Rubbish ! - Page 3

WillowTheWhisp · 21-09-2004, 13:35

Presumably by the time we have all the necessary containers to segregate our rubbish at home we'll need twice the number of collections just to deal with them all (not to mention the limited space some of us have for storing the flippin things.

I can't eat it - I'm trying to diet.

Acrylic-bob · 21-09-2004, 16:13

Q. And what are all these rubbish recepticles made of?
A. PLASTIC.
Q. Where does plastic come from?
A. From OIL.
Q. Where does OIL come from?
A. Mostly from the Middle East.

So now we know the real reason why we went to war in Iraq.

pendy · 21-09-2004, 16:27

And what else do we know about plastic - difficult and expensive to recycle, even if it can be done, and it doesn't biodegrade.

Good, innit.

WillowTheWhisp · 21-09-2004, 16:31

Quote:

Originally Posted by pendy

- difficult and expensive to recycle

There was a prog on TV yesterday which involved the use of imitation slate tiles made from recycled plastic. Not that you can use them on house rooftops so that leaves you wondering "Why????????????????"

They can also do park benches and fences - hey there's an idea Mez.

The council can make you a fence out of recycled plastic. It should be more durable than wood too.

pendy · 21-09-2004, 16:37

And what's more, you can't paint on plastic - so no graffiti - sorted!

mez · 21-09-2004, 16:47

actually ive seen some on the web made out of hard durable plastic, i dread to think wot the'yd cost.

pendy · 21-09-2004, 16:50

So - how soon can we recycle the Council?

And what colour box/bag should they go in?

JohnW · 21-09-2004, 17:23

Put them in the dog poo bags with the stuff that's already there.

Darby · 22-09-2004, 05:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by pendy

Don't tell us about producing less rubbish - tell the manufacturers who package their stuff in three or four wrappings. What are we supposed to do with that - eat it? Mind you, some of the stuff they produce these days, the cardboard wrapping probably has more taste ...

I couldn't agree more Pendy. Over here every supermarket has a set of bins just before the main exit where you can unwrap your goods and leave the wrapping which is removed by the council (Stadt) on a daily basis.

The problem with this, is that there are so many people around the bins and so little space, and so much shopping (that's wrapped), that it takes ages to ditch the stuff. Still it's a better idea than takling it home and trying to get rid of it!

pendy · 22-09-2004, 12:29

Okay - we'll sort it out since the council can't.

The council can go in the green bags with the pythons. That will please the pythons as it will give them something to eat while they wait to be collected. It may not please the council, but who cares?

In the meantime, we can all rejoice by drinking lots and giving the binmen plenty of cans and bottles to collect (if the poor wee souls are well enough to do so, of course). Perhaps we should organise sick-visiting for them all? - except I don't fancy spending hours in the bookies or on the golf course!

Darby · 22-09-2004, 14:07

Just came accross this one from a Mr. Barry Beezelbud (pen name I assume):

Its reall funny (or so I think!)

THE DEVILS ADVOCATE (with apologies)

MUCH CONSTERNATION at Beezelbub Mansions. Those jobsworths on the local council have suddenly issued us with a green wheelie bin and simultaneously informed us that, in future, our black bin will only be emptied once a fortnight. They've got to be joking, right?

The first problem is finding space for the two big bins along with an existing recycling box. It's not an issue for me, of course. We can soon convert one of the empty kennels into a bin store, but how are poor people who live in terraced houses or flats supposed to manage? Have a spare teenager press-ganged into the navy? Sell a superfluous baby?

And then there's the rate at which we produce household waste. Our bin was emptied on Friday morning.

It's now Tuesday evening and it's already almost full. I wouldn't mind but we were away for the weekend.

We already do our bit for recycling. Every bottle, of which there are many, is recycled. Every newspaper, of which there are also many, is also recycled.

The council won't let us put organic waste like vegetable peelings into the green bin and they seem unable to recycle plastic bottles, so what is a man to do?

I'd have Whittaker (the man servant) wash out the things (amazingly a bargain £5 at Tesco) but they won't collect them. (With redundancy imminent, he's already collecting all the little bits of soap left in the 14 bathrooms, melting them down and making new bars out of them that he then sells at the farmers' market on Wednesday mornings. ) I'd bring home less packaging, but the girls in Waitrose get snotty if you tear the cellophane off the avocados before taking them to the till. The Oxfam lady already collects our old jumpers and sends them off to hungry kids in Equatorial Africa.

(Quite why, I don't know. The last thing you want in a drought-ridden desert is a Fair Isle sleeveless cardigan.) One thing they will allow in the green bin is "unwaxed cardboard".

What on earth is unwaxed cardboard? Mrs Beelzebub and myself spent fully 40 minutes the other night discussing the waxalicious attributes of an empty cereal box. I thought it was unwaxed; she begged to differ. In the end we threw it on a bonfire with all the other cardboard in the bin.

You could see the thick black smoke for miles.

I know where this will end. By Saturday morning I'll be loading up the excess black bags into the boot of the five-litre Range Rover and driving them the seven miles to the council tip - at a climate-threatening 17 miles to the gallon, and while pumping out enough carbon monoxide to bring on asthma attacks in several small children.

Just don't blame me when Norwich disappears under the sea and Hurricane Angus devastates Glasgow.

SO YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONES WITH A PROBLEM!!!

WillowTheWhisp · 22-09-2004, 14:23

It sounds very much like John Waterhouse.

Darby · 22-09-2004, 14:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by WillowTheWhisp

It sounds very much like John Waterhouse.

It does sound like him of old. But this one's from the West Country!!

He does a weekly article, all very, very, funny (or I think so)

annee · 30-09-2004, 20:01

Dont Tell Me About Hbc.they Have Left My Bin A Few Times The Rubbish Just Piled Up So I Rang Up To Complane And They Said Yes U Guessed Ur Bin Wasnt Prosioned Propley So I Sai D Oh Yes It Was And If Sumone Dosnt Cum Out Dam Soon I Will Tip All My Rubbish [[[[[[[[dirty Nappies ....... Used Towels And Any Other Revolting Things U Can Think Of ]]]]]]] She Said Oh U Cant Do That So I Said Watch This Space If No One Cums Im Also Going To The Papers Guess What They Emteyed It The Same Day And I Never Even Rearanged My Bin Lol.oh And I Will Just Say One More Thing They Say Present Ur Bin Propely But When They Do Emty Then They Just Leave All The Bins All Over The Place Why Cant They Put Them Back Where They Found Them .its One Law 4 Us And Another 4 Them ....rite I Can Take A Breath Now Lol Annee

Uncle Mick · 30-09-2004, 20:25

I have a suggestion. Why not scrap the recycling scheme for residents, transport the waste to Whinney Hill and there young offenders working their community service can sort the rubbish out for us!!