My Mum - Page 4

forceten · 30-08-2008, 16:10

I'm sorry I'm not prepared to name the previous home on this thread. That's because I don't want to jeapodise any actions that Social Services may bring against them. But I think at some point it may be made public, such as the papers, as I would hate anybody to go through what I am going through now.

There is another big thing that happened Mum, one that I can't go into but that's the reason why social services are heavily involved.

Thanks for all your well wishes and support. Your also right in that by writing about it, and putting my thoughts down helps me to deal with it.

forceten · 31-08-2008, 21:52

Been up to see Mum. Either myself or my sister goes up everyday so she sees one of us.

Something isn't right with her. Can't put my finger on it at the moment, just know that something is wrong.

Mum is crying all the time, but there are no tears. It's like she is making a noise. Then she will stop for a few minutes, then realise that she is not making a noise and start again. I've asked her what is wrong and she can't tell me.

I can't pacify her anymore. It doesn't matter who is with her. My sister has said the same.

Mums eyes are dead. She knows who I am as she says hello to me and I can see that she recognises me. But other than that I am getting no conversation from her.

I've told her something this weekend, that normally she would have reacted to and spoken to me about and smiled. But nothing.

Her right hand is also more of a claw now. She had left sided stroke which affected her right side. I'm wondering if she has had another stroke, or is having lots of mini strokes?

I'm going up to see her tomorrow, and I'm going to speak to the nurses that are looking after her. Thing is, they don't know her well as she's only been there a week, so they probably won't notice this like my sister and I do. But they do listen to us, and I think they may call the Dr out if we ask.

BERNADETTE · 31-08-2008, 22:00

Can you not just ring the doctor regardless? Seems to me you would know your Mum better than anyone given all you have done just lately. Why wait? If it were me the doctor would be called.

Bonnyboy · 31-08-2008, 22:00

Tell the nursing staff that you would like a Doctors opinion, don’t assume they will do it if you ask, ensure that they will do it. Tell them to document the request.

Royboy39 · 31-08-2008, 22:07

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bonnyboy

Tell the nursing staff that you would like a Doctors opinion, don’t assume they will do it if you ask, ensure that they will do it. Tell them to document the request.

Is not your local Gp involved?
Why not tell your own doctor of your concerns?

forceten · 31-08-2008, 22:12

I will ask that they call Mums GP out tomorrow. I will also ask that they phone me when he is due to go to Mum, so that I can be there when he sees Mum and voice what I think. I am on leave from work Monday and Tuesday, but apart from that, I have a very understanding boss, and I can take leave or just leave work when I want if it is to do with Mum. They know how seriously ill Mum is.

I don't have a problem with this nursing home at all. I have no doubt in my mind that they will do as I ask. And if they don't, well I'll just phone Mums GP up myself and request a visit.

I know that Mum is seriously ill, I know that she is dying, but it doesn't make it any easier for me.

BERNADETTE · 31-08-2008, 22:15

Quote:

forceten.I know that Mum is seriously ill, I know that she is dying, but it doesn't make it any easier for me.

Forceten it must be so hard, you just want the best for your Mum and we all feel for you. Take carexxxxx

forceten · 31-08-2008, 22:19

Thanks Bernie..............it is hard. Mum has always been in control of her life before. She's been in charge..........and now she has had it all taken away from her. The fact that she knows that and can't do anything about it breaks my heart.

But I can't understand how she knows that this has all been taken away from her, and is crying all the time, yet there are no tears. I'm not explaining myself properly here, but I know what I mean.

I just wish that Mum didn't know anymore. But I suppose that I don't know how much she does know?

Does that make sense?

WillowTheWhisp · 31-08-2008, 22:22

It's such a difficult thing to see someone you love suffering. I know what you mean about knowing something is wrong but someone who doesn't know your Mum as well as you do not being able to see that. I had a similar experience with my mother. She kept having funny dos but didn't realise it herself and when I got the doctor to visit he couldn't see anything wrong and for a long time I felt like I was bashing my head against a brick wall and everyone else thinking I was crazy. It was so frustrating, especially as she kept telling the doctor there was nothing wrong because she didn't even know that there was.

It's so good that your Mum is in a caring nursing home now where they will respond to your concerns and actually care for your Mum and do what's best for her.

BERNADETTE · 31-08-2008, 22:23

Yes I think it does, you know her so well and know in your heart of hearts why she is so upset even if she can't telling you. I am worried that you are going to make yourself ill with all the stress. Please take carexxxxx

Royboy39 · 31-08-2008, 22:24

Quote:

Originally Posted by forceten

And if they don't, well I'll just phone Mums GP up myself and request a visit.

I know that Mum is seriously ill, I know that she is dying, but it doesn't make it any easier for me.

Do it..phone the GP and tell him of your problem.....never mind if they don't.
You do it.
I know, I lost my Mum 10 years ago...and it hurt.

cashman · 31-08-2008, 22:24

you keep putting down on here Forceten, if it helps ya, i know things must be a nightmare fer ya, yer doing yer best n thats all ya can do,no more than that, good luck in yer fight n keep yer chin up.

WillowTheWhisp · 31-08-2008, 22:25

It's probably frustrating for her not to be able to tell you too. Just assure her that you know and that you are doing all you can to get justice for her. I'm sure you must have done that anyway.

derekgas · 31-08-2008, 22:27

I guess all the massive changes have had a huge impact on your mum forceten, much as they have on yourself and your family, the doctor is a good idea, i would prepare yourself for the possibility that he may not be able to emlighten you, Is a crying shame your mum cant explain this for you, once again, wish you all well, and hope you do indeed get the answers you need and deserve.

cherokee · 31-08-2008, 23:14

Forceten I have read this thread with tears in my eyes, It must be very frustrating for you all right now, There are many people on here who have been in a very similar situation, a couple that I know of personally , and the advice you will get off here is mostly from personal experience.
Take it all on board and try and stay strong, You will get through this and by what you say you are more than happy with the care your mum is recieving. But dont worry in silence . If your concerned call your GP and keep posting and taking the advice from here.

My thoughts are with your mum and your sister and of course you.
Stay strong and take care. xxxx