TRUE CONFESSIONS ,,(and nothing but the truth)....... - Page 3

fireman · 11-03-2005, 09:50

Did I say STICK I meant constructive criticism.

garinda · 11-03-2005, 09:56

l bet you'll want to keep your stick to yourself when you eventually meet me!

fireman · 11-03-2005, 10:00

And I've Just Found Out Why Thanks To Our Moderators Cheers!

pendy · 11-03-2005, 11:20

Okay, I will tell my awful tale ....

Some years ago, I had a bijou flingette with a chap in the Navy (well, they do say all the nice girls ...), whom I met on a course at York. He was based in Plymouth, and when he came to leave his ship, his men gave a party for him at a pub in Devonport, to which I was invited. We had been invited to spend the night with a friend of his and his girlfriend. The drink flowed copiously, sailors being what they are.

During the night, I got up to go to the loo. Never having been in this flat before, which had a very complicated layout, I wandered around, desperate to find the bathroom. I wandered into a couple of cupboards, round and about. Finally, in absolute desperation, I pee'd in the fishtank! - the owners pride and joy! Next morning, made my excuses, hared back to London, and have never dared ask what happened to the fish!

There you are - I've NEVER told anybody that before (not even my sailor)! It must be something about Accyweb ....

fireman · 11-03-2005, 12:39

Pendy you may never eat fish again, and you must apologie to every fish you see. DEAD OR ALIVE.

garinda · 11-03-2005, 13:07

Having met Pendy, l was expecting something far worse!
Pendy, a houseful of boozed up sailors, l think the fish got off lightly!

But it's a great thread, l've been howling.

Fireman you missed your way, you would have been a great priest!

pendy · 11-03-2005, 13:10

Look, Garinda, that is only ONE thing I've owned up to ..... the skeletons in the closet are so closely packed, they don't even rattle anymore!

fireman · 11-03-2005, 13:12

Come on pendy spill the bones, I mean the beans.

pendy · 11-03-2005, 13:21

Not deliberate, but I have from time to time suffered from pedobuccal syndrome (i.e. foot in mouth).

First time, aged about 12, I said loudly to a friend's ma at Prize Night "Oh, Hello, Mrs H - I didn't recognise you, didn't you have grey hair last time I saw you?".

Also old school reunion, I remarked on one of those gushing In Memoriams in the Observer, the sickly sentimental ones, and said how abysmal it was. Old school friend remarked "That was my father in law - we put it in".

Ooops!

lettie · 11-03-2005, 13:38

Pendy, the fishtank thing is ok, I was expecting far worse. I will, however, confess to just one more. This may be the worst thing I've ever done, but I wouldn't bet on it...

Here goes......

Several years ago when I was married. My hubby had gone to yet another all night party and left me indoors. Getting a bit brassed off with his gallivanting and refusal to ever tell me where he'd been (and realising that my culinary revenge wasn't exactly killing him off) I decided to hit him where it would hurt. He was very particular about his appearance and loved expensive aftershaves etc, he used to marinade in them. He had some Ralph Lauren Polo in a green bottle up in our bedroom. While he was out, I took a large syringe from my work bag and syphoned off half of the aftershave which I squirted down the loo. I replaced the missing aftershave with urine!!!!!!!!!!!!

A couple of weeks later we split up and I sent him back to his mother's house. I never confessed to my ex hubby what I had done, but over the years we have become friends. I met up with him while shopping about 18 months ago, so we had a brew and a catch up. I finally coughed to what I had done to his aftershave. He was cringing as he had used the full bottle after we split. He did see the funny side though...

All I can do now is beg forgiveness from my fellow sinners and pray to be absolved due to diminished responsibility.

garinda · 11-03-2005, 13:49

Lol, fab.
you're sprinkled with holy water [not by Ralph Lauren,] and absolved,

wayneyboy1942 · 11-03-2005, 15:29

Well I'm a very clean cut person!

and working for LCC for many years,I've never done anything that needs confessing to!

all I can say is that what people don't know won't hurt them! Sorry folks that's all yer getting!

shiny gem · 11-03-2005, 15:35

Quote:

Originally Posted by wayneyboy1942

Well I'm a very clean cut person!

and working for LCC for many years,I've never done anything that needs confessing to!

all I can say is that what people don't know won't hurt them! Sorry folks that's all yer getting!

lol...its ok i too am pure as snow!!!! although there may be a couple of footprints on me now!!!lol

g78 · 11-03-2005, 16:13

Most of my secrets are either extremely embarrassing or illegal, so on that note I shall be keeping my mouth well and truly closed. Of course if anyone wants to ply me with drink and try and prise them out of me, you are all welcome to go ahead and do so.

oldlass · 11-03-2005, 16:16

Quite a few years ago my friend was really mad at her husband, he didn't home to eat and she suspected he was out drinking. We were going out somewhere and drove by the bar that he frequented and sure enough there was his truck. We both knew when this man went drinking he wouldn't be going home util he was legless. My friend asked me to stop and I did. She got in the truck and drove it further back down the road, really further back down the road it must have been almost half a mile. I as the dutiful friend I followed to pick her up.

A couple of days later I was mortified when he told me what had happened and confided in me that he was so drunk he couldn't find his truck, he had wandered around for several hours, he was picked up by the police and spent a few hours in jail sleeping it off, then another few hours looking for his truck. He had not got home until until around 9am the next morning. He told his wife he had pulled an emergancy double shift at work.

He asked me not to tell his wife as she would be furious. I still feel bad about my part in the scheem but even worse at the laughter my friend and I have shared since then.