TRUE CONFESSIONS ,,(and nothing but the truth)....... - Page 6

lettie · 12-03-2005, 21:17

Hehehe, I have a teeny tiny work-related confession. In 1990 I was working as a staff nurse on nights at the Infirmary. I used to work on a surgical ward which was very busy with planned and emergency operations. One particular night I was on duty with a 2nd year student who was a bit of a pain (thought she knew it all) We had to go round all of the people for planned bowel surgery the following day and give them their bowel prep. There were 3 ways of doing this (depending on the severity of the op) The majority of our patients were having minor ops so we used to give them glycerin suppositories. The student had managed to get through her 1st year of training without ever giving a suppository, so with the help of a very kind male patient I arranged for her to give his suppositories......

She came with me to a patient to observe how suppositories were given then declared herself ready to carry out the task. She went to my 'prepped' patient and he obligingly rolled over and let her get on with it under my supervision. Several minutes later some of our patients were clearly having excellent results from the glycerin and the student was helping them to the toilets. I gave my 'prepped' patient a swab with 2 melted glycerin suppositories in the middle of it (I'd been preparing them on the hot radiator in the sluice for an hour) Suddenly my partner in crime started to cough uncontrollably, he pressed his call bell for assistance. The student went running to his bedside to help him. When I got to the bedside, he was recovered and she was mortified. She handed me the swab with the 2 melted glycerins on it, and told me that this man had coughed them up!!!!!!!
I could barely keep a straight face when I told her that she must have pushed them up too far

I did come clean later that night and suggested that if she had paid more attention when studying anatomy, she would have known that it is not physically possible to cough up the suppositories.. The good news was that she was a little less gung-ho after this lesson and has turned out to be an excellent nurse...

I think that I need to be forgiven for this one, as a good result was achieved in the end. I would also like to thank my partner in crime, who I cannot name for confidentiality reasons, but he reckoned he had the best stay in hospital ever!!!

fireman · 12-03-2005, 21:22

3 hail mary's Lettie and the next time you are constipated you must let nature take it's course with no outside help..........

fireman · 12-03-2005, 21:47

ok i admit it while on the site i dont wear clothes

West Ender · 12-03-2005, 22:00

Really? What do you wear then?

West Ender · 12-03-2005, 22:01

......apart from a big smile.

fireman · 12-03-2005, 22:09

Anything if it gets folk talkingX

garinda · 12-03-2005, 22:12

l'm off 4 a cold shower. Did u get to keep your helmet?

fireman · 12-03-2005, 22:14

Steady you I know something about you .

grannyclaret · 12-03-2005, 23:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a healthy imagination and a flair for embellishment.

did you ever read anne of green gables garinda.?now your mum sounds just like her !

rockrabbit · 13-03-2005, 08:27

This was definately an act of stupidity in my youth well aged about 18 , id been doing my driving lessons for a cpl of months and one night while my mum was abroad on holiday i noticed the keys to her two week old brand new car straight out of the showroom and for some crazy reason thought id go for a drive with a cpl of mates i came down lord st in ossy and for another crazy reason went down the one way street except a car was coming the opposite way . Both my mates jumped out of the car so obviously i panicked as they made it look like we d robbed a car by legging it off like that , i slammed it in reverse and went straight into the stone bollards on the town hall car park and wrote all the back end of the car off . Got a few mates round to help me push the car back in front of the front door and was hoping at the time to claim someone had run in the back of it apart from the car with the sta of it would have prob been in someones living room if it had have been hit that hard parked up . I sat there awake all night coming up with excuses as my mum was back the next day first one was that one of the mates who d done a runner and also has a driving license did it even though felt a bit tight and knew i wouldnt get away with that so rang mysister to tell her i was on my way to the hospital with bad whiplash injuries and give her a shortened view of what happened even though i wasnt going anywhere near the hospital both my mum and sister got worried that id done perminant damage with how bad the car was so i got away with just my mum banning me from my driving lessons for a while and thank god my dad never found out otherwise i may no longer be here

janet · 13-03-2005, 09:11

Excellent story lettie.

garinda · 13-03-2005, 13:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by grannyclaret

did you ever read anne of green gables garinda.?now your mum sounds just like her !

l did, l also was inspired to dye my hair and it went green just like hers!
l'd have been better off reading my Dad's old books instead of my Ma's!

pendy · 14-03-2005, 13:54

One I'm not ashamed of, but it is a great story! - Some years back, I was at an OU summer school at York University. The last night disco does occasionally (only occasionally for those who have a partner doing a course!!) to the odd spot of hanky panky. For some people, the realisation that they are grown up, away from home, and have a room of their own, does strange things ......

However, one couple got together at the disco and spent the night in his room. Unfortunately, her husband rang up at about 2 a.m. because one of their children had tonsillitis. The porter couldn't find her (obviously) and told the husband so. He loaded the children into the car and drove through the night from the West Country to York. He turned up at breakfast, found his wife, and instead of doing the sensible thing and telling him she had passed out in a female friend's room, she coughed the lot!

SO .... breakfast in the Refectory, in comes this chap bare-footed, in judo stance, asking for Colin P.... Fortunately Colin was not there. One of the tutors engaged him in conversation (with difficulty!) while some of us hared off to find Colin. Colin found, loaded in back of car with blanket over head, and driven off campus. Husband next seen haranguing the chambermaids, saying that he wanted the sheets as evidence!

We did think about having T-shirts printed for the following year - "I saved Colin P's life"......

fireman · 14-03-2005, 19:10

You ought to be ashamed of yourself what are our universities coming too. Its just sex drink and drugs at the expence of the tax payer. Things have changed... DAM BLAST BU--ER DAM HELL DAM!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh sorry.

pendy · 15-03-2005, 17:34

Ah, but Fireman, this was NOT at the expense of the taxpayer. This was an Open University Summer School - the poor s**s pay for themselves! - mind you, I think a lot of them think it is worth it, and not just for the academic achievement!

One year at York, some sadist organised a four legged race. This is a variation on the classic three legged race, except that you tie THREE people together at the knee and ankle. In this condition you have to make it round the campus, drink a pint in each of three college bars, and first back wins. Oh, it also includes negotiating the stepping stones across the lake. I ended up in the middle (of course). Not liking the look of the string/cord they were using, I volunteered several nylon stockings. SO - there I am, tied between two strapping hulks, charging round the campus, across the stepping stones, into the bars, slurp, out again, etc. All goes reasonably well until Martin, on my right, decides he wants a pee. A bit difficult to accomplish, but we managed.

We didn't win, but got an honourable mention. HOWEVER, what I had forgotten was how easily I bruise. I got home three days later, with purple welts around my knees and ankles. Husband said "My God, whatever happened to you?".

The explanation started with "Well, I spent the evening tied to these two men ......."