To be married or not to be married.....

heth · 30-11-2011, 03:32

Well today it was made official, more than half of the adults in the UK are not married.

Do you think this is a shame or does it not bother you one way or another that people are not married.

I personally am not married but have been with some-one now for quite a while.

The reason why we aint married is prob to do with money and also I havent been asked yet!!!

Eric · 30-11-2011, 03:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by heth

Well today it was made official, more than half of the adults in the UK are not married.

Do you think this is a shame or does it not bother you one way or another that people are not married.

I personally am not married but have been with some-one now for quite a while.

The reason why we aint married is prob to do with money and also I havent been asked yet!!!

I think that we live in a time when marriage and family have redefined themselves ... and they have done it outside of traditional authorities such as the state and the church.

Interesting that you should say that you are not married ... but that you are in a long term relationship

So you are saying, that without some "official" sanction what you have is not "marriage"

heth · 30-11-2011, 04:09

Well yeah I suppose we are in a way, just havent got the piece of paper to say it!

The thing that I think about is our older generation that are used to meeting someone falling in love and getting married were all part of life.

I know my Dad would love to walk me down the ailse as this is "what happened" in his day.

alan7554 · 30-11-2011, 05:36

you have got to get married sometime,you cant be happy all your life.

emamum · 30-11-2011, 07:56

being married is the same as not being married exept women have a new name to get used to

Margaret Pilkington · 30-11-2011, 08:09

Heth.....not having been asked is your main 'problem'........you could always do the asking

.
The excuse that getting married it about money is daft.
If you wanted to be married then you would be. You don't have to spend a lot to get married. If you want the big'Princess' style day....then yes, that is expensive.
You could always save up if that is what you wanted to do.....or you could have a small family centred ceremony which costs far less.

I have been married for 45 years.........The wedding cost 17shillings and sixpence(registry office)....the taxi fare to Haslingden(we caught the bus back)......My outfit was bought at C&A and the whole thing including underwear cost £12.
Someone gave us a bottle of Sparkling wine....our wedding feast consisted of cheese butties, battenburg cake and a glass of the sparkling stuff.
The suit I wore many times.
Being married isn't about the showy do....it is all about how you feel about one another and being committed to someone for the rest of your life.
Please don't think I am getting at you........I'm not. I'm just saying that if you both wanted to be married then you would/could and should do it.

Margaret Pilkington · 30-11-2011, 08:29

Oh I should say this is only my opinion.....I am sure there will be others who will give you their versions of the subject....and they will, of course, be different depending on their life experiences.

garinda · 30-11-2011, 08:33

'Cohabitation is fuelling the destruction of the family while separations and divorces have brought suffering and loneliness. Catholic couples should not set up home together before marriage.'

Said the Pope yesterday.

Speaking on behalf of all the priests in the U.K. who are included in these new figures, and who of course aren't married....hopefully.

It's official: More than half of adults in the UK are not married as changing face of the UK's relationships is revealed | Mail Online

groove · 30-11-2011, 08:48

Groove thinks marriage is just a legally binding piece of paper........his wife is buried under the new garage. He plays pool 3 feet above her daily.

gynn · 30-11-2011, 08:59

Quote:

Originally Posted by garinda

separations and divorces have brought suffering and loneliness.

What about the suffering of people stuck in marriages to people they can no longer stand?

Marriage is great while the partners love each other, but how many marriages are kept going "for the sake of the kids" or because religious pressures prevent them separating?

I know plenty of thoroughly miserable married people.

garinda · 30-11-2011, 09:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by gynn

What about the suffering of people stuck in marriages to people they can no longer stand?

Marriage is great while the partners love each other, but how many marriages are kept going "for the sake of the kids" or because religious pressures prevent them separating?

I know plenty of thoroughly miserable married people.

I agree, I was quoting a statement from the Vatican, issued yesterday.

Years ago, when only the wealthy could afford to divorce, many people simply vanished, to escape marriages they no longer wanted to be part of.

At least today, on the whole, children still have relationships with both parents, if those parents divorce.

MargaretR · 30-11-2011, 09:34

Some people get sentimental about 'commitment', but it is just a legal contract - it can be cheap to sign up, but is likely to be very expensive to get out of.

Some argue that it provides 'security' for raising children.
Staying together 'for the sake of the children', or because of fear of reduced standards of living apart, is not my idea of living.

cashman · 30-11-2011, 09:45

Whilst i think marriage is preferable, its no big deal these days if yeh aint.

jaysay · 30-11-2011, 09:49

Well I've tried it twice and the only plus I got out of it was two great kids, Ive now been in a relationship for 22 years, never thought of getting married never lived full time together and it works for me, oh yes in that 22 years we've only had one argument and that was about my ex-wife

Eric · 30-11-2011, 09:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

Oh I should say this is only my opinion.....I am sure there will be others who will give you their versions of the subject....and they will, of course, be different depending on their life experiences.

And as usual, you state your opinion in a sensitive, sensible fashion (unless it's about leaving the EU, and then your passionate side shows

) .... however, I would like to hear more about the underwear