what would you do? - Page 2

Margaret Pilkington · 22-12-2017, 22:29

I am so sorry to hear that your wife is poorly and will be in the big house on the hill over Christmas.
My thoughts are much the same as those already expressed.
If you are spending all that time at the Hospital then you need a break for your own sanity.
If it were me, I would visit and see what the lie of the land is during the morning.
I would visit Daughter and her family for Christmas dinner.
They will not be expecting you to be the life and soul of the party with what is going on.
Then go and spend the evening with your lady.

As for the Christmas grub at the RBH...I don't know who told you it was Michelin standard...(unless of course they meant it all tastes like remoulds)
It fills in a hole in the same way that cement does.
Hope that things turn a corner for you soon Gerard.

dotti34 · 22-12-2017, 22:30

Trying to do what's best for all in these circumstances (and don't forget - what's best for you, too) is a bit tricky but some good suggestions have been made.

My suggestion, for what it's worth, is that you are with your wife in the morning, then organise a visit to her from your daughter and most importantly your grandkids to really brighten her day. By then I would think she will be feeling tired and needing a sleep, so that's when you can go to your daughter's and see what the bearded man has brought the kids. Share the Christmas with them, play with them for a little while and then spend the rest of the day with your wife again. That way you have split yourself up as best you can - and given a bit of yourself to everyone, but most of you to your wife.

I do hope your wife recovers well and that 2018 is a good year for you.

KiTChener · 22-12-2017, 22:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

I am so sorry to hear that your wife is poorly and will be in the big house on the hill over Christmas.
My thoughts are much the same as those already expressed.
If you are spending all that time at the Hospital then you need a break for your own sanity.
If it were me, I would visit and see what the lie of the land is during the morning.
I would visit Daughter and her family for Christmas dinner.
They will not be expecting you to be the life and soul of the party with what is going on.
Then go and spend the evening with your lady.

As for the Christmas grub at the RBH...I don't know who told you it was Michelin standard...(unless of course they meant it all tastes like remoulds)
It fills in a hole in the same way that cement does.
Hope that things turn a corner for you soon Gerard.

Thank you, Margaret, the Michelin bit was meant to be 'tongue in cheek', but, whether 'greasy spoon', Mcd's, KFC, or whatever, I would rather eat that with Yvonne,than anything that could be conjured up from Northecote, or any other 5 star establishment in the area!

Love the 'remoulds/Michelin' joke, obviously one from your time in the NHS!

I know my d'tr & s'i'l will not expect me to be l&s, but, g.kids are 13 & 10, they don't understand the same.

Can only look forward now, & hope Yvonne home in time for NY eve!

Gerard

KiTChener · 22-12-2017, 22:53

Quote:

Originally Posted by dotti34

Trying to do what's best for all in these circumstances (and don't forget - what's best for you, too) is a bit tricky but some good suggestions have been made.

My suggestion, for what it's worth, is that you are with your wife in the morning, then organise a visit to her from your daughter and most importantly your grandkids to really brighten her day. By then I would think she will be feeling tired and needing a sleep, so that's when you can go to your daughter's and see what the bearded man has brought the kids. Share the Christmas with them, play with them for a little while and then spend the rest of the day with your wife again. That way you have split yourself up as best you can - and given a bit of yourself to everyone, but most of you to your wife.

I do hope your wife recovers well and that 2018 is a good year for you.

Thank you, Dotti, really appreciate your comments & suggestions, from you & others, will take them all onboard, & hope that I can get through the day without upsetting one or the other!

Thanks again to all!
Gerard

Margaret Pilkington · 22-12-2017, 22:58

You are welcome Gerard.
Yes, the food Up there is not the best.
The grand children at 13 and 10 ARE old enough to grasp the basics of what is going on and are probably(secretly) worried and upset.
Another option for you all to perhaps consider is postponing YOUR celebration of Christmas...and perhaps doing a Christmas style meal once Yvonne is back home and things are more settled.

As for hospital entertainment at Christmas...that has to be a laugh of similar proportions to the Michelin grub joke.

Carol singers used to come round at some ungodly hour, but the only other entertainment might be some confused elderly person getting out of bed and showing a bare bum to the world.
Pay TV would be the only other bet...expensive too

dotti34 · 22-12-2017, 23:06

You’re only human – not Superman, and you can only do what you can do. If you’ve done your best and it still upsets someone then just say ‘tough titties’.

If you worry too much about it you’ll not enjoy the day yourself – and in case you don’t realise it you are important also.

Enjoy the day!!!!!

KiTChener · 22-12-2017, 23:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

You are welcome Gerard.
Yes, the food Up there is not the best.
The grand children at 13 and 10 ARE old enough to grasp the basics of what is going on and are probably(secretly) worried and upset.
Another option for you all to perhaps consider is postponing YOUR celebration of Christmas...and perhaps doing a Christmas style meal once Yvonne is back home and things are more settled.

As for hospital entertainment at Christmas...that has to be a laugh of similar proportions to the Michelin grub joke.

Carol singers used to come round at some ungodly hour, but the only other entertainment might be some confused elderly person getting out of bed and showing a bare bum to the world.
Pay TV would be the only other bet...expensive too

Yes, Margaret, you are right, the grandkids do seem to accept that Nan is not well & are probably worried themselves, yet, at their age, they don't want to show it.

Hope the 'entertainment' is better these days than when you were on the wards!!

G xxx

KiTChener · 22-12-2017, 23:53

Quote:

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

You are welcome Gerard.
Yes, the food Up there is not the best.
The grand children at 13 and 10 ARE old enough to grasp the basics of what is going on and are probably(secretly) worried and upset.
Another option for you all to perhaps consider is postponing YOUR celebration of Christmas...and perhaps doing a Christmas style meal once Yvonne is back home and things are more settled.

As for hospital entertainment at Christmas...that has to be a laugh of similar proportions to the Michelin grub joke.

Carol singers used to come round at some ungodly hour, but the only other entertainment might be some confused elderly person getting out of bed and showing a bare bum to the world.
Pay TV would be the only other bet...expensive too

Yes, Margaret, you are right, the grandkids do seem to accept that Nan is not well & are probably worried themselves, yet, at their age, they don't want to show it.

Hope the 'entertainment' is better these days than when you were on the wards!!

G xxx

PS

we are cancelling C'mas for now, until Nan comes home!!

ossy kid · 23-12-2017, 01:21

Ged, spend the day with your wife, lots of time for the family when she is better. Good luck to you both, tell your good lady we are all pulling for her.

hilleluk · 23-12-2017, 08:31

This was me last year, my husband was in hospital.
I was surprised at how many visitors people had, there was one family could only have left the dog at home. I personally would go to the hospital on Christmas Day, the staff usually make it as happy as possible, every patient had a present given, that made me happy.
I will be thinking of both of you on the day Gerard, Hope this helps

landhusweg · 23-12-2017, 09:34

Splitting your day seems the best idea, but to me the main thing is talking with your wife about the idea, i'm sure she will agree.

Cheers and

Happy Christmas and all the best (also to everyone on the site) for 2018

MargaretR · 23-12-2017, 10:15

I spent last christmas in Blackburn Royal so can confirm MargaretP's comments -
food was crap (as usual)
god bothering carol singers were the only entertainment
reduced staff numbers who didn't want to be there gave joy to nobody
Best advice- provide her with a few good books to amuse herself with in the time you aren't there. The ultimate solution is for her to sleep the day away

AccyMad · 23-12-2017, 10:16

Some good, sound advice on here - not going to add anything that's much different except I get the feeling that you'd really rather stay with your wife for the day & I'm sure you're daughter will understand that perfectly.
At a time like this, don't compromise your own feelings to please anyone else - you've got enough on your plate at the moment without that extra pressure, I'm sure you're daughter & family are asking you to join them for the best of reasons but if it doesn't feel right, I wouldn't do it.

KiTChener · 23-12-2017, 10:42

My grateful thanks to all you good people for your comments & advice.

The good, no, GREAT, news is that, after having a procedure yesterday, the consultant is happy for Yvonne to come home tomorrow & have a few days break, returning in the new year to have the situation re-assessed!

Thanks again to you all, & have a happy Christmas, & a wonderful new year

Gerard

Margaret Pilkington · 23-12-2017, 10:50

That has made my day Gerard...it really has.
Enjoy your Christmas together...now you can BOTH go to daughters and enjoy the festivities.

Now organise yourself and get up the Stanley...have a pie and a pint and a yarn with the lads.
You have earned it, you deserve it and it will do you a power of good...specially if they win.
M x