What happenned to TACT in our Elders? - Page 2

WillowTheWhisp · 10-05-2005, 21:30

Thankfully not all old people are the same and some seem to get pleasure from being cantankerous but I recall having read something recently that the sort of impossible to cope with behaviour which carers find so frustrating and which makes trying to help the elderly a thankless task is related to a sort of pre-dementia and they are probably unaware that they have undergone a personality change.

I had an elderly relative who constantly complained that no-one ever visited her. She would tell the same tale of woe to every visitor so that each in turn was under the impression that they were the only ones who ever went anywhere near. It was only by talking to each other that we realised she had lots of visitors and should have been grateful considering how grumpy she always was whenever we visited.

Billcat · 10-05-2005, 21:38

If it is my fate to go gaga late in life, I hope that I am one of the happy sort. I'd hate to turn into a whiner!

garinda · 10-05-2005, 21:42

Quote:

Originally Posted by Billcat

If it is my fate to go gaga late in life, I hope that I am one of the happy sort. I'd hate to turn into a whiner!

Oh do stop, whining on and on........

[Only joking.]

fireman · 10-05-2005, 21:42

Why should anyone tolerate it. Bad manners are bad manners, whilst we alldo try to make allowances for age and confusion being outright rude to people, especially people who are doing their best to help is not classed as acceptable behaviour.

slinky · 10-05-2005, 21:44

I must agree with this fireman.....I work as a auxhillary nurse with the elderly and I do think that they lose all manners that they most certainly had when they were younger.
It was only the other day that I was working with one elderly residant and I was stood outside her door disgusing something with the nurse-in-charge. The lady came out of her room and said to me '' what time do you call this you was supposed to get me dressed hours ago'' I explained to the lady that she was quite able to go and dress herself (promoting independance and all) she then said '' I hire you to dress me, now come and get my clothes and get me dressed''.
I was gobsmacked to say the least and a while later as I was thinking about I thought ''god I hope I dont lose my manners and blame it on BEING ABLE TO BECAUSE I AM OLD''.

Elderly people stood at busstops tickle me, you hear them saying things like ''KIDS nowadays they have no manners, we would have got a clip round the ear'ol''. Thinking about it I know we get some BAD kids these days but me at 25years old I do think I have more manners and respect for people than some of the elderly do.
Also the other thing that makes me laugh is the FIGHTING that goes on between elderly people. Some of the worse punches I have seen have been between two little elderly woman at work. So yes I do think that they can be rather rude and bad mannered at times.

Billcat · 10-05-2005, 21:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by fireman

Why should anyone tolerate it. Bad manners are bad manners, whilst we alldo try to make allowances for age and confusion being outright rude to people, especially people who are doing their best to help is not classed as acceptable behaviour.

It's not always something that they can control. I've known any number of folks who had a serious personality change due to medical problems. It can be Alzheimer's, a stroke, or depression, just to name a few causes. It can even be an insulin-dependent diabetic going into insulin shock (my wife has been a Type I diabetic for more than forty-five years, so we'v had a lot of experience with this).

mez · 10-05-2005, 21:57

oo shoot me please if i get like that..............

.

fireman · 10-05-2005, 22:00

We all ,I'm sure understand that sometimes this can be brought about by a medical condition but I think some of them use that as an excuse just to be rude,,,,,,,,,

slinky · 10-05-2005, 22:09

Actually having dementia and being abusive do not in anyway go hand in hand.
I have just done some intensive training on DEMENTIA. One thing that sticks in my mind is a article that I read that was true. A man was diagnosed with dementia and after 3 years of being in the care of his own wife. They started him on a new drug to try to slow down the process of the symptoms. After 8 months of the drug being given the wife was becoming withdrawn and had bruising when attending a hospital appointment. To cut a long story short, the gentlemen with the condition used to be a wife beater, when he got dementia he forgot, then when he was given the drugs he remembered and continued to beat his wife. As to say they stooped his medication because he was more aggressive when taking it. Yes SOME dementia sufferers get abbusive but not always.

fireman · 10-05-2005, 22:09

Yesterday I was in Homebase making a purchase. when I was stood in the queue with quite a few others ,waiting to pay ,an elderly woman came in anwent to the other side of the desk, obviously wishing to return something. It had just come my turn to be dealt with. The old lady butted in and almost demanded to be dealt with first. The lady on the till told her that she must wait her turn. "but I have a car waiting for me and hes parked in a funny place" A voice from the back of the queue came, it was a lafy of similar age. "Then go and tell him to park in a place that is not funny its a bloody big car park and then come back and wait your bloody turn like us"

WillowTheWhisp · 10-05-2005, 22:15

This just reminded me of an amusing incident some years ago in Asda when a little old lady was complaining to anyone who would listen that some people use the "baskets only aisle" when they've got a trolley and more than six items. She repeatedly told people in the queue that she had only 5 things in her basket. She then began to COUNT the contents of the basket of the man in front of her! She came up with 9 but she'd counted a six pack of coke cans as six individual items. He got rather annoyed with her and told her to mind her own business to which she replied. "Wait till you're as old as I am. I'm seventy three you know!" and he responded "I am older than you, you daft old bat. I'm eighty one!"

Neil · 10-05-2005, 22:26

Quote:

Originally Posted by slinky

I have just done some intensive training on DEMENTIA.

Have you been looking after Tinkerbelle again?

slinky · 10-05-2005, 22:29

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neil

Have you been looking after Tinkerbelle again?

No but as I was doing the training I thought to myself '' I know someone who fits this discription''..................................... .hehehehe

grannyclaret · 10-05-2005, 22:33

oh why do i feel guilty,,,,i think i am getting a crammed old git sometimes ,i dont seem to have as much patience as i used to have,but i hope i dont act like some of the people described on this thread ,,,,,,,,,,,i am only in my 60,s ,,,,,,,,,,,,what will i be like in 10 years time? gulp

fireman · 10-05-2005, 22:36

you are only a spring chicken yet x