What Drives People To......

Reidy · 19-05-2007, 15:31

I was just reading this: http://www.thisislancashire.co.uk/mo...p_injuries.php

I wonder what drives people to take thier own lives, Personally myself i have had probably the most difficult and distressing 6 months i have ever had in my life recently, things are getting better for me now and i have got a grip of things once again, but at no point however low i have felt i have never though about or even contemplated taking my own life, and it makes me wonder what people are thinking when they are doing this????

In my opinion no one or anything is worth taking a life over, things do get better as time goes on and you just have to work through things, And get on. Did someone not realise that this man needed help? By the sounds of things people knew he had issues as one of the comments say.

It just baffles me...........

Margaret Pilkington · 19-05-2007, 17:45

I don't know why anyone would want to end their own life.
My sister in law took her own life because she wanted a baby and didn't manage to conceive. She could not see any point in a life without a baby of her own. It was terribly sad.....but she could see no other way out.

Reidy · 19-05-2007, 18:19

There is always a way out of every situation and i think people need to realise that

garinda · 19-05-2007, 18:31

Sadly logic isn't a part of clinical depression.

I have a close relative who attempted suicide after the death of his wife. Eighteen months later and he's still sectioned, because of fears of what he might do to himself. No amount of saying 'pull yourself' together' and 'it's always darkest before the dawn' work. We have oodles of sayings in English, which illustrate good common sense when it comes to suicidal tendencies, but as stated earlier logic doesn't come into it. It's a long and a nightmarish journey, back from the depths of despair.

This is why I recently got so angry the other week, when some joker on here suggested anyone with depression should top themselves.

mallard · 19-05-2007, 18:42

yes i can say depression is a realy bad thing to go through but i my self have been in the same way but i got help off my famley and the doctor but i must say pray,s the lord who as help,t me in a lot of ways now when i am feeling a bit down in the dump,s i look up and pray to god

Margaret Pilkington · 19-05-2007, 18:43

Well, it was not evident to my sister in law.......she could see no way out other than a bottle of vodka and a full pack of distalgesics....it was on the eve of Valentine's Day too.
She didn't seem depressed....Ok she talked about her deep sadness at not being able to have a baby.....but no-one had a clue that she was so close to the edge.

West Ender · 19-05-2007, 20:54

My husband died suddenly, from meningitis, 11 years ago at the age of 55. I was in deep shock and, for a while, I didn't want to live. I couldn't see the point and I couldn't see a future without him. My mother, who was 86 at the time, said, "You'll get through this. You're a strong lass." I didn't believe her at first, I didn't feel at all strong, but I went back to work a few weeks later and had the tremendous support of my colleagues and friends as well as the fantastic support of my children, who were grieving too but helped me so much. What really did it for me, though, was my grandson. He was 10 at the time and had been very close to his grampa. I looked at him and I knew I couldn't put him through losing me as well.

I know how it feels to come close to the edge and I'll always be grateful for a wonderful family, brilliant friends, and my lovely Peter who is now 21 and my pride and joy. I'm thankful, too, for having what my mum called a "stubborn streak" - she knew, I inherited it from her. I was one of the lucky ones.

cashman · 19-05-2007, 22:17

have had great sadness in my life (who aint) but never had the urge to top meself, some may think i'm pig ignorant, but i regard myself as just lucky, depression can happen to anyone, and i think is probably the most misunderstood illness by much of society, have lost a family member, also a mate through it, some think councilling is useless,all i can say is it did help me 6 years ago, i did not have much faith in it, but took the view- owts worth trying,and it paid off too a degree.

Less · 19-05-2007, 23:45

How to answer this thread? Depression can strike when you least expect it, it is something I have suffered most of my life.

It is on the most part something you learn to live with and also hide, but the only people that know about it are your real friends, they will allow you to disappear when you're having a bad day. I feel that most people that suffer from depression are brave enough to cope with it on a day to day basis, but sometimes be it the loss of a loved one or your job or even something someone close to you would think trivial the edge suddenly crumbles and without even trying you fall into a pit of despair.

No use complaining, even the closest of friends can't understand why this item should be a problem but to you it is the end of the world.

Often a brave face is put on until you are no longer in company then the evil of it grips and no matter how illogical it might be you reach for relief from the torment that you have had to call life. It doesn't matter which method you choose, the annoying thing is that when you wake up in a hospital bed you don't feel grateful you fell ashamed because yet again you've tried something and failed!

Your friends and family gather around for a short period but once again on goes the brave face, normality has been reached, so the novelty of your foolish act, (yes it is foolish I'm not proud), is pushed to one side. But then you spend years on anti-depresents with the dose being doubled every few years because the doctor knows he hasn't got a cure, you also end up being accused of being lazy and not wanting to work, (a scrounger), and that hurts, (a lot).

But you've promised your loved ones you won't do it again so you are stuck in a life you don't enjoy, unable to look after yourself without what other people call hand outs.

A touch dramatic this one for an idiot like Less isn't it? But I don't want any of you to go through either the loss or the torment of attempting it yourself, those of you that have never attempted this won't understand may it always remain that way, those of us that have are just desperate images of you, so please, look out for us we are safe, just unhappy, don't bother trying to understand us.

I'm off now to bed, I often lie in a similar position to children still in the womb, that's the only way I can sleep.

garinda · 19-05-2007, 23:51

Thanks for sharing that Less.

It will hopefully allow people to see a different side to this issue.

Stanaccy · 20-05-2007, 00:05

Thanks for putting that into words Less. I've been diagnosed as depressed for several years now, I have never attempted or contemplated "that act" but have many times thought about just continuing driving and running away, thinking how everyone would be better off if I just wasn't there.

I can not say why I don't but possibly my autopilot just brings me back every day. I know my wife and the children love me and me them but sometimesI can't help feeling that I am just a burden on them.

Yes I'm on antidepressants and it makes life a bit easier, but I can see how people can't face another day and have to take the ultimate action.

Ianto.W. · 20-05-2007, 00:56

Hard subject to answer this one, each and every one of us has at some time in our lives to face some sort of demon, it could be money or matrimonial and perish the thought bereavement. None of us are assembled in the same fashion, some may appear strong some weak, but at the end of the day life is far to precious a gift to throw away 'willy nilly', yes I know it's easy for someone else to say if it is not their problem.
No answers from me I'm afraid, only this one tit bit of advice given to me in some of my darkest times, "a problem shared is a problem halved" talk to someone.

Less · 20-05-2007, 12:00

Just on a lighter side of this because with time, we can look back and laugh at the most stupid moments in our lives, when I woke up in hospital my daughter was there and shortly afterwards the doctor came around and recommended that she should stay while he talked to me.
He went through all sorts of questions and I answered each one with a plain and honest answer until he put on a frown stared me in the eyes and said,

"You do realise that statistically the way you attempted to do this is more often a method chosen by women?"

I replied, "Well I'm terribly sorry Doctor if I ever attempt to do this again I'll try and find a much more butch way of doing it just for you!"

This caused my daughter to laugh at the irony of it and the doctor went away not understanding why we could find amusement under such circumstances.