Underage Sex Is Not Paedophilia?? - Page 4

garinda · 21-11-2006, 16:25

Quote:

Originally Posted by jambutty

Lesbian or gay sex should be limited to consenting adults and that means at least 18 years of age. Even here I think that it should be 21.

So even though they may have been married and have had children, you'd prosecute at public cost, two twenty year old women that had a consensual relationship? Strange logic.

garinda · 21-11-2006, 16:30

These two women are twenty years old.

Are you suggesting public money should be spent prosecuting them and sending them to jail?

WillowTheWhisp · 21-11-2006, 16:35

Quote:

Originally Posted by jambutty

Lesbian or gay sex should be limited to consenting adults and that means at least 18

I'm a little confused about this age of consent thing. I mean someone can marry at 16 and legally have a child of 1 by the time they are 18 and yet they are not considered adult if they are gay or lesbian?

garinda · 21-11-2006, 17:34

Quote:

Originally Posted by WillowTheWhisp

I'm a little confused about this age of consent thing. I mean someone can marry at 16 and legally have a child of 1 by the time they are 18 and yet they are not considered adult if they are gay or lesbian?

The age of consent is now legally sixteen, regardless of sexual orientation.

There was never any legal age of consent for lesbians, as Queen Victoria didn't think it existed, when legislation was brought in to criminalise male homosexuality.

Doug · 21-11-2006, 17:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by garinda

These two women are twenty years old.

Are you suggesting public money should be spent prosecuting them and sending them to jail?

This is not aimed at you as such G.

I think, and I hope that this particular bit is going to be a non argument. The legal age is 16, it’s the same age to play the lottery and die for your country (although they do try and keep you from the front line) I don’t like to think of anyone today playing fast and loose with their lives. One thing I would agree with Jambutty is the need for realistic hard hitting sexual education. I sat through many RAF educational films about sexual health in the late 70s and I can tell you (and I’m more than sure that others will agree) they weren’t enjoyable viewing. Maybe it’s time to introduce some reality into our schools about the consequences of sexual experimentation.

In view of the original post. The Law and the Courts or there to make judgements on individual cases. I can understand what the guy is saying, but for those who deliberately target and pray on children we should be much harsher, Surgery and life imprisonment, that is the only way you will ever really protect the public.

lettie · 21-11-2006, 17:53

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nell

In Amsterdam and other European countries most teens dont have sex until they're 18. They have a comprehensive sexual education starting in primary school. Most British people would be shocked at the content of their education, but there are hardly any teenage pregnancies. Knowledge is power. I think its time our government stopped living in the past and cowtowing to prim parents who think sex is bad!

I agree, the difference between here and Amsterdam is that there is still some stigma and shame associated with teen pregnancies in Holland. Their sex education is far superior and contraception is properly explained and easy to obtain (there are condom machines on street corners so they don't even need to deal with a shop assistant). The Dutch are also more savvy about STI's. Dutch teenagers do have sex and they do experiment with it but because of the stigma associated with teen pregnancies, they use contraception (usually condoms) and they do it sensibly.

We need to face facts that teenagers are not going to stop having sex. They have tried this in the USA where they had an abstinance programme. The pregnancy rate did fall but the STI rate increased amongst the young people on the abstinence programme. Therefore, they were still having sex but using a non barrier form of contraception. Sex education needs to be better...... more informative and yes... more graphic (it was pretty pathetic when I was at school). It needs to be taught by someone who is qualified within the sphere of sexual health and not by a general, usually nervous teacher.

Lastly...... Parents have a lot to answer for. Can the parents on this forum honestly hold their hands up and say that they have frank, open discussions with their teens about sex, emotions, diseases, pregnancy etc. I know that my parents didn't, except to explain how pregnancies happen. Parents have to take some responsibility regarding teenage sex. My dad, being rather old fashioned has not had the wherewithall to speak to my teenage sister.. I have had many a discussion with her from the age of 13. She knows almost as much as I do about HIV, Chlamydia, Gonorrhoea and pregnancy. These are my areas of expertise and I consider that I have done a decent job on her.

It's high time that we, as a nation, got over our inhibitions and started talking to our teens. A teenage pregnancy is by no means the worst thing that can happen to them. HIV is on the increase, it is a lifelong disease and it kills...

steeljack · 21-11-2006, 17:59

Quote:

Originally Posted by jambutty

During the fist six weeks of my naval career we were shown a highly explicit film about venereal diseases. I can promise you that it was not nice. It put me off casual sex especially after seeing the queue outside the sick bay on my first ship.

.

"The real traditions of the British Navy are rum, buggery and the lash." (Winston Churchill)

slinky · 21-11-2006, 18:15

Quote:

Originally Posted by lettie

I

We need to face facts that teenagers are not going to stop having sex. They have tried this in the USA where they had an abstinance programme. The pregnancy rate did fall but the STI rate increased amongst the young people on the abstinence programme. Therefore, they were still having sex but using a non barrier form of contraception. Sex education needs to be better...... more informative and yes... more graphic (it was pretty pathetic when I was at school). It needs to be taught by someone who is qualified within the sphere of sexual health and not by a general, usually nervous teacher.

.

I have always believed that there is NO set age to start telling your kids about sex, contraception etc etc.......

My 9 year old was recently staying at his Grandma and Grandads. He asked his Grandma what a Condom was. She sat him down and told him what they were and what they were used for.
When I went to pick him up the next day she told me what she had said to him and hoped I didn't mind. Of course I didn't mind. She is old enough and wise enough to have given him the proper and truthful facts.

I agree with Lettie on this matter. Parents need to tell these youngsters about sex and contraception.

My mum was always open with us about sexual issues and yes it might have been embarrassing for her.......but at least we got truthful facts instead of wrong facts off other teenagers.

I think when they are old enough to ask.....they are old enough to be told.

SPUGGIE J · 21-11-2006, 18:19

Well been through the thread cogitated a bit and come to the conclusion that its time the govenment set everything around underage sex in a comprehensive set of laws that no one can misunderstand. I have a daughter and nieces and anyone went near them I would find a large blunt rusty knife and perform surgery without anisthetic!!!

What other countries do is their business and they run by that with all the information help and aid at hand. My nephews are too young to get into any mischief at the moment but I hope that by the time they want to "go exploring with girls" that this whole mess is sorted out. Its easy to just ignore what happens and when questioning both boys and girls of a certain age you get the " thats a dirty thing" attitude.

While there is so much subliminal advertising near naked popstars and papers ful of celebs sex lives then teens will want to give it a go. The education side is poor, advice is ridgedly advocated and the "my friends do it" all come into play.

So all in all its a poor do and because of the way things are these kind of people flourish and teens see no wrong in it. Its not that long ago that a couple of teachers got "in about" a couple of teens and if they think its ok then heaven help us.

Tinkerbelle · 21-11-2006, 18:20

Quote:

Originally Posted by jambutty

Lesbian or gay sex should be limited to consenting adults and that means at least 18 years of age. Even here I think that it should be 21.

Good God ...... and they say teenagers need educating! I thought we'd moved on from comments like that years ago jambutty!

SPUGGIE J · 21-11-2006, 18:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tinkerbelle

Good God ...... and they say teenagers need educating! I thought we'd moved on from comments like that years ago jambutty!

Its not so much an education thing as much as are the teens at 16 emotionally mature enough to cope with it?

accymel · 21-11-2006, 18:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by lettie

Lastly...... Parents have a lot to answer for. Can the parents on this forum honestly hold their hands up and say that they have frank, open discussions with their teens about sex, emotions, diseases, pregnancy etc. I know that my parents didn't, except to explain how pregnancies happen. Parents have to take some responsibility regarding teenage sex. My dad, being rather old fashioned has not had the wherewithall to speak to my teenage sister.. I have had many a discussion with her from the age of 13. She knows almost as much as I do about HIV, Chlamydia, Gonorrhoea and pregnancy. These are my areas of expertise and I consider that I have done a decent job on her.

It's high time that we, as a nation, got over our inhibitions and started talking to our teens. A teenage pregnancy is by no means the worst thing that can happen to them. HIV is on the increase, it is a lifelong disease and it kills...

Me does!!

in fact one just got brought up & i had to make sure she understood what it meant [thank fully she did] funny it was the condom so the discussion just came up so i could inform her its uses, also aware of the pill im open with that as well & im always making it stigma here for teenage pregnancies - cos no i dont want to be a young granny, plus the life we have means i share openly the crap of life, that choosing means choosing consequences, so yeh my kids as aware as i am, at the time they are ready & hope i set a good example to them & just hope they darn listen!!

accymel · 21-11-2006, 18:34

Quote:

Originally Posted by SPUGGIE J

Its not so much an education thing as much as are the teens at 16 emotionally mature enough to cope with it?

Maturity is individual though

there are some mature 16 year olds as there are immature 19 year olds - it varies thats the problem

SPUGGIE J · 21-11-2006, 18:44

Quote:

Originally Posted by accymel

Maturity is individual though

there are some mature 16 year olds as there are immature 19 year olds - it varies thats the problem

Very true and therein lies the problem. Just because a teen whether male or female is sexually mature at 13 dosnt meen that it is a licence for anyone of the age of consent to think that they can "have em" as it is not as though they are sexually imature. The whole argument that the Chief Constable started then backed away on shows how emotive and fouled up the whole paedophillia issue is.

WillowTheWhisp · 21-11-2006, 18:50

I agree that it's important to be open and honest with children and not make a big issue of sitting them down and having "a serious chat". If their questions are answered from an early age and they aren't fobbed off with nonsense about storks and gooseberry bushes they'll be a lot more open with their questions and/or problems. I've always let it be a non-embarrassing subject which I'm willing to talk about at any time with either of my girls.

It's impossible to make generalisations about when people are mature. Some people marry at 16 and it lasts for lfe. Others wait longer but still end up falling out of love again and getting divorced.