Serious Issue - Page 2

Debbie J · 30-08-2005, 19:17

I have been informed that I am the cruelest mum going. WHY? because my 7year old has to be in at 8pm (in summer) This wasn't said by him but other kids & parents. Apparently there is nothing wrong with him coming in when he wants! I am not sorry that I am seen as cruel I'd rather be that than something happen to him because I'm watching T.V. instead of him.

My other half thinks I am too protective and I should learn to loosen the apron strings but I can't. I worry when I can't see him as it's not just adults you have to warn kids about.

grego · 30-08-2005, 19:23

Debbie, I think your right to be protective, the kids where I live are often still playing out when I've gone to bed, in summer anyway.

SPUGGIE J · 30-08-2005, 19:36

Grego were I stay it is not unknown for under tens to be out until 10 or 11pm because they are having a night out and the kids are suposed to be with the grand parents. These mothers/fathers are ussually under 20 and do not have the sence to check that their children are were they are supposed to be. Booze and fun first kids are at grans so lets party.

Unknown to some of the older parents (or maybe it is) their darling 12 and 13 year olds are having a fag and shring a bottle of Buckfast in the park with the drunken 15 and 16 year olds. Its that bad that I will not go near a shop because of children asking for drink to be bought its like a badge of honour with them to be paraletic. Yet as they are at grans mum and dad dont find out or wont do anything about it so the cycle continues until it all goes wrong then they the parents are not to blame but the ones their kids team with are.

Kids full of drink late at night are easy targets but as Chav says

" the annoying thing is that stopping to help a lost child can get you in trouble these days and you are more likely to get shouted at by the parents for approaching their child rather than thanked for been considerate enough to ask if it is ok or lost or somthing"

what chance have we?

cashman · 30-08-2005, 21:55

stand by your guns debbie you,ll do for me.

West Ender · 30-08-2005, 22:10

Debbie, you are a responsible parent and I only wish there were more like you. Don't listen to others, you know what's best. There is little discipline around these days and when children get into trouble their parents lie for them and defend them. Your child has boundaries and that's good. He's 7 years old, not much more than a baby, so don't give in.

harwood red · 30-08-2005, 22:15

Quote:

Originally Posted by lettie

I have a good social life and like to travel (a lot). I know that to some people it sounds selfish. By some people I mean my mother who used to berate me for not having kids until told that it was selfish of her to try and make me feel guilty for not providing grandchildren.

I have to say that to make the choice not to have children is one of the most UNselfish things to do. Because you have made the decision not to have children because of the way you like your life. Those that have children and carry on regardless are the selfish ones!!!

Also Debbie I'm with you. So you are not in a minority, unless all us on here are just damn good parents

SPUGGIE J · 30-08-2005, 22:43

It seems there are sensible parents out there dispite all the publicity about bad ones it could be a sign of the times out there today. It makes me feel better to know that some parents care about the welfare of their children and act accordingly even when they are slated for it. Those children will grow up better for it even if they don't like it .

garinda · 30-08-2005, 22:59

I read this thread when it was posted, and have just finished reading the replies when I've just got in at eleven o'clock tonight.

It's dark, and I've walked past children still out whose ages I presume range from seven to fifteen, all unsupervised by any adults, which is wrong.

I totally agree that parents should take responsibility for their children. On the otherhand, I remember in the school holidays being allowed to play out until it was going 'a bit dark', which happened tonight about 8.30pm.

It does seem a shame that the freedoms the previous generations enjoyed, to begin to explore the world, are being erroded. Are there really that many more dangers now than in years gone by, or are we just better informed of them because of an obsessive media?

This isn't a plea for parents to absolve themselves of responsibilities, just a comment on how children could grow up in fear of things happening to them which in all probobility will not, and missing out on the fun of building dens, damming streams or pretending discover new countries which are in fact a few scrubby bushes.

Debbie J · 31-08-2005, 07:07

Garinda I see your point. But until we know where dangerous people live it isn't safe to let kids out late. Not only for this reason but I for one would not be happy in a few years time, to find the police on my doorstep with my child either drunk or having caused damage somewhere due to peer pressure or boredom!

Up to the age of 12, when my Dad died, I was not allwed out even in the summer holidays after 6.30pm. If I did stay out (in the next street) I would have the embarassment and pain of Dad comming to find me! So to me I'm being quite lenient with my 7 year old

garinda · 31-08-2005, 11:57

I agree Debbie.

It's all very well for me to say children should have the same freedoms enjoyed by previous generations, but if anything did happen to a child you'd spend a lifetime regretting your actions, and wondering what if.

It's all very sad.

cashman · 31-08-2005, 13:03

It does seem a shame that the freedoms the previous generations enjoyed, to begin to explore the world, are being erroded. Are there really that many more dangers now than in years gone by, or are we just better informed of them because of an obsessive media? think there is obsessive media, but also think it IS more dangerous these days,in the worst case scenario in the old days a kid could maybe get a punch or a beating from a bully. there seeme to be far worse happening to children these days, yes theres always bin pervs,but these days it is far easier i think for them to contact kids,eg chatrooms,mobile texts ect,also these creeps havent as much to fear with a society full of doogooders, thats my twopennorth.