No more Mr. Nice-Guy!

[Acrylic-bob]

Since it is the quiet time of the year, Baking-wise, I find I have a little free time on my hands and I have been using some of it to catch up on television programmes. I am begining to wish that I had not bothered and that I had taken up poultry fancying instead. I have come to the conclusion that TV is peopled entirely by all those people who you would not normally cross the street to sneer at.

I am heartily sick and tired of the seeing the same old faces mouthing the same old lines in the same old programme formats. If I hear Phil Mitchell whining about not being able to see his son just one more time I am going to set fire to the BBC.

With this in mind, I thought it would be amusing to hold a sort of unofficial straw-poll survey of the people on Television who we would derive most personal satisfaction from giving a punch in the gob to. I'm not talking a metaphorical slap on the wrist here, I mean a good old-fashioned, sleeves rolled, up arm back punch, right in the kisser! The sort that requires the recipient to shove their toothbrush up their bum to clean their teeth, what few they have left.

The rules are simple.. I need a name and a reason - thats it!

oh and in the following format...


I would most like to give a punch in the mouth to (NAME) because...(REASON WHY). Any additional comments or suggestions may be added at the end of your citation. You may nominate as many tv people as you like, if this proves succesful we might then move on to other sections of the population.

I will start us off...

I would most like to give a punch in the mouth to Aled Jones because he is probably the most insipid, mealy-mouthed creation it has ever been my misfortune to come across. A talentless no-hoper with no taste or dress sense with not even the saving grace of a secret vice with which to ameliorate the bland, dull as ditchwater presentation style. There are only two people in the entire country it is impossible to imagine having a good old heave on the cludgy; one is our own dear Queen, and the other is Aled Jones.

[grannyclaret]

oh you have just taken the wind out of my sails....aled jones is lovey.. and i play his latest album on i tunes on this computer every day,,,,,,,,,,,
now iwould realy like to punch the stupid people on the adverts who keep tripping on wet floors ,falling off ladders and falling off chairs etc,,,you would think they would have learnt by now ,but they dont........

[lettie]

I would really love to give a punch in the face to Sian Lloyd (the weather girl) For years her false, Batman's Joker-like smile has riddled our screens, giving me an overwhelming urge to throw something large and heavy at my telly. This woman makes my skin crawl....


Is that what you meant A-B???

[grannyclaret]

Originally Posted by lettie

I would really love to give a punch in the face to Sian Lloyd (the weather girl) For years her false, Batman's Joker-like smile has riddled our screens, giving me an overwhelming urge to throw something large and heavy at my telly. This woman makes my skin crawl....


Is that what you meant A-B???

lol ..so does her twisted face boyfriend lembic orpic...or nosepick???

[Stanaccy]

I want Richard Madeley to be skinned, rolled in salt with lime juice slowly dripped onto the exposed flesh and then have the living daylights kicked out of him. Then hung on a hook by his tendons and after a while put on a spit and slowly cooked.

I hate his smug smile, his arrogant way of questioning, the way he will change his opinion to suit his guests the way......................I just loathe the bloke witha passion he can only dream of!

[West Ender]

Being the non-violent sort I would like to slap round the chops with a wet fish - Bruce Forsyth. He irritates me beyond belief and he has mean little eyes. I would also like to nominate for a bath in congealed custard - Sir Ben Kingsley who, I have heard, insists on being called Sir Ben by every one at all times and won't answer if they don't (pretentious prat!).

[SPUGGIE J]

Too much violence here for me I think I would hire someone to do it. Target being Alan Hanson for being a bad football critic (in my book anyway).

[shakermaker]

I would LOVE to punch PHIL COLLINS in the mouth several times. He talks absolute testicles (biological term - so the SS on here cant slap me on the wrist again) total torie who is the most overated w***y up his own rectum bum-hole of all time.

sigh....rant over for today

[SPUGGIE J]

Originally Posted by shakermaker

I would LOVE to punch PHIL COLLINS in the mouth several times. He talks absolute testicles (biological term - so the SS on here cant slap me on the wrist again) total torie who is the most overated w***y up his own rectum bum-hole of all time.

sigh....rant over for today

Is he that far up his dungie that cave rescue are needed? Maybe being up there means he is talking from it. His gooseberries might be there to keep him in tune though fat chance of that.

[shakermaker]

see there's explanations everywhere!! lol

fetch the preparation h.............

[SPUGGIE J]

Originally Posted by shakermaker

see there's explanations everywhere!! lol

fetch the preparation h.............

With or without a turkey baster?

[shakermaker]

pmsl! eeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuwwwwwww

[garinda]

Back to the buns Acidic-babs I think.

Violence is wrong.

Well maybe I'd just give a playful shove to smiley, smiley Carol Smilie.
Oh, and Linda Barker in those bloody adverts, and......

[pendy]

I don't have a television, so I can't get driven insane by the crap that appears on it.

One exception though, I would love to give a great big belt with a sting-ray to Carol Vorderman, whose smug kisser and cleverer than you attitude drive me mad every time I see her. She isn't that clever either, she only got a second!

[grannyclaret]

also .i blame her for a lot of gullible people getting into debt... she makes it sound like first plus are giving money away ,,, some people believe whatever she says must be true....