What happenned to TACT in our Elders?

fireman · 10-05-2005, 19:54

I am involved, with my wife in looking after her mother. I lost my mother recently, and I seem to be meeting a lot of older people at the moment. WHY IS IT THEY THINK THEY CAN SAY ANYTHING THEY WANT TO YOU , HOWEVER MUCH YOU ARE HELPING AND DOING FOR THEM. They seem to have lost all tact in their later life. They sometimes make you feel that you are a nuisance to them, even though they could not manage without your help. SORRY seems to be a word of the past along with THANKYOU and PLEASE. Sometimes they are down right insulting but don't seem to care. I despair sometimes I would be in favour of putting them, or us, out of their misery. They do awful and ignorant things and expect that they get away with it. What is going on ..................................

-pixie · 10-05-2005, 19:59

I get this a lot, especially when I am out with the brat in his pram. People of a certain age seem to think they can say anything and have no comeback whatsoever. I once had two old ladies tutting disapprovingly at the fact that "I was obviously a single mother on the state" and "She probably doesn't even know who the father is". They had this conversation between themselves despite the fact that I was sat right there!
The look on their faces when they were (rather sharply, but oh so politley!) corrected was priceless though.

And I always notice that older people always check my ring finger as well. I don't know why that is.

Older people seem to think that because they are older they can say whatever they want. I say that if they want respect, they should try earning it.

fireman · 10-05-2005, 20:04

I agree I was always brought up to respect my elders but I must admit I am finding it rather difficult at the moment.

grego · 10-05-2005, 20:15

I agree with everything you both have said, they think its us who have no respect, I know not all senior citizens behave like this but a lot do think that we owe our lives/freedom to them. Though some fought the war(s) and I have a lot of respect for them, a lot didn't and there are young people still fighting in wars, who dont know their born! Saying that its important to take care of our senior citizens after all its going to happen to all of us if we're lucky and I cant wait to be able to get away with being horrible !

fireman · 10-05-2005, 20:18

My Mother in law said she didn't want to live to be 80 but she went and changed her mind at 79.

grego · 10-05-2005, 20:25

I think you never feel any different as the years go by and when you get older that probably doesn't change, especially if you're healthy.

fireman · 10-05-2005, 20:33

My wife is a nurse and was once assessing an elder lady on admission to the ward . The conversation went a bit like this.

Wife. What is your full name?

Old lady. Made no reply.

Wife. Do you know your address?

Old Lady. Made no reply and stared intensly at my wife.

Wife. Do you know what day it is?

Old Lady.Again no reply.

Wife. How do you feel?

Old Lady. No reply.

Wife. Do you know where you are now.

Old Lady. SAME PLACE AS YOU AND YOU ASK TOO MANY BLOODY QUESTIONS.

Wife. No reply...............................

Margaret Pilkington · 10-05-2005, 20:51

Old people don't lack tact......they lack respect for others and can be very impolite.
I have often held heavy doors open for them and they never acknowledge you or say thank you.
Nowadays if an old person is rude to me I tell myself that maybe their arthritis is playing them up.
Oh........I should say not all Old people are like this.

Margaret Pilkington · 10-05-2005, 20:52

Old people don't lack tact......they lack respect for others and can be very impolite.
I have often held heavy doors open for them and they never acknowledge you or say thank you.
Nowadays if an old person is rude to me I tell myself that maybe their arthritis is playing them up.
Oh........I should say not all Old people are like this.

fireman · 10-05-2005, 20:56

No I meant to say that they are not all like that but a lot of them are.

Margaret Pilkington · 10-05-2005, 21:02

I think some old folk work at being cantankerous. My hubby helps an old couple who have no living relatives........I used to help out too, but I gave up going because of the barbed comments from the old lady.
Hubby says she is lonely........I said 'well if she was a nicer person perhaps more folk would visit'.
Hubby does shopping for them and runs them to the docs and they never thank him for it.
They think that because he is retired he has nothing better to do.

chav1 · 10-05-2005, 21:04

dont worry fireman they will be dead sooner than us

fireman · 10-05-2005, 21:13

The same applies with us, because we are retired all beit early retirement it is expected that we devote our lives . My wife did not want to tell her mum we are going away next week. She will cry and say that it will seem for ever . We need a break too.

garinda · 10-05-2005, 21:17

Sounds fab. It must be in compensation for all the other things they'd like to do but can't.

Good thread Fireman,makes a change from us moaning about the lack of respect of young people.

chav1 · 10-05-2005, 21:21

ime all for respecting your elders but a miserable young ingrate will only become an old miserable ingrate

best thing to do is put the age aside and ask yourself if you would tolerate it from a person your own age