Sick of it - Page 2

SPUGGIE J · 14-02-2007, 21:40

This might read as below the belt.

If she is boozing the weekend away and has no food in for her child then she see's her child as a for of cash cow to fund her weekends. She then hopes that others will help because she went out. I say remove the child to a better set up.

I dont have anything against single parents as on the whole many are good but this is what happens when they think of themselves only.

Kitty I hope you slam the door in her face next time. Though myself I couldnt because I would put the child first regardless of the parents actions.

mrskitty · 14-02-2007, 21:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by SPUGGIE J

Kitty I hope you slam the door in her face next time. Though myself I couldnt because I would put the child first regardless of the parents actions.

Exactly-i dont ever refuse to provide stuff like food (the occasional meal/butty doesnt bother me) but i NEVER baby sit for her or any of my friends who ask if its cos there going out on the beer-unless its a mate who i know doesnt go out much.
One friend as much as i like her (shes lovely as a person but not lovely IMO as a parent) i refuse to babysit EVER cos she asked me to have her 3 week old whilst she went out on the beer with her fella (not her babys dad).
I didnt let anyone have Jack till he was 4 months-even then it was for 2 hours-prob why i ended up having post natal depression though!
After that my friend who took him has not had him since because she fed him tomatoe ketchup (i didnt feed him anything till he was 6 months old).I had no worries about telling her and even now she tells me shes upset she cant look after him like i looked after her daughter but i always say why.
Really im a over-protective mother but its better than neglecting him.

accymel · 14-02-2007, 21:55

Its not just single parents this instance happens, one of my x friends were a married couple & they took the preverbial out of me - always on the cadge off me [yet had more income than me!!!] even food & stuff, money paid back if i was lucky late or not bothered, tho emotional blackmail with their kiddies alway got the better of me, till i realised i was doing them no favours anyway, because i'd always bailed them out. Soon realised this game & put an end to it by saying NO, so they had to do without whatever & look to themselves to sort their own budgets out - but alas was the type of people to find someone else to leech off but least it wasn't me from then on!!

Do not be a mug for this type of person!!! The longer u do this the more she will take especially using the kid to do it before u know it ou'll find it hard to say owt or stop - till that last straw creeps up. If she asks again in any way like this then say no, if your concern is the child then it is really upto SS to deal with that im afraid.

I have good friends that i help out no problems & they help me too [2 way street], as it should be

Harsh as it sounds but from experience!!

WillowTheWhisp · 14-02-2007, 22:10

I have no problem with the idea of someone wanting to go out and enjoy themselves and if they have a child or even a young baby to get someone to baby sit for them when they go out. All people are different and some people can cope with looking after a baby full time and never having a break but some people can't and end up resenting the child (even a much loved child) who takes up all of their time and attention. To some just a short break on their own or with their OH is the battery recharger that keeps them going.

However, that doesn't have to mean spending all their money and then not knowing where the next meal is coming from. To me the child must come first, especially when it comes to something as basic as food. I too would be pretty miffed at someone scroungeing meals and then telling me all about their great night out.

SPUGGIE J · 14-02-2007, 22:14

Not putting the child first should be classed as neglect. I am a soft sod the way Accymel was but sadley I dont think I could turn them away.

mrskitty · 14-02-2007, 22:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by WillowTheWhisp

I have no problem with the idea of someone wanting to go out and enjoy themselves and if they have a child or even a young baby to get someone to baby sit for them when they go out.

I agree willow but when its every weekend plus sometimes not just alcohol,enough is enough.

SPUGGIE J · 14-02-2007, 22:30

Good point.

accymel · 14-02-2007, 22:34

Im lucky to get once a month for accyweb meet but it gives me rest of weeks to look forward to it LOL!! I appreciate it more when it comes

cashman · 14-02-2007, 23:27

miss kitty your only young i know,but don,t let this person take you for a ride and keep stum, tell her straight! its NOT being nasty or smug, and the end of the day it may just do the child more good if she actually listens. you could always feed the child next time and tell her sorry,i,m a single mum too.drink less and feed yourself i have too.

SPUGGIE J · 14-02-2007, 23:32

Quote:

Originally Posted by cashman

miss kitty your only young i know,but don,t let this person take you for a ride and keep stum, tell her straight! its NOT being nasty or smug, and the end of the day it may just do the child more good if she actually listens. you could always feed the child next time and tell her sorry,i,m a single mum too.drink less and feed yourself i have too.

Words of wisdom.

WillowTheWhisp · 14-02-2007, 23:35

Quote:

Originally Posted by misskitty

I agree willow but when its every weekend plus sometimes not just alcohol,enough is enough.

Yes, that's why I said the child must come first, and that I too would be miffed at someone scrounging meals off me and then telling me all about their great night out.

jackyalex · 15-02-2007, 10:09

Quote:

Originally Posted by misskitty

Today someone i know came round for a brew/chat.She asked me if i could make her and her daughter (2)something to eat because she had no money for food and nothing at all in the cupboards.fair enough-i dont mind helping people,shes a single mum like me and i know for a fact she doesnt get any maintenance money for her daughter.I was fine with all this until over our meal she started telling me how she had gone out last friday down Accy and saturday round Blackburn-on the lash.
So theres me feeding a little girl cos her mum didnt have a penny-but had enough to go drinking.
Its women like this that give people like me (as a single parent who is not working) a bad name.Im no angel-since i became single i go out as much as i can-IF all my bills are paid and Jack has everything he needs + a bit extra.
I felt like smacking her.
More than once.

Rant over.

at least you know your doing a good job with your son,its hard to watch a child grow up with a parent that is more interested in having a good time than feeding their child,you did a good thing by feeding the child because they might not have had anything to eat otherwise,if it happens again i would try and make him/her feel guilty,i know its hard when its a friend but if you dont say something he/she might just keep coming round and asking for food he/she could end up relying on you and others to feed their family,

grego · 15-02-2007, 12:13

Its totally beyond me how anyone can put drink or whatever before feeding their child, I wouldn't have been able to keep my mouth shut about it, I'm boiling over just reading this thread, I'm afraid if it was a regular occurence then I would contact SS, that child deserves better! She's no friend Miss Kitty believe me, a friend wouldn't put you in that position.