What Are We Bringing Up ? - Page 3

Ianto.W. · 25-02-2007, 12:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

I remember my dad telling me not to bring 'disgrace' on the family.......I wasn't at all sure what he meant....but then he said that if i ever came home pregnant and not married he would turn me onto the street naked.......and I just knew that this was no idle threat. It was the best contraception ever!

This applied to any unmarried young lady not just teenagers, most of the smart ones got married and hoped Dad didn't do his sums well.

Margaret Pilkington · 25-02-2007, 13:37

Well, it must've worked as I got married in OCT 1966 and my daughter didn't arrive until March 1968...as the americans say 'you do the math'

mickmc · 25-02-2007, 13:41

Quote:

Originally Posted by accymel

Heheheehe do u think he could handle 3 grandkids at once

Aye, he could - but thats why I passed on my knowledge and wisdom to you two.... lol - so that I don't have to....lol

Always remember to explain to em that with every "right" they feel they have to do something, also comes with the word "responsibility" and that every "action" they do always has a "consequence" and to have respect for others and their property

My old dad had a very good theory about bringing up children, (and he should know, as he brought up 8 of us single handed after my mum died when I was 1, and still went out to work as well ) - it was "give children what they need, not neccessarily what they want" - think about that one carefully - it has great wisdom!!

Do they need the latest ipods or fashion??, - well maybe - or maybe they need love, attention, shared experiences, fresh air, a time to be kids and have fun, maybe they need to see places, allow them to achieve things for themselves - and maybe sometimes they need diciplining for breaking the rules

Margaret Pilkington · 25-02-2007, 13:52

mickmc, you are spot on with what children need. If they don't get the love and attention from their parents that is when they start doing the bad things that make parents take notice....they do need ground rules and boundaries,but these need to be set fairly early in their lives...and they need to be adhered to.

Ianto.W. · 25-02-2007, 14:10

Margaret when your Dad said he would turn you out of the house with nothing, he meant it and you knew he meant it.

accymel · 25-02-2007, 14:34

Quote:

Originally Posted by mickmc

Aye, he could - but thats why I passed on my knowledge and wisdom to you two.... lol - so that I don't have to....lol

You thought me & maccy were bad mine beat us.............. i need a boxing referee 24/7 atm

WillowTheWhisp · 25-02-2007, 14:39

Quote:

Originally Posted by mickmc

My old dad had a very good theory about bringing up children, (and he should know, as he brought up 8 of us single handed after my mum died when I was 1, and still went out to work as well ) - it was "give children what they need, not neccessarily what they want" - think about that one carefully - it has great wisdom!!

Do they need the latest ipods or fashion??, - well maybe - or maybe they need love, attention, shared experiences, fresh air, a time to be kids and have fun, maybe they need to see places, allow them to achieve things for themselves - and maybe sometimes they need diciplining for breaking the rules

Very well put. I like that.

accymel · 25-02-2007, 15:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by mickmc

Do they need the latest ipods or fashion??, - well maybe - or maybe they need love, attention, shared experiences, fresh air, a time to be kids and have fun, maybe they need to see places, allow them to achieve things for themselves - and maybe sometimes they need diciplining for breaking the rules

Also that u can do your best to bring your kids up what you think is right & thus them to fail or not suceed or do better for their future life. The hard thing is that the amount of pressure especially nowadays & the pc brigade its becoming extremely hard for parents that no matter what u do its wrong, finding the balance is hard.

Its a hard job & no handbook thats specific for perfect parenting

lancsdave · 25-02-2007, 15:18

Quote:

Originally Posted by accymel

Also that u can do your best to bring your kids up what you think is right & thus them to fail or not suceed or do better for their future life. The hard thing is that the amount of pressure especially nowadays & the pc brigade its becoming extremely hard for parents that no matter what u do its wrong, finding the balance is hard.

I think peer pressure does more harm than bad parenting these days. You can do the parenting job well enough but once they are out mixing you don't stand much of a chance if the wrong people get to them.

accymel · 25-02-2007, 15:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by lancsdave

I think peer pressure does more harm than bad parenting these days. You can do the parenting job well enough but once they are out mixing you don't stand much of a chance if the wrong people get to them.

True put u have little chance of actually protecting them, but give them as much advice & warnings about mixing with these types of people. You cant wrap em up in cotton wool or keep em away from other kids - otherwise 1 of 2 things will happen, 1] they get too scared to do anything then in later life once on their own have no concept on how to deal with it & get too afraid to do things/handle people in life so end up in a situation that isnt good because they cant get themselves out or with bad people OR 2] rebel & force their way to the very people u dont want them to hang with or do stuff thats wrong, to prove a point or end up with & doing the things later on once left home anyway.

So no win situ but give your kids the tools to survive that or how to deal with it should the time comes.

Margaret Pilkington · 25-02-2007, 16:41

Accymel, you are so right. You have to do your best....sometimes it doesn't look like things will turn out. But, if you give your kids the very best you can (and sometimes they feign disinterest, but are taking on board what you say) they will work out their own survival strategies.

LancYorkYankee · 26-02-2007, 02:38

Unfortunately, this sort of thing is a status thing amoung certain groups in our society. It seems it's many of the poorer/uneducated lot that are found having kids at a very young age. I know of some families who are great-grandmothers at 45 - 50 years old. So much for teaching your children not to make the same mistake.

These young girls with a babe on their hip walk around like it's some kind of trophy. Then you have these young guys making the babes and taking no responsibility. The see it as a mark of manhood or something. They brag about "having 3 or 4 kids." They make em but don't do anything to support them.

It is just plain crazy (IMHO)!

Brian

Billcat · 26-02-2007, 16:32

My Dad made it very clear that if I fathered a child, then he would assume that I considered myself ready to take on full adult responsibilities - support myself, support the child, find my own place to live, and pay for any further education that I desired.

There was one really fine advert I saw in New York City - a picture of a young girl with a baby, and the caption "Having a child is like being grounded for eighteen years." I thought it was a brilliant approach!

WillowTheWhisp · 26-02-2007, 16:51

Great caption.