Rose coloured criticism.

[WillowTheWhisp]

We've just come back from a long weekend in Bedfordshire and deviated through the Cotswolds. Not a scrap of litter to be seen, no graffitti, no vandalism - not even in what are supposedly the scruffy areas. Accy in comprison is a slum and it's depressing. Sorry I just can't seem to find my rosy specs.

[garinda]

Originally Posted by WillowTheWhisp

We've just come back from a long weekend in Bedfordshire and deviated through the Cotswolds. Not a scrap of litter to be seen, no graffitti, no vandalism - not even in what are supposedly the scruffy areas. Accy in comprison is a slum and it's depressing. Sorry I just can't seem to find my rosy specs.

See, the citizens of the south, from Sandy Beds to Stow on the Wold, don't knock their area, and just look at how the results have impressed you. Litter free, vandaless, and prosperous to boot.

Peter was right.

[Gayle]

Can I stress once and for all that I do not wear rosy specs and that I am well aware of the flaws of the area - heck, why do you think I put myself through the hell of standing for council?

But, I was always told that if you want a good haircut you have to go to the hairdressers with your makeup on. The point being that you have to at least look like you want to improve yourself before someone else will help you. And yes, makeup may be playing down the flaws but it gets you the good haircut which then gets you the self esteem and the good job.

[garinda]

Fundamentally disagree, I'm afraid.

Qualifications, and whether I could do the job, have always stood me in good stead interviews, not cosmetic alterations that may deceive the more shallow.

[WillowTheWhisp]

The words "cracks" and "paper" come to mind.

[Gayle]

Originally Posted by garinda

Fundamentally disagree, I'm afraid.

Qualifications, and whether I could do the job, have always stood me in good stead interviews, not cosmetic alterations that may deceive the more shallow.

Rubbish, and you know it - if you had gone for a job with a fashion company and been wearing a dirty tracksuit and trainers with unwashed hair would you have got it? You're good looking and you dress well - please don't try telling me that appearance means nothing in the work place! You might have the right qualifications and I'm sure they were important but employers don't employ people just because of a piece of paper.

[Gayle]

Originally Posted by WillowTheWhisp

The words "cracks" and "paper" come to mind.

No, it is not papering over the cracks - that doesn't help at all - and that's not what I'm advocating.

If you have guests around to your house and the kitchen is a mess but the living room is tidy, which room do you take your guests into? It's about highlighting the positive and before you say 'well, you're hiding the kitchen' I'm not, I'm just not mentioning it and I'm certainly not telling anyone it's glorious, I'm just showing off the positive.

[garinda]

Originally Posted by Gayle

Rubbish, and you know it - if you had gone for a job with a fashion company and been wearing a dirty tracksuit and trainers with unwashed hair would you have got it? You're good looking and you dress well - please don't try telling me that appearance means nothing in the work place! You might have the right qualifications and I'm sure they were important but employers don't employ people just because of a piece of paper.

If I thought it was rubbish I wouldn't have posted it, though if my drugs had kicked in and I could type, it should have read 'in interviews', damn disappearing edit button.

We really will have to disagree on this one.

I'm with Willow. Papering over the cracks, may be a short term solution, and make you feel secure, but ultimately your house will fall down.

[Gayle]

And for one final time - I am NOT advocating papering over the cracks. The cracks are there and they are completely visible for everyone to see. All I'm saying is that there are also, alongside the cracks, some good features and we shouldn't lose sight of them. We shouldn't let the cracks be the one and only feature that we talk about.

If we start talking about the good things and perhaps embracing new ideas we might get a more positive attitude which will give a good impression to outsiders and the investors who can afford to fix the cracks might start coming back to the town.

Ironically, if we sink much further we'll manage to hit the bottom of the pile as far as wealth/investment etc goes and we will become classed as such a deprived area that the government will have to start ploughing millions into the area.

[garinda]

Originally Posted by Gayle

Ironically, if we sink much further we'll manage to hit the bottom of the pile as far as wealth/investment etc goes and we will become classed as such a deprived area that the government will have to start ploughing millions into the area.

Which would be a bad thing?

[Billcat]

Originally Posted by garinda

Bill, everyone has a right to question those that have put themselves up for public office. It's called democracy. What that person does or doesn't do for the community is totally irrelevant, as most people I know go about that sort of thing quietly, without the need to make a big song and dance about it, and if they do that shows something lacking in character in my opinion.

Certainly it is fine to ask if those in public office are doing a good job - or if someone else might do better. It is also fine to question those in office about a problem that you see.

But there are still a couple of issues. I've never believed that government should do everything. There are some things government can and should do, like schools and roads, for instance. There are other things that individuals or businesses can do better.

Also, from a purely personal point of view, I find it rewarding to work on improving my community. When a group of us accomplish something, we get a sense of accomplishment and self-empowerment. We also discover that we can make a lot more things happen - in part because we find we can personally accomplish more, in part because people see our success and want to lend a hand, and in part ecause our accomplishments help us to gain the cooperation of our the local government.

Garinda, it's not a matter of papering things over or having a rosy outlook. It's a matter of being positive enough to believe that I can drive changes. It's been my experience that folks who are consistently negative have a much harder time getting improvements made. I can recognize problems as well as anyone else, believe me, and there are plenty of things that could be improved. I just prefer to recognize them with an eye towards changing some of them.

Some personal reflections on how I choose to live. Works for me, but it is a very personal choice - your mileage may vary! I would be a very unhappy, miserable S.O.B. of a fellow indeed if I found my environs to hold little or nothing worthwhile and also felt that there was little I could do to improve things. On the other hand, if I can find some good things around me (and they can be anywhere in the range from the spectacular to very simple pleasures, like conversing with friends or singing sily songs in the front garden, drink in hand, on a Summer evening) and feel empowered to improve some of the not-so-good things, I find life to be fulfilling. As a result, that's how I choose to live. Given the sad events in my life this last year, with Eileen's death, this approach has helped me to keep moving forward and begin the healing process as well.

[WillowTheWhisp]

Rather than illustrate my points about "things we can't change but changes we would like to see" in this thread and maybe take it too far off its original course I have started a new thread on the subject.

However, I would like to say that I'm sure most of us happily do our bit for our own bit and more (like picking up stray litter as well as just not dropping any, but we can't take over from the council -we can't do the bin emptying etc or even put in a tender for it if we don't own a company with big trucks).

If I had a kitchen that was falling down I'd prefer to actually repair the kitchen rather than just make sure no-one went in there. Yes I know Gayle, you didn't say "falling down" and just said "a mess" but a mess when not attended to can often get much worse - stitches in time saving 9 and all that.

[garinda]

Bill, we've met, and I hope got on. I agree with you, on a lot of what you said. I do consider that I am one of life's optimists. The glass is most definitely half full, because I keep it topped up regularly.

What I do disagree with however, is two things that were raised in this thread.

One being that we should never 'knock' our area. I think it is our duty, if we see something that can be improved by our doing so. Secondly that people who aren't seen out and about in the community actively doing things, don't have the right to voice their opinions.

The second one really made me angry, as it's both patronising and presumptuous. I very nearly felt I had to justify myself, by listing the things I've done in the past and do now, but that would have defeat what I think, and what I respect about a lot of the true altruistic people that I know, that make the community I inhabit a better place to live.

[Billcat]

Originally Posted by garinda

Bill, we've met, and I hope got on. I agree with you, on a lot of what you said. I do consider that I am one of life's optimists. The glass is most definitely half full, because I keep it topped up regularly.

Secondly that people who aren't seen out and about in the community actively doing things, don't have the right to voice their opinions.

I am sure that we got on, Garinda! BTW, something that might be of interest to you. The highest court in the state of New Jersey ruled yesterday that gay couples are entitled to the benefits of marriage and gave the legislature 180 days to either modify the laws pertaining to marriage or to enact a civil union bill. My daughter and her partner were very pleased, although they live in another state.

I agree with you about keeping the glass half full (or better)!

Regarding the right of folks who wish to complain but who don't try personally to address any of the problems, I will agree that they have the right to voice their opinions. Heck, they have the right to stand on their heads and recite the telephone directory for that matter. I don't care to listen to them in either case. While it is their right to complain, I hope you will agree that it is my right to choose to whom I will listen.

It has been my observation that folks who do nothing but complain don't seem to succeed at finding many willing listeners. The same holds true, at least for this listener, for those folks who find their excuse for inaction by taking the position that everything is wonderful and there is no reason for change.

I try to take a balanced view - Some things are great, some are not. Praise and maintain the good stuff. By all means use it as a marketing message for your community. Identify the not-so-good stuff and suggest improvements (a positive approach, better than complaining, with the added benefit that your ideas on how to improve things get an airing) or start one or more of the improvements yourself (far better than complaining).

Frankly, garinda, I think that we are agreeing on a lot of points. Hope to see you with the glass full to the brim in December!

A thought from Margaret Mead, "Never doubt that a small, group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." Pretty good stuff, IMHO!

[garinda]

Thanks for the info Bill, but Galactic law still states that I can't marry one of you humans, of either gender yet.