Some things to consider about Christmas

Acrylic-bob · 29-11-2004, 09:39

An engineer speaks on Christmas...

1) No known species of reindeer can fly. But it is estimated that there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer, which only Santa has ever seen.

2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. But since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to the Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house.

Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull ten times the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy, per second,.each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

WillowTheWhisp · 29-11-2004, 09:53

But A-b you are forgetting that Santa and his reindeer are magical.

Mind you, your theories may account in part for the strange glow associated with Rudolph's nose.

vorlon24 · 29-11-2004, 10:26

But Rudolph is not one of Santa's reindeer...

vorlon24 · 29-11-2004, 10:30

The complete list:

Dasher
Dancer
Prancer
Vixen
Comet
Cupid
Donner
Blitzen

Acrylic-bob · 29-11-2004, 11:14

There's no answer to that!

vorlon24 · 29-11-2004, 11:41

Did you also know that Coca Cola are responsible for Santa's red suit?

WillowTheWhisp · 29-11-2004, 12:56

I have seen some Victorian type Father Christmases in green but thought that the red suit went back before Coca Cola's time. How long has Coke existed then?

My daughter used to think there was one reindeer called Olaf. Apparently he was the one who used to laugh at Rudolph and call him names.

pendy · 29-11-2004, 13:31

Santa is quantum. It's official.

Less · 29-11-2004, 13:54

Quote:

Originally Posted by vorlon24

But Rudolph is not one of Santa's reindeer...

If Father X would require 214,200 reindeer the law of averages means @ least one of them must be called Rudolph!
:e19:

I am refering to him as Father X because somewhere in the world, there will be a set of parents just a little overprotective & they would call on the authorities to prosecute this old stranger that breaks into childrens houses & leaves them pressies! (Ho, Ho, Ho!).

vorlon24 · 29-11-2004, 14:11

Quote:

Originally Posted by WillowTheWhisp

I have seen some Victorian type Father Christmases in green but thought that the red suit went back before Coca Cola's time. How long has Coke existed then?

My daughter used to think there was one reindeer called Olaf. Apparently he was the one who used to laugh at Rudolph and call him names.

I got this from a website:

Quote:

Haddon Sundblom was born in 1899. Before he drew Santa Claus in 1931, people thought Santa looked like some kind of leprechaun or a cross between a gnome and a bishop. That doesn't paint a pretty picture. Coca-Cola wanted someone friendlier drinking their product so they hired Haddon Sundblom to come up with a new image. Haddon Sundblom's Santa is still a well-known figure today.

Margaret Pilkington · 29-11-2004, 15:26

How comw that Christmas approaches in stockinged feet???? it seems ages away and then lo and behold it is breathing down your neck......is that part of the magic too?

Margaret Pilkington · 29-11-2004, 15:27

How come that Christmas approaches in stockinged feet???? it seems ages away and then lo and behold it is breathing down your neck......is that part of the magic too?

Acrylic-bob · 29-11-2004, 18:59

>>How come that Christmas approaches in stockinged feet???? <<

Interesting image, Margaret.

vorlon24 · 29-11-2004, 19:07

Quote:

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

How come that Christmas approaches in stockinged feet???? it seems ages away and then lo and behold it is breathing down your neck......is that part of the magic too?

I wouldn't call it magic.

I would call it the onset of blind panic, when you realise that it's Christmas Eve and you haven't got anybody's presents yet!!!

Yes, I've been there, done that.

Christmas Eve in Brighton is not particularly fun, as you can't move for people...

Less · 29-11-2004, 19:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by vorlon24

I wouldn't call it magic.

I would call it the onset of blind panic, when you realise that it's Christmas Eve and you haven't got anybody's presents yet!!!

...

Ah, yes been there ignored the t-shirt, if (& it does take alot of determination), but if you can resist the urge to do that last minute shopping, then turn up to where you were invited for christmas day, just bluff it out. Eventually the people you are with will convince themselves that you did give them a 'pressie' & because they can't in all honesty remember what it was....... they will feel guilty & ask you back for next year.

However the people that did spend time & bought something that was absoultely useless will be remembered & NOT invited next year!