Regrets you've had in your life? - Page 2

grannyclaret · 18-07-2005, 18:51

b.r. i thought you were a nice lad.....
i regret not answering the phone one monday morning in 1981. i wanted to lie in bed. and
later that morning the police came and told me my mum had been found dead in the chair by the milkman...
i often wonder if it was her ,and i couldent be bothered to answer the phone..

grannyclaret · 18-07-2005, 18:53

I THOUGHT WE WERE to put nice things on here today....
i am happy .......

Margaret Pilkington · 18-07-2005, 18:57

Oh.......Granny, that is soooooo sad.

pendy · 21-07-2005, 15:25

In the course of a longish and VERY eventful life, I have discovered that the things you regret most are the things you DIDN'T do. We learn to live with the things we did do, but we never forget the things we might have done.

One thing I have learned is never to pass up the chance to tell someone you love them, or even just that you appreciate their friendship.

fireman · 21-07-2005, 22:05

I lost my dad 26years ago, we nwver got on well, he was a retired Regimental Sgt Major. He then joined the Fire Service. He always wanted me to follow in his footsteps and join the army. At a low ebb one day I went and spoke to the Army Information Office In Liverpool and took the entrance exam. This I found very easy. Next thing my dad found out that I had done this. Wiyhout asking me he contacted his old CO. and within days some high ranking officer was at our home offering me a commision to Sandhurst. I regretfully refused. This did nothing for our relationship, in fact I don't really remember him calling me Ian again. I joined the Fire Service and rose through the ranks ,something he never did but all he could say was " It must be easier now" He died very suddenly aged 59. and I was very upset. I have spent years regretting not having a good relationship with him, Ihardly new him. Last November My mum died of cancer. I was with her to the end andtried to help her as much as I could.
After her death I was appionted executor and had to clear her home and makee all the arrangments. Whilst going through some old family papers I found the following , written in my dads handwriting.

GET YOUR HANKIES OUT>

It was headed...................HOW CAN I LEAVE YOU>
and went on to read
HOW CAN I LEAVE YOU, THOUGH I KNOW IT'S TIME TO GO.
HOW CAN I LEAVE YOU, WHEN I LOVE YOU SO.
EVENTIDE IS FALLING, I MUST BE ON MY WAY.
ALL THE WORLD IS CALLING, STILL MY HEART SAYS STAY.

FAITHFULL FOREVER,MY LOVE WILL BE A STAR.
SHINING FOREVER, EVERYWHERE YOU ARE.
TENDERLY, BELOVED, KISS ME ONCE MORE, AND THEN THINK OF ME BELOVED, TILL WE MEET AGAIN.

FAITHFULL FOREVER. X

Well I cried for days, did my dad write this? or did he just copy it from somewhere, even if he did copy it, at least I now know he did have a heart that made him feel enough emotion to put pen to paper. I don't want to know now which it was it would maybe destroy a bit more for me.

Ihad my son in law read it out at my mums funeral. The words are so special to me and I hope others can take some peace from them.

Going for a large whiskey now and a tear or two. Ian.

WillowTheWhisp · 21-07-2005, 22:55

That's beautiful. Whether your Dad composed it or not he wrote it out and so the words meant somethng to him.

Sometimes we find that others can put our feelings into words better than we can ourselves.

I don't think I have any actual regrets in my life. I have a few "what ifs" but if I hadn't done all the things I have done, or if I'd done some of th things I didn't do then I wouldn't be where I am today and I don't thin I would want to change any of that.

I hope that I have learned from those things which can be considered my mistakes and in that case perhaps they weren't really mistakes after all but just lessons in life - work in progress.

It's never too late to learn Mani - give it a go.

sarah · 21-07-2005, 23:17

I too wish I'd done more education wise. I'm now in a job with long hours just so that I can bring home enough coin to do things that I want to do. Looking for another job, or doing a part time course is so difficult when I'm working daft hours all over the place and never knowing what hours I'm working from one week to the next. Plus the cost of going back into education frightens me. I need an income.

lettie · 25-07-2005, 06:56

I have no real regrets. If I hadn't done some of the things that I've done I wouldn't have learned anything from them. I sometimes have a few 'I wonder if' moments.

I am working full time on unpredictable shifts and am still managing to do a degree part time. If you want to further your education Mani, and Sarah, then just do it.... Don't expect it to be easy because it's damned hard work when you are already working full time, but I tell myself that it will be worth it.

slinky · 25-07-2005, 10:31

I have done somethings that I think ''oh dear I wish I hadn't done that'', But like a few of you said........IF I hadn't done it then I can't learn from it.
Mistakes are there to be made!! but live with them, learn by them and move on.

Tinkerbelle · 25-07-2005, 16:01

I might regret not starting my law combined with criminology degree at Preston this year, but after a hell of a crap year I didn't know if I could give it my full commitement

For anyone who is interested, the adult courses at Acc & Ross are excellent, I have spent 2 year there already studying law, psychology, sociology, criminology, english, CLAIT, and ECDL and will be starting a 3rd year there in September for the advanced computer courses. The hours are parent friendly, the tutors are fantastic, it really is such a good laugh. I strongly recommend anyone thinking about it should go for it

you'll love it!

garinda · 25-07-2005, 18:05

Re: Fireman's post.

I missed that post until this thread was reignited today. Thanks for that matey, l cried too.
Knowing you a little bit, l know you will have a different relationship with your son than you sadly had with your Dad.

That's one of the good things of the modern age, men, or a greater majority of them, aren't afraid to show their loving side, instead of having to wear a so called 'macho' mask. At least your Dad was able to show you he did have a loving side, even if it was from beyond the grave.

fireman · 25-07-2005, 18:10

Thanks for that pal it is hard to realise that someone you always thought was a heartless and insensitive person had a heart after all but somehow could not show it. Cheers pal.

grannyclaret · 25-07-2005, 19:32

those words moved me to tears too..

fireman · 25-07-2005, 20:14

They did me Granny for weeks. .......And still after a whiskey or 3. x

grannyclaret · 25-07-2005, 21:00

mat monroe sings a true song with very moving words about this father who is dying and his son who is at his bed side ,the son has just nodded off and the father is thinking .he wants to die before his son wakes up because he knows his son will try to keep him from going ..i have got a lump in my throat just writing this...i love that song....SOFTLY AS I LEAVE YOU ...