the previous home I was prepared to do, but they never did

I have found out since that they just shut the door on Mum and waited until she stopped crying

Sorry, can't say much more at the moment, it's a legal battle, and one that I will take all the way.

Thanks for reading. I know that i'm rambling

Bonnyboy · 29-08-2008, 22:36

Ramble away as much as you want love, not that I see what you have said as being a ramble.

You fight your mothers corner tooth and nail, hope this thread offers a little outlet for your frustrations.

The very best of luck regarding any battles that lie ahead, keep your chin up.

WillowTheWhisp · 29-08-2008, 22:39

Oh how awful. I'm so glad to hear she is settled somewhere decent now but what an awful time she must have had and how terrible for you too to know that. How anyone could be so heartless as to just shut the door on her when she was upset is unbelievable. I'm lost for anything else to say at the moment.

Lilly · 29-08-2008, 22:41

I see what you meant the other day now when you said you wanted justice for your mum.

It makes me really sad to hear how some vulnerable people are treated in some homes.

Glad to hear she is in a good home now.

I wish you and your mum the best of luck in your battle for justice.

BERNADETTE · 29-08-2008, 23:24

You know my feelings on this, have been with you all the way. As I have said before take care of yourself because where would your Mum be without you battling for her??

jaysay · 30-08-2008, 09:24

I've followed forcetens thread about her mother on 247, and I think she is a wonderful carring person who will not be trodden on or allow her mother to be mistreated in any way whatsoever. You keep fighting your mohers corner forceten you deserve all the help you can get, and we can only hope that our kids look after our well being in the way you have with your Mum

mad_eye_moody · 30-08-2008, 11:30

iam glad you have found her a home that cares at long last. my mum nursed my nan when she had a termnal illness mum looked after her for about a year in the home untill she got really bad and needed 247 medical care and she had to go into nice home near the ymca in blackburn. keep us updated ft i know i dont really replay that often but i allways read and like to know hows your geting on.

Loz · 30-08-2008, 11:35

Glad to hear she is in a better home now.
That is terrible,leaving her to cry and ignoring her,hope karma comes back to bite them in the ass.
My grandad is in a home at the moment and luckily it is a good one and we have peace of mind that he is being well looked after,hope you have the same peace of mind now.

derekgas · 30-08-2008, 12:04

You know forceten, the way you have been there for your mum all the way through this is in itself, to take time out of what must be a horrendous brain tormenting schedule to keep us updated is nothing short of admirable, i am very glad you seem as contented as could be expected with your mums current situation, i looked through the thread to see if I could find the name of the home that treated your mum so badly, I dont have relatives in care homes, but think some here may have, and may pm you to find out which home warrants being pointed out so that tohers can avoid it, good luck, and good health go with you god willing!