Things that make you go "uh?" - Page 2

WillowTheWhisp · 10-03-2005, 08:53

Thanks Park. The staff member in question, the mentor in my original post will apparently be leaving the school soon. I presume there will be someone else taking over, hopefully someone who will look at the causes of a problem rather than trying to whitewash over them as a solution.

It wouldn't stop the bully bullying the other children if my daughter left. It would simply re-inforce her belief that bullying works, which won't really solve anything. I have a friend whose first approach to any problem has always been to change her childrens' school. This hasn't done them any good either in the long term. They all have problems with learning now and had difficulty settling in to each new school which has affected their social skills.

Life is full of problems and you can't just solve them by running away.

Thankfully my daughter does have other friends at home and at church, enjoys a mid-week youth group and her dance classes so these girls at school aren't the be all and end all as the bully probably likes to think. However, I shall be keeping a wary eye on things.

park381 · 10-03-2005, 09:00

Quote:

Originally Posted by WillowTheWhisp

Thanks Park. The staff member in question, the mentor in my original post will apparently be leaving the school soon. I presume there will be someone else taking over, hopefully someone who will look at the causes of a problem rather than trying to whitewash over them as a solution.

It wouldn't stop the bully bullying the other children if my daughter left. It would simply re-inforce her belief that bullying works, which won't really solve anything. I have a friend whose first approach to any problem has always been to change her childrens' school. This hasn't done them any good either in the long term. They all have problems with learning now and had difficulty settling in to each new school which has affected their social skills.

Life is full of problems and you can't just solve them by running away.

Thankfully my daughter does have other friends at home and at church, enjoys a mid-week youth group and her dance classes so these girls at school aren't the be all and end all as the bully probably likes to think. However, I shall be keeping a wary eye on things.

Hi, have just added another link to my previous post, know it's a very difficult situation

Acrylic-bob · 10-03-2005, 09:52

I posed the question while ago of whether phrase "In Loco Parentis" still had any currency within the education system. Clearly it appears, from Willow's posts and other threads, that the concept is fast going out of fashion, along with common sense and any understanding of what might constitute a reasonable method of equipping our young to handle the challenges which life directs at them.

While studying for my degree I shared a campus with others who were studying to be teachers, in sports and various other disciplines. The numbers of B.Ed students I encountered who were racist, bigotted, socially inadequate or just plain mad, horrified me. After three years in their company I left with the determination that, if I ever had children of my own, the very last people I would ever allow them to come into contact with would be teachers.

It is said that we remember good teachers all of our lives and that their effect on us has a profound and far reaching impact on our lives. Good teachers are rare. Bad teachers, on the other hand, are far more common, indeed they are ten a penny. But their effect on developing minds is scarcely any less profound or far reaching.

My advice, Willow, would be to complain - Loud and Long! Demand explanations. Demand action. These people are, supposedly, acting as parents to your children in your absence. You have a right to expect that they will guard your children in the same way that you yourself would.

Tealeaf · 10-03-2005, 10:09

[QUOTE=
The numbers of B.Ed students I encountered who were racist, bigotted, socially inadequate or just plain mad, horrified me. After three years in their company I left with the determination that, if I ever had children of my own, the very last people I would ever allow them to come into contact with would be teachers.

.[/QUOTE]
You know the old saying, A-B..."Those who can do, those who can't teach"

Acrylic-bob · 10-03-2005, 10:24

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach. Those who can't teach,
counsel. Those who can't counsel, administrate. Those who can't
administrate, enter data into the computer. Those who can't enter data
into the computer, take dictation. Those who can't take dictation,
alphabetize files. Those who can't alphabetize files, answer the phone.
Those who can't answer the phone, fry hamburgers. Those who can't fry
hamburgers, run the cash register. Those who can't run the cash register,
wait on tables. Those who can't wait on tables, carry dishes to the
kitchen. Those who can't carry dirty dishes to the kitchen, wash the dirty
dishes. Those who can't wash the dirty dishes, peel potatoes.
Those who can't peel potatoes, buff the floor. Those who can't buff the
floor, haul out the garbage. Those who can't haul out the garbage, write
poetry. Those who can't write poetry, write clever letters to the editor.
Those who can't write clever letters to the editor, write angry letters to
the editor. Those who can't write angry letters to the editor, spray paint
graffiti. Those who can't spray paint graffiti, write screenplays. Those
who can't write screenplays, write TV scripts.
Those who can't write TV scripts, read scripts for the studios. Those
who can't read scripts for the studios, act. Those who can't act, take
acting classes. Those who can't take acting classes, sing. Those who
can't sing, sing Rock 'N' Roll. Those who can't sing Rock 'N' Roll, sing
it anyway. Those who can't sing it anyway, become depressed. Those who
can't become depressed, get bitter. Those who can't get bitter, get
confused. Those who can't get confused, stay confused. Those who stay
confused, find it difficult to complete unfinished sentences. Those who
find it difficult to complete unfinished sentences, ____________________.

Acrylic-bob · 10-03-2005, 10:57

Or, perhaps...

"Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach, and those who can't teach, teach education."

(Nicolas Martin)

Or how about this little gem from Aristotle, writing in the 5th century BC.....

"Those who educate children well are more to be honored than parents, for these only gave life, those the art of living well."

Smiffy16 · 10-03-2005, 12:25

someone got done for burping

pendy · 10-03-2005, 12:40

Willow, if you get no joy from the head, go to one of the governors. There is a list of governors, with addresses and sometimes contact numbers, held at the school, and you have an absolute right to have that. In fact, it should be circulated every year with the governors' report to parents. There should be at least two parent governors, who would probably be the best to approach.

Sadly, my son (although tall and hefty) was bullied at school, verbally and very nastily, by a smaller but evil-minded boy in the same year. We tried all the usual methods, approaching the school, discussing it, etc, but it still went on. It finally ended when the bully went too far, Miles picked him up by his shirt front, held him against a wall, and said "You see what I could do to you if I chose?". Bully burst into tears, and never bullied much again. Unfortunately, sometimes this is the only way to get a result. I don't recommend it necessarily, but it does work. It worked for me in the school playground at the age of 5, when a much bigger girl got me into a corner and proceeded to hit me. I went mad, and punched and kicked her very hard. She ran off howling. No more bullying. It does sometimes bring home to the bully what it is like to be on the receiving end - bullies are usually pretty inadequate anyway, and thus are easily taken down with the right method.

JohnW · 10-03-2005, 14:08

I agree Pendy, sometimes, if all else fails, standing up to the bully is the only way. I remember at a very tender age (maybe 8 years) being repeatedly bullied by one kid at school even though I tried to be friendly with him. In the end, I gave him a bloody good hiding. I'll never forget the incredulous look on his face when I gave him the first smack. No more problems after that.

Sara · 10-03-2005, 14:36

Definately go to the governers. Have had a problem myself ongoing since beginning of February, finally had enough this week (Monday) when i couldn't even get pass the office to the heads secratary. So i politely said to the receptionist that if i hadn't spoken with the head or the problem resolved by Tuesday lunch i was then going to contact the chair of governers. At 8.40am Tuesday morning had a phone call from school, problem solved. Coincidance or what?

wayneyboy1942 · 10-03-2005, 16:04

In my job I go to elderly people, some of them were bullied years and years ago,but are still upset by it,I hate bullies and hope anyone that is one gets bullied themselves one day just to see what it's like,good luck in trying to sort it out! PS work place bulling also goes on and so it's not just confind to kids.

garinda · 10-03-2005, 16:50

ls anybody here brave enough to admit to bullying? We can't all have been victims to it, or bystanders.
Are bullies bullied themselves, and they find the power it gives them fills a deep void? Like l mentioned before, l know quite a few people l considered bullies at school, who are now great people, [apperently,] and have children of their own.
l know it's a bit off thread but is sort of related.

park381 · 10-03-2005, 17:24

Quote:

Originally Posted by garinda

ls anybody here brave enough to admit to bullying? We can't all have been victims to it, or bystanders.
Are bullies bullied themselves, and they find the power it gives them fills a deep void? Like l mentioned before, l know quite a few people l considered bullies at school, who are now great people, [apperently,] and have children of their own.
l know it's a bit off thread but is sort of related.

No, but I think you will find that a bully on his/her own is no longer a bully,but a bully with his/her followers behind him/her is a bully. So the secret is to get the bully on his/her own and confront them.

garinda · 10-03-2005, 17:33

Agreed. l'm not saying l was a goody-goody, [l wasn't, l just never got caught,] but l can honestly say l didn't knowingly bully anyone. l probably upset other kids, but when you've seen bullying l always felt l should try to stand up and stop it.

After all, bullies are someones kids and we might not know if they are bullies or being bullied. My Mum is ashamed to remember she was horrible to a girl at school, and they're now good friends.

pendy · 10-03-2005, 17:36

I admit I was horrid to one of the girls at school - and she was supposed to be my friend! I am ashamed of it now, and would love to see her to apologise. Thinking about it, I don't know why I did it, I did actually rather like her. Perhaps it's just trying out roles, etc .... But I never ganged up on anyone or incited anyone else to do so.