New English Invasion

SPUGGIE J · 01-11-2005, 09:52

There was in the paper yesterday a kittle piece on the new invasion of Scotland being resisted in Dunfries and Galloway with leathel force. Enemy casualties 200+ Scottish 0. Confused well so was I as the invader is General B Grey-Squirrel and his hoards. It seems that he and his band of wannabe rambo's are trying to do an Impression of the yanks.

Only problem is it has become a bit of a biological war as the general and his hoard are infected with a form of pox that is close to the miximatosis of rabbits. Now General "Little Red" Tuffty has no has no antidote to this and has mercenaries doing the fighting for him thus preserving his army.

Ok joking aside this is a little daft as the barn door is being closed years after the horse bolted. There are grey squirrels already here as far as the coniforous tree line (they hate conifers). Yet they are trying to stop the disease reaching the Scottish reds population when the grays are already entrenched. The reys will do anything to get food and will eat or try to eat most things and as they are not shy or dumb do succeed. The disease they carry is fatel to reds and as Scotland has the largest population in the uk someone has decided to shoot any grey that decides it wants to move to Scotland.

The grey is not a native of the UK but came from the USA and has flourished. I am one that believes in natuaral selection and survival of the fitest as this gives us the diversity of fauna we have but to blast something to death because of what it carries is not right its a wild animal. As with all wild animals resistance to disease will build up in some of those that survive and they will propigate again. Why do we always have to interfere with nature because mother nature will always get revenge (bird flu).

garinda · 01-11-2005, 23:45

Did the grey squirels use an air balloon to bypass Dumfries and Galloway, or did they arrive by boat from Mary Port in Cumbria?

There were loads of the little grey nut hoarders in Glasgow when I lived there.

chav1 · 02-11-2005, 02:35

dont worry as soon as the usa heres about suspected biological viruses president bush will invade scotland to liberate the red squirells and somehow convice tony blair tha its a good idea as the red squirells have a plentyfull supply of nuts

the only downside is the price of nuts will increase drasticly

even nobby's nuts will become out of the price range of most people forcing them to eat no frills nuts