The happiest day of your life

[Acrylic-bob]

I have a friend (I know, it surprises me too) who is PP at St Mary Magdalen in Brighton. Fr. Ray Burke has a blog and is in the habit of occaisionally posting pithy and thought provoking observations. Today's gem is this...

"The wedding season is over, in this parish there are no more until next year. Like most priests I am a bit ambiguous about weddings. I hate the excess, the whole "princess for a day" thing, the conspicuous expense and consumption, which in so many ways is a contradiction of the Gospel and which nowadays often causes even the devout to put off marriage until the can match the outlay of their friends.

My last wedding, I wasn't the celebrant, that was another priest, I was the registrar, was a delightful contrast to the hullabaloo of most weddings. There was no music, no flowers, apart from us two priests, there was the couple and two witnesses. The reception was in a local pub, yes there were a few bottles of champagne and a few extra friends turned up, the wedding breakfast consisted of pizza from the pub menu.

For the couple, the highlight of the whole thing was kneeling before the priest to receive the nuptial blessing."

Fr Ray Blake's Blog

Not for the first time, it made me think. How much of what is really important and valuable in life have we lost in our headlong rush into the commercialisation of almost everything that we do? Or am I just being too old fashioned and reactionary for my own good?

[Ken Moss]

Not at all, in fact that style of wedding is frequently more enjoyable for all concerned.

I record around 25-30 weddings per year and the ones on a smaller scale are always more down-to-Earth and friendly whereas some of the more expensive functions can sometimes be a little unwelcoming and stuffy.

I've done two minimalist weddings this year very much as you've described and they were both lovely, no great expense and everyone was able to relax without feeling obliged to spend a fortune.

Still, the wedding season in Lancashire must be quite different to Brighton as I've got several booked each month all year round.

[Acrylic-bob]

It was the last sentence of Fr Ray's posting that got me thinking. There seemed something more authentic and genuine in it. I had the instinctive feeling that the wedding he talks about was one that would last. St Mary's is a very small parish which would probably account for the discrepancy, alongside it being a seasonal town.

[Tealeaf]

It sounds like that last wedding of Fr Burke's was a sham job between a Latvian and a Nigerian.

[gynn]

Originally Posted by Acrylic-bob

For the couple, the highlight of the whole thing was kneeling before the priest to receive the nuptial blessing."

That has got to be the most important part. If they consider any other part of the day to be MORE important, they have their priorities wrong.

One of the most enjoyable weddings I ever went to was a low key affair with the reception held in the local Wetherspoons.

[jaysay]

The last time I got wed it cost about £300 and that was too flaming much

[Benipete]

Originally Posted by jaysay

The last time I got wed it cost about £300 and that was too flaming much

Mine was £20-00.Having said that there wasn't much meat In't potato pie.

Of course the words wedding and Brighton don't appear to go well in the same sentence.

[Margaret Pilkington]

My Wedding, though not in a church was one of frugality.
I chose an oatmeal suit......something practical that I could wear over and over again(and did) for my outfit.......my corsage was donated by a friend......it cost 17shillings and sixpence to get married....£2 for the taxi to the register office(and we all went in the one taxi..five of us).....our wedding feast if you could call it that, was lancashire cheese butties, battenburg cake and a bottle of sparkling wine left over from a friends wedding.

44 years on, we are still together. It isn't all about the big show, it is about the feelings you have for each other and the committment you make. If I could go back and have all the finery....well, I wouldn't.

[Miaowzinzara]

My hubby spent 9K... HE wanted all the extras!! but saying that it was a wonderful day and the people we invited said they had never been to a nicer wedding. It took place in a county club rather than church and the highlight was the uninvited ladybird that had got trapped under my veil and i thought it was a spider crawling down my neck!! hehehe... memories x

[cashman]

Nowt wrong at all wi a big fancy wedding, if thats what floats yer boat n providing yeh can afford it, i certainly couldn't, too many go in debt fer all the trappings n that to me is stupidity, mine was a church, but a cheapo, we thought there was far more important stuff to spend the dough on, like furniture mostly second hand, n deposit fer n house, it worked fer us, nearly 30 yrs, until she croaked,happiness don't come in material things,never will. imho.

[Benipete]

I could have written that story Cashy.

Sad but true.

[BERNADETTE]

Agree with Cashy and MargaretP on this, so much is lost in trying to compete with friends for the most expensive of everything. People are going into debt (as if they aren't in enough already) to pay for a showcase. Like everything else these days there is no thought put into paying off the debt IMHO. Such a shame really, a smaller affair could have more significance as both Cashy and MargaretP's stories highlight. Just a shame todays generation can't see past the need to have the most flashy wedding going. At the end of the day love and mutual respect bind you together as a couple.

[garinda]

Originally Posted by Tealeaf

It sounds like that last wedding of Fr Burke's was a sham job between a Latvian and a Nigerian.

It does seem a bit obscene, to spend twenty thousand pounds, or over, on one day's celebration.

Some of the most lovely, most moving weddings I've attended have been done on a shoestring.

Others I've been to, which were more lavish weddings, the couples are still paying for, when they split up.

True love costs nowt.

[jaysay]

Originally Posted by garinda

True love costs nowt.

On your wedding day its always true love G, its what happens a few years down the line, there's a lot to be said for, as they called it in the old days, living over the brush

[Margaret Pilkington]

Nowadays John it is called living over the hoover!