Unhappy children.

Margaret Pilkington · 12-01-2012, 13:54

There has beeen a study published today that reckons that 9% of the children in this country are unhappy.

This study looked at children between the ages of 8 and 15....it asked a variety of questions to determine the 'well-being' factor of children.
Who pays to commission these studies?
Do they do any real good ?
Are they relevant?

In my view this survey has looked at the negaitve side of the coin......9% are unhappy....which must mean that 91% are happy.
Yet they are concentrating on the minority...telling parents that they should involve children in family decisions.....and giving other bits of totally useless advice(like give them spending money, buy them branded trainers....you get the idea....materialistic stuff...which begs the question as to what children were asked in the survey)
Maybe we should send this 9% to the slums of India, Somalia, or some other third world country where children don't have TV in their bedroom(they might not even have a bedroom) where the children don't have laptops, ipods etc, where the children get no schooling and may not even get enough to eat.

Do children today have anything to be really unhappy about?

cashman · 12-01-2012, 13:59

Going off some parents n partnerships,i would say YES, I wouldn't imagine the 9% are to blame,if in fact it is 9%, personally thing these studies are a complete waste of money, everyone knows well there are "Misfits" in society, the money would be better spent trying to educate em.

Eric · 12-01-2012, 14:05

I would be guessing there isn't an "unhappy parents" version of this study

MargaretR · 12-01-2012, 14:27

It is essential to experience 'unhappiness'.

If you never did, you wouldn't recognise 'happiness' when you had it.

walkinman221 · 12-01-2012, 14:41

So if what you have just said is true all the 9% ,will in the future be truly happy because the have experienced unhappiness, thats alright then

Margaret Pilkington · 12-01-2012, 15:19

Eric, no there wasn't a parent survey which ran tandem to this....that would have been interesting!

It was the materialistic angle that interested me.
I could understand children being unhappy if their parents had split up...or for some other emotional reason(illness and death in the family) but really, children were unhappy if they didn't have the electronic gadgets...sky TV broadband.....all the things that mean very little in life.
To these children I would say....if you have a roof over your head, food in your belly, clothes on your back....a school to go to, friends to socialise with, a parent or parents to make sure you are cared for....then you have nothing at all to be unhappy about.
If you want the added extra's...the ipod, the phone etc...go out and get a job. Life isn't going to hand you things on a plate, and the sooner you learn this valuable lesson, the easier(and dare I say?) and happier you will be. No-one said that life would be perpetual happiness.

My gut feeling is that we shouldn't even be asking them, they are children for goodness sake.

Eric · 12-01-2012, 15:44

Quote:

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

Eric, no there wasn't a parent survey which ran tandem to this....that would have been interesting!

It was the materialistic angle that interested me.
I could understand children being unhappy if their parents had split up...or for some other emotional reason(illness and death in the family) but really, children were unhappy if they didn't have the electronic gadgets...sky TV broadband.....all the things that mean very little in life.
To these children I would say....if you have a roof over your head, food in your belly, clothes on your back....a school to go to, friends to socialise with, a parent or parents to make sure you are cared for....then you have nothing at all to be unhappy about.
If you want the added extra's...the ipod, the phone etc...go out and get a job. Life isn't going to hand you things on a plate, and the sooner you learn this valuable lesson, the easier(and dare I say?) and happier you will be. No-one said that life would be perpetual happiness.

My gut feeling is that we shouldn't even be asking them, they are children for goodness sake.

Yup ... I agree ... and I think all of us who grew up poor would think the same way. But I still have problems with those who think that material things make you happy. Sure, the roof over, food on the table, clothes on your back ... they are things you can't do without (altho' many in the world do). But all the other junk ... nah.

spex357 · 12-01-2012, 16:07

It really does depend on the definition of happy, i was never happy as a kid, i had no telly but then neither did anyone else, i had no carpet in my bedroom but neither did many others. I have a list 16yrs long of unhappy childhood memories, i'm hoping abuse levels have plummetted over time. Lets just hope this 9% are just unhappy with their material things but its more likely to be broken homes and fear of guardians at the top of the list.

Margaret Pilkington · 12-01-2012, 16:12

That was my point Eric.......material things are not the way to happiness.
The roof over your head etc, I would consider to be the basics...though I know that there are children in the world who do not have the things we count as basic.......maybe the unhappy children should be made to live with these children and find out what real unhappiness is.

I also think that we need to experience a range of emotions as we grow up, in order to develop not only the coping strategies to deal with them but to realise that life isn't going to give what we want, just because we want it..........and hardship, unhappiness etc shapes our character and enables us to empathise....and be a more rounded individual.

Margaret Pilkington · 12-01-2012, 16:19

Quote:

Originally Posted by spex357

It really does depend on the definition of happy, i was never happy as a kid, i had no telly but then neither did anyone else, i had no carpet in my bedroom but neither did many others. I have a list 16yrs long of unhappy childhood memories, i'm hoping abuse levels have plummetted over time. Lets just hope this 9% are just unhappy with their material things but its more likely to be broken homes and fear of guardians at the top of the list.

I can't answer that question, as I do not have any insight into the questions asked, but it didn't appear the unhappiness was based on uncaring parental attitudes, and nothing was mentioned about abuse.
It mentioned material things and decision making within the family and in the community.

I am sorry you had an unhappy childhood. Mine was impoverished....but then that was par for the era....we were all in the same boat.
My parents ruled us strictly too.....so there were times when I feared them...but only when I had done something I knew was wrong. Other than that I had a childhood that was full of riches......books to read, green fields to play in, friends, grandparents. clothes on my back(hand me downs - but we didn't care back then) a much healthier childhood than many children today experience.

Eric · 12-01-2012, 16:20

Quote:

Originally Posted by spex357

It really does depend on the definition of happy, i was never happy as a kid, i had no telly but then neither did anyone else, i had no carpet in my bedroom but neither did many others. I have a list 16yrs long of unhappy childhood memories, i'm hoping abuse levels have plummetted over time. Lets just hope this 9% are just unhappy with their material things but its more likely to be broken homes and fear of guardians at the top of the list.

Know what you mean, bud. My folks were divorced when I was 5. That would be in 1950 if my arithmetic serves me right. This set me up as the weird kid in school. Today, the weirdo is the kid whose parents are still together

, and who is still getting by with the Ipad 1.

mobertol · 12-01-2012, 16:53

I had a very happy childhood with all my grand-parents close by, good neighbours and friends who I'm still in contact with today on a regular basis. My parents both worked though luxuries were few and far between. At Xmas there was one present -not a list of things, mum made most of our clothes herself, sewing and knitting but we had memorable holidays camping and i remember her buying one thing every week to put away in the trailer for the holidays, tins of this and that and other stuff.
Most free time was spent out of doors playing with friends and we roamed quite free and without any cares. I would gladly return to those days and wouldn't swap the childhood I had with a present day one. Perhaps it's the rose-tinted glasses of time making everything seem perfect but i do really remember it that way.
I honestly can't remember ever being discontented or vaguely unhappy.

Benipete · 12-01-2012, 18:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by walkinman221

So if what you have just said is true all the 9% ,will in the future be truly happy because the have experienced unhappiness, thats alright then

That's correct and vice-versa.You need to experience both sides of emotions to appreciate life to the full.

Me,I'm happy being miserable.

MargaretR · 12-01-2012, 18:21

To feel miserable and happy at times in your life is 'normal'.

When you swing between severe depression and extreme elation, they call it bipolar disorder (which many genius' had)

Who says what is 'normal' anyway?

I had a boss who was bi-polar and was medicated to make him 'normal' - he said he missed 'being high'.

jaysay · 12-01-2012, 18:44

Quote:

Originally Posted by spex357

It really does depend on the definition of happy, i was never happy as a kid, i had no telly but then neither did anyone else, i had no carpet in my bedroom but neither did many others. I have a list 16yrs long of unhappy childhood memories, i'm hoping abuse levels have plummetted over time. Lets just hope this 9% are just unhappy with their material things but its more likely to be broken homes and fear of guardians at the top of the list.

I think that kids are unhappy today if the haven't got the latest video games , trainers, trackies, and Iphone etc, which is more sad than ever, we live in a materialistic world