Turning over a new leaf.

Acrylic-bob · 20-06-2005, 18:06

Stung and cut to the quick by previous comments regarding my efforts to get in training for when I achieve my pension book (for which, read, licence to be a crotchety old git). I have decided that I am going to try to turn over a new leaf.

Yes, that’s right readers, in future Acrylic-bob is going to try and show his “nice” face to Hyndburn and the world. I shall be packing the Good Book in one pocket and a copy of Patience Strong in the other. So all you negative thinkers out there had better watch out, there is a new force for good among you!

To get us off to a good start how about a song to cheer us all up…all together now campers!

“We come along on Saturday morning

Greeting everybody with a smile…”

Don’t know that one, having a hard time summoning up the will to join in and have some fun? Well never mind. I have plenty more to cheer you all up with in my big pink bag of happy things. Lets have a quick rummage and see what we can find.

Poor Lettie and Willow, they have been really upset lately over the piles of uncollected rubbish dumped in our streets. Cheer up girls! It’s not as bad as you think. I am sure that those lovely, helpful, dedicated people at HBC are working especially hard to get the problem solved for you. It isn’t their fault really you know. If people were a little more considerate and didn’t throw out so much rubbish or took it to the tip themselves there would be plenty of room in the bin wagons. Perhaps instead of moaning about the situation, which is not very good for your blood pressure, how about gathering your neighbours together and have a good old community sing-song and sweep up. That would bring you all together and you never know, you might just make a new friend! Wouldn’t that be lovely! Perhaps you could apply for lottery funding and turn it into a festival! Oh there’s gold around every corner, you just have to look for it. Now, Now Lettie. I don’t want to hear you muttering that you can’t see the gold for the piles of rubbish. That’s not the spirit dear, is it. Get your marigolds on luv and have a good root round.

What’s next on the happy list for today? Ahh, I know. Broadway. Oh do you remember when we were children and there were real shops on Broadway? You could get almost anything. From furniture to new soles for your shoes. There were fountains and colourful flower beds and plenty of benches you could sit on and soak up the sun in the summer. Oh wasn’t it wonderful! And I am sure it will be wonderful again. Just as soon as that nice Councillor Britcliffe and his hardworking colleagues can find the money to repair the damage. It must take years of really determined neglect for a main shopping street to get into the sorry state that Broadway is now and I am afraid that it may take many more years and an awful lot of money to bring it back to it’s former glory. But I have every confidence in Councillor Britcliffe, he is such a nice man, and he does try so. He is also quite fond of animals too, or so I am reliably informed, particularly white elephants and lame ducks. It must be dreadfully difficult being in charge of the council, with all those dinners, football matches and social events to attend. I often wonder how he finds the time to bother with our little problems. But find the time he does! A one man Hurricane. Every day with Councillor Britcliffe is like living through October 1987 all over again – what fun!

I am sure we are all jolly grateful to have someone who knows all the tricks, as our leader, I know I am! And I don’t think that it should bother us one bit that he has a completely different understanding of Arithmetic and Grammar to the rest of us. That is what diversity and inclusiveness is about after all; helping the differently abled to achieve their full potential with a responsible position in society, and it is quite right that he should claim all the benefits and allowances he is entitled to. He’s worth every penny, even if he does say so himself! So, here’s three cheers for the Idiot-in-Chief ! Hip-hip………? Oh well, suit yourself.

Well that’s me done for now, I’m off to vomit into a large enamel bucket.

.

harwood red · 20-06-2005, 18:09

<< passes spare enamel bucket to A-B>>

Gayle · 20-06-2005, 18:21

Who are you? And what have you done with the A-B we all know?

jpest1 · 20-06-2005, 18:26

Well done a-b. At least one person has something negatve to say about our illustrious leader.

Well I think thats what your calling him !!!

Sparkologist · 20-06-2005, 18:28

Whoa! steady on, A-B.

Have you been sniffing the 2-pack paint again? If you haven't, I can thoroughly recommend it.

lettie · 20-06-2005, 18:30

Have you been smoking pot A-B???

lindsay ormerod · 20-06-2005, 18:34

It's obviously sunstroke!

Acrylic-bob · 20-06-2005, 18:53

I'm trying to be NICE!

chav1 · 20-06-2005, 19:50

A.B

has just become public enemy No1

Acrylic-bob · 20-06-2005, 19:55

What's the reward for my capture? If it is big enough I might dob myself in.

fireman · 20-06-2005, 20:25

It won't last it's a pain being nice all the time !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Margaret Pilkington · 20-06-2005, 20:29

A-B.......what have you been taking.......it obviously doesn't agree with you and you should stop at ONCE.........it might be rotting your insides.

And speaking of PB.....AKA Idiot in chief.......does anyone know if he gets paid for the drivel he writes in the Observer...?