To be married or not to be married..... - Page 2

cashman · 30-11-2011, 10:07

As yeh get older yeh weigh things up n yer better off unmarried FACT, a max single pension times 2 is worth far more than a married pension, so it dont take einstein to work out does it?

grannyclaret · 30-11-2011, 10:15

answering the question on the first post,,,,YES ITS A SHAME,,,,,,in my day there was romance first ,then when you were sure you had met the right person,you got married,,,now its lets have a baby so we can get an house,,,,then you find your not compatable at all...but hey who am i to put the world to rights... ..............

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grannyclaret · 30-11-2011, 10:18

Quote:

Originally Posted by groove

Groove thinks marriage is just a legally binding piece of paper........his wife is buried under the new garage. He plays pool 3 feet above her daily.

Bully for Groove,,,,What ever turns you on..

jaysay · 30-11-2011, 10:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by grannyclaret

answering the question on the first post,,,,YES ITS A SHAME,,,,,,in my day there was romance first ,then when you were sure you had met the right person,you got married,,,now its lets have a baby so we can get an house,,,,then you find your not compatable at all...but hey who am i to put the world to rights... ..............

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Well when I got wed the first time GC, I didn't have too many options really with a 12 bore stuck up my backside held by my father-in-law to be

susie123 · 30-11-2011, 10:48

Quote:

Originally Posted by cashman

As yeh get older yeh weigh things up n yer better off unmarried FACT, a max single pension times 2 is worth far more than a married pension, so it dont take einstein to work out does it?

That's what I like - practicality. Well said Cashy.

We've been together 35 years and counting, never got round to getting the piece of paper. If we had decided to have children it might have been different, but today even that doesn't seem to matter. Actually I think the strength of the relatiionship is what matters and if you need a piece of paper and a big day to prove it then it may need some working at.

Having said all that I have read all Margaret P's blogs about her wedding day and I envy her having found the right man and going ahead with the wedding on a shoestring. It took me a lot longer to settle down!

As she said, marriage is not about money. Weddings are, but then that's only one day in a whole life.

MargaretR · 30-11-2011, 10:54

I had two marriages - 11yrs and 8yrs - then a 'living together' which lasted 17yrs.
Some people say 'You never found the right one'.
I say that I am not wasting any more time looking for rocking horse poo.

jaysay · 30-11-2011, 11:09

Quote:

Originally Posted by MargaretR

I had two marriages - 11yrs and 8yrs - then a 'living together' which lasted 17yrs.
Some people say 'You never found the right one'.
I say that I am not wasting any more time looking for rocking horse poo.

Could it not just be that three blokes were right Margaret

Margaret Pilkington · 30-11-2011, 11:15

I think there are many people who focus on the wedding rather than the relationship.

I really don't mind what other people do in their relationships, but to me, it was important to be married.
Marriage has become disposable like many other things in life today........let's get married...if it doesn't work then we can get divorced. That seems to be the attitude of those who do get married today.........and it means that when they hit trouble they don't bother to try and work it out.....because there is an easy(or so it might seem at first glance) exit. Any relationship, takes work by both parties......some people will give it up rather than do the maintenance.

When my sister and her boyfriend started living together, my father went nuts and I defended her saying that although they were living in the same house it didn't mean they were sharing the same bed.....I told him that it was his bad mind.

One of the nurses I worked with also came to me(quite sheepishly) to tell me that she was moving in with her boyfriend.....and that she wanted to tell me before I heard it from anyone else.....she said she didn't want me to think badly of her. I don't know why she would think that I would think badly of her.
My morals are mine.....I don't expect other people to live by my values...which are old fashioned. If I were single today and of marriageable age I would do nothing different.

MargaretR · 30-11-2011, 11:20

Quote:

Originally Posted by jaysay

Could it not just be that three blokes were right Margaret

You falsly presume that they were the ones who ended it

groove · 30-11-2011, 11:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by grannyclaret

Bully for Groove,,,,What ever turns you on..

Chill your been GC.....good result last neyt

jaysay · 30-11-2011, 11:29

Quote:

Originally Posted by MargaretR

You falsly presume that they were the ones who ended it

Ya but us blokes are such sensitive souls, how do you know they didn't saying Thank God For That, hadn't the heart to tell her earlier

PS. falsly ain't spelt right its falsely

Margaret Pilkington · 30-11-2011, 12:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eric

.... however, I would like to hear more about the underwear

Don't think it would have started any flames in any hearts Eric....'twas like most things in my life, chosen because it was utilitarian and value for money......not frilly, 'trousseau like' at all.

We hadn't much money, and what we did have, was spent wisely.

Margaret Pilkington · 30-11-2011, 12:26

Quote:

Originally Posted by cashman

As yeh get older yeh weigh things up n yer better off unmarried FACT, a max single pension times 2 is worth far more than a married pension, so it dont take einstein to work out does it?

I have my own pension Cashy......I contributed all my life...and I would guess that a lot of women of my era are the same......
Being married isn't about money.

I am not sentimental about committment either. I would never advocate that people stay togethr for the children....all that this does, is give children the wrong idea of how a marriage should be.....neither do I think that someone should stay in an abusive relationship.
I think it is sad that people feel it is no longer necessary to get married, even when children come along. You can make a baby with someone but still not be sure enough about the person you are living with, to get married - how does that work?
As I said in a previous post, I have old fashioned morals and values.......I can't change them, nor would I want to.

Less · 30-11-2011, 12:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

I really don't mind what other people do in their relationships, but to me, it was important to be married.

Yes, it was important to you, possibly without marriage your relationship wouldn't have worked, being married gave you and no doubt your husband an added bond & the security you required from making that commitment.
Whether people go for a legal piece of paper or prefer to live, 'over the brush', it will only last with hard work, compromise, the ability to laugh at, (and live with), each others failings & to put as much effort into keeping your partner as happy as you can.

Margaret Pilkington · 30-11-2011, 12:35

Less, you are right. Without marriage there would have been no relationship at all.

We have, like all other married and unmarried people in long term relationships, had our ups and downs....and it isn't just the piece of paper that keeps us together....it is the caring for one another....the companionship.
Sometimes I don't like the man....and I am sure that he feels the same about me.....(I must infuriate the hell out of him).....but when all is said and done I love the bones of him. Our lives would have been so much poorer had we not met and married.