Turkey Giblets

[Acrylic-bob]

Aren't turkey giblets odd looking things? I know that you are supposed to simmer them with vegetables for stock. But really the smell is deeply unpleasant and anything more disgusting from which to make a soup would be difficult to imagine. So I was a bit stumped about what to do with the things. Acrylic-Biff, I knew from past experience, will have nothing to do with them. He is a most fastidious dog when it comes to victuals and viands; he knows what he likes and woe betide me if it is not provided in sufficient quantities at the specified times.

It was a chance remark from the Vicar of our parish Church, St None-the-Less, where the Acrylic household attended the traditional midnight winter multi-denominational celebration of niceness and not being nasty or spiteful to anyone. We were present to witness the finals of the festive Liturgical dancing competition, the sort of thing that only those who cannot help laughing out loud when reading of the death of Dickens' ' little Nell' would find amusing - these days one takes ones pleasures where one can find them, but I digress.

Said Vicar remarked that the depths of winter were traditionally a time for looking forward through the gloom of the season to the bright promise of spring. I found the remark unusually poetic, for him, considering his fanatical distaste for anything approaching English Lit. and so much less The Book of Common Prayer. Anyway it set me thinking, as Miss Taylor - Kahn and her class of four to seven year olds attempted to essay Stravinsky's Rite of Spring, ohh, my dear. The noise, and the people!

I could, I thought, use the offensive looking and evil smelling offal to attempt a scrying or divination like our ancestors of old. I would, I determined, forensically examine the Turkey's innards to see what they might reveal about the events of the year to come.
Here, in no particular order are my results.

My eye was initially drawn to the arrangement of veins surrounding the colon which suggested to me that:

HRH Prince William might actually begin to develop something of a real personality, as opposed to the plastic PC imitation one he currently adopts. Though the Monarchy will endure, I am still of the opinion that we will be spared the reign of William V. Sadly, I forsee that life has something unpleasant in store for the plastic Prince.

The economy will lurch suddenly to life with the arrival of the Spring Bank Holday, in such a spectacular fashion that the detestable french will be left spluttering and choking in the dust of our passage.

The Euro will not collapse and the Euro zone will not break up. The fudge and can-kicking will continue as the continent slowly bankrupts itself. European property prices will become so cheap that the deeds to holiday homes on the continent will be included with every box of breakfast cereal.

Nick Clegg will suffer something of an identity crisis as a result of the tensions engendered by trying to remain relevant while holding a Europhile position in the face of overwhelming common sense. He will announce that he is changing his name to Emmanuelle and will join a closed order of nuns, devoting the rest of his/her life to quiet reflection and the cultivation of an allotment high in the Pyrenees.

Following Paliamentary boundry changes, Hyndburn as a seat will cease to exist and voters of Accrington and surrounding districts will have to share their MP with one of the Hebredean Islands. Graham Jones will attempt to return to local politics but will be sent to Coventry instead.

The producers of the TV talent show 'X Factor' will become so desperate to attract some semblance of talent to the list of entrants for next year's show that they will relax entry requirements still further, permitting performing animals and inanimate objects to enter the competition for the first time. The eventual winner will be a double rooted carrot with a suggestive extra limb.

'Strictly' will require a certificate from the BBFC.

It is truly amazing what you can see in a pile of oddly shaped and vile smelling viscera when you look really closely. Obviously, in the unlikely event that any of these predictions should actually come to pass I shall take full credit. However, in the more likely event that the predictions are actually proved to be worth less than the giblets they were based on, I shall eschew all responsibility and blame Acrylic-Biff and the Gin.

Whatever happens in the coming year, the pooch and I wish you all good fortune, the company of friends and Hope.

Happy New Year!

[jaysay]

Seems a reasonable outlook does that Bob, especially the bit about Graham Jones

[Acrylic-bob]

I only hope Coventry is prepared.

[Margaret Pilkington]

Originally Posted by Acrylic-bob

The economy will lurch suddenly to life with the arrival of the Spring Bank Holday, in such a spectacular fashion that the detestable french will be left spluttering and choking in the dust of our passage.

I sincerely hope it will be the dust of our back passage.
Nothing would give me greater pleasure.
Thank you for the grin your post has pasted onto my chops........and Happy New Year to you and Acrylic Biff...glad you didn't give him the giblets...they were much better employed in scrying.

[Acrylic-bob]

Something else to look forward to this year, unless you are french that is, is the bicentenary of the retreat from Moscow. Another one of La belle France's military disasters. I am sure that our Russian cousins will enjoy the celebrations immensely.

Russia to celebrate bicentenary of 1812 victory on grand scale: Voice of Russia

something our own government might want to take notice of in their preparations for the bicentenary of Waterloo

[Gordon Booth]

Originally Posted by Acrylic-bob

Something else to look forward to this year, unless you are french that is, is the bicentenary of the retreat from Moscow. Another one of La belle France's military disasters. I am sure that our Russian cousins will enjoy the celebrations immensely.

Russia to celebrate bicentenary of 1812 victory on grand scale: Voice of Russia

something our own government might want to take notice of in their preparations for the bicentenary of Waterloo

Wouldn't it be nice in these dark days if we could have a celebration every month?
How about French defeats? They were fairly regular, we might even find one for every week.
Just a start-Crecy(Aug 26th), Agincourt(Oct 25th), Trafalgar(Oct 21st), Waterloo(June18th), Siege of Paris(started Sept 19th,get a second freeby for when they gave in,Jan 28th).
We could even invite Monsewer Sarkastic to come- just to cement our 'entente cordiale'.

[mobertol]

Originally Posted by Acrylic-bob

I could, I thought, use the offensive looking and evil smelling offal to attempt a scrying or divination like our ancestors of old. I would, I determined, forensically examine the Turkey's innards to see what they might reveal about the events of the year to come.
Here, in no particular order are my results.
Happy New Year!

In order to help you specialise further in Haruspicy I thought you might find the attached photo of the "Piacenza Liver" of use.

It is an Etruscan bronze found, not far from where I live, about 120 yrs ago - the liver of a sacrificial animal could be "read" by the Auspices - each section being related to a particular deity -the priest who performed such divination was called a bārû.

In the meantime "Happy New Year" to you and the rest of the Acrylic-household.

[lettie]

Happy New Year to you and the rest of the Acrylic household.
Although I have managed to resist the temptations of turkey giblets, I am not above examining placental tissue. I actually do this with alarming regularity. Sadly, I have been unable to determine any relevant prophecies from this tissue. This leads me to believe that I do not possess the relevant gift and maybe I should start on something a little less ambitious, such as, tealeaves.

Happy New Year

[Neil]

Originally Posted by lettie

This leads me to believe that I do not possess the relevant gift and maybe I should start on something a little less ambitious, such as, tealeaves.

Happy New Year

How does that work then? Do you have to sit in front of him and read the lines?

[Acrylic-bob]

Originally Posted by Neil

How does that work then? Do you have to sit in front of him and read the lines?

Have you been on the sarsaparilla drops again?

[jaysay]

Originally Posted by Acrylic-bob

Have you been on the sarsaparilla drops again?

Ya mean Romps as let him out

[Acrylic-bob]

Oh so it's just overexcitement is it? There will be tears before bedtime.

[jaysay]

Originally Posted by Acrylic-bob

Oh so it's just overexcitement is it? There will be tears before bedtime.

Ya you know how giddy Neil gets when he's let off the leash

[Acrylic-bob]

Originally Posted by jaysay

Ya you know how giddy Neil gets when he's let off the leash

She keeps him on a leash? No. Really? In Oswaldtwistle! Well, who would have thought it?

Mind you, it would explain a lot.

[jaysay]

Originally Posted by Acrylic-bob

She keeps him on a leash? No. Really? In Oswaldtwistle! Well, who would have thought it?

Mind you, it would explain a lot.

Well so I'm told Bob, maybe Romps can confirm that for us then Neil can deny it