When is banter...just banter?

odders · 16-11-2021, 19:26

There's a big kick off all over the sport about the racist abuse this Rafiq guy form Yorkshire cricket club. Skipping most of the he say, she say thee say balls.(I know).

But why now bring all these other people out because your on TV.

I'm sorry for him, if it's happened but he was aware clearly it doesn't take a solicitor and 10+ years. In sport everyone is fighting to be the best. And mocking has happened from school.

If I was uncomfortable in work, I made myself known or just find something else. Then go in to say I quit. We had no phones, they got the result I got the knowledge I ruined his day.

This is just another example of Americanism, sue for anything. When you're not getting a regular income.

Margaret Pilkington · 16-11-2021, 21:37

My daughter and I have had this conversation today.
This young man has made allegations that have been backed by colleagues of the same ethnicity…..and while I am not saying he is being less than truthful, it is very convenient.
Also the term that was used to describe him…the one he took offence at, is what people of his ethnicity use about one another.

Racism is a good card to play because it is so very sensitive….and people are afraid of saying anything against this….for fear of being labelled that.

What is wrong with young men and women today….that they cannot stand up for themselves?
Call out those who they feel have overstepped the mark.
They wait until some years have elapsed and then make allegations.
Grow a pair lad….don’t you think that us pale skinned folks have not been called names?
Been humiliated by people who were in positions of power and influence.

And I know this may be construed as a racist view….but if we hide behind these names then there never will be a rational moderate discussion….and that is not helpful.

If this man did not like what he alleges happened….why did he not move..he is not a tree.
Just saying.

odders · 16-11-2021, 22:18

Exactly, and looking back over the last few years. Only black man I ever seen came up from a pit. Our Asain, Afro Caribbean, Middle East, Cherokee Indians, our Euithiop ancestors . Brown maybe never black, and the worlds a decent place. Just don't put your beliefs above others.

odders · 16-11-2021, 22:20

I hate the black reference. It's a nonsensical dergogarty word, to cause controversy and conflict.

Margaret Pilkington · 16-11-2021, 22:40

I have worked amicably alongside many different nationalities and ethnicities.
One of the Nursing sisters I worked wit spoke a number of South Asian languages, having worked out there in a missionary hospital.
The Asian men visiting their wives talked of the nurses in a very derogatory way….but not having the language to understand, we did not know this.
Well, at least not until this Sister went and spoke to them in their own language and told them off for what they were saying .
But it seems that you can only be affected by racism if your skin is a particular hue.

There are a lot of ‘isms’ out there if you really do want to paint yourself as a victim.
Personally I would far rather be a victor.

odders · 16-11-2021, 22:56

I do think wanting to be a "ism'....really ain't for me.

Elephant washer...sign me up. (more rehearsal rehtoric)... get me on that plane.

odders · 17-11-2021, 00:59

And so there's no perceived.
Stanley Johnson should be accountable, if what's been said is true.
Agian the question why Noakes now spoke out?
Seriously I'm all I favour for justice. Does it have to be public knowledge.
The old adage " It sells papers," doesn't wash anymore. So many accessible channels whatever your tickle...

dotti34 · 17-11-2021, 06:46

Odders, you ask when is banter just banter? Well my interpretation of it is when things are said that possibly are often not politically correct (what is these days?) but said in a strangely meant endearing way, a bit of teasing, if that makes sense.

I don’t know much about the case you mention – only what I have read, but if racism was so rife as to cause great strife to the man why didn’t he talk about it at the time. I agree with you, Odders, If you don’t like a situation then get out of it.

As in the example that Margaret wrote, racism can be more than one-sided. How do we know what we are being called if we don’t understand the language. Can it only be racist if uttered about someone of a different shade? I don’t think so.

Is it right to call someone names with racial connotations if used in a way to offend and cause hurt – of course it’s not, but all a person has to say is ‘I don’t like that, so shut your cake hole’ (well maybe not that last bit) but say it at the time – not years later. Don’t bottle it up. Unless of course you are making a great deal of money at the time and that is more important to you than causing a stir or getting out of a situation. Just an observation.

dotti34 · 17-11-2021, 06:48

When we came out here years ago if you were from England you were often tagged as being a Pommie Bast***. Can this be classed as racist, you could take it as so but I think it would depend on how it was used. As a matter-of-fact a birthday present for my husband from one of his mates was (and yes, I still have it) a stubby holder made of genuine leather and embossed with his initials and then the words Pi** Po* Pommie Bast***. It was well done and must have cost quite a lot. Did my husband take offence – no he thought it was hilarious, and when he drank from a stubby this is what he proudly used. His mate had gone to a lot of trouble having this made and embossed for him. Was this banter on the holder or was it racism? It was the former. It was a form of endearment, honestly!

I had a couple of instances when my Lancashire accent was mocked, I put this down to ignorance and rudeness. Lack of good manners. It was their problem not mine. I was above that. No worries, mate.

Margaret Pilkington · 17-11-2021, 07:13

Odders as for the Stanley Johnson thing with him slapping the bum of some female MP….
What is it with these girls.
Was she not taught that a keen to the groin…even the threat of it is a cure for ‘Desert Disease (wandering palms)…..and if Stanley Johnson did slap her rear, then that constitutes Desert Disease.
I just wonder if this woman would have mentioned it if Boris had not become PM.

Margaret Pilkington · 17-11-2021, 07:18

As to your original question…about Banter…it is a really fine line to tread these days because many people have become humourless.
You have to know the person the banter is aimed at pretty well….and even then you can come unstuck if that person is feeling a bit low, or has had a bad day.

Banter should be something that both parties can laugh at or at least feel comfortable with.

Alas, it seems that these days folk are pretty thin skinned.

monkey hanger · 17-11-2021, 11:57

Quote:

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

I have worked amicably alongside many different nationalities and ethnicities.
One of the Nursing sisters I worked wit spoke a number of South Asian languages, having worked out there in a missionary hospital.
The Asian men visiting their wives talked of the nurses in a very derogatory way….but not having the language to understand, we did not know this.
Well, at least not until this Sister went and spoke to them in their own language and told them off for what they were saying .
But it seems that you can only be affected by racism if your skin is a particular hue.

There are a lot of ‘isms’ out there if you really do want to paint yourself as a victim.
Personally I would far rather be a victor.

i,m in the same boat as you margaret with people i have worked with. in this case with the cricketer at least he has brought it up himself and not some lefty do gooder which nowadays seems to be the case. its this eggshell walking we all seem to have to do that bothers me. its not the minorities you have to beware of its some of the majority. one time if you were part of any minority either through race, religeon, sexuality or your politics you had to put your head down somewhat. now being some form of a minority seems to be a real trump card to use at every opportunity as you,ll find plenty of the majority who feel fit to fight your cause. it was really when in rome situation which has gone now for good.

cashman · 17-11-2021, 14:41

Quote:

Originally Posted by dotti34

When we came out here years ago if you were from England you were often tagged as being a Pommie Bast***. Can this be classed as racist, you could take it as so but I think it would depend on how it was used. As a matter-of-fact a birthday present for my husband from one of his mates was (and yes, I still have it) a stubby holder made of genuine leather and embossed with his initials and then the words Pi** Po* Pommie Bast***. It was well done and must have cost quite a lot. Did my husband take offence – no he thought it was hilarious, and when he drank from a stubby this is what he proudly used. His mate had gone to a lot of trouble having this made and embossed for him. Was this banter on the holder or was it racism? It was the former. It was a form of endearment, honestly!

I had a couple of instances when my Lancashire accent was mocked, I put this down to ignorance and rudeness. Lack of good manners. It was their problem not mine. I was above that. No worries, mate.

well summed up that Dotti, theres many pakistanis i know that use the word P, about each other round here,yet the idiot woke brigade have said its racist,scotch people are called jocks by many, welsh taffys, and so things go on, these pathetic sods never labelled those racist, thats how PATHETIC and STUPID these people are imho. the P word is just a short way of saying Pakistani.

Margaret Pilkington · 17-11-2021, 15:30

Cashy, we have encouraged them to take offence by the political correct brigade being allowed to dictate what is acceptable and what is not….it is like the N word for African Americans…it is a word they use themselves about themselves….but if someone pale uses it they are up in arms.
I am quite fed up of all this ‘whites are bad, any other race is better’.
It has become tedious to hear of how racist we all are…yet there are people in flimsy boats crossing a 21 mile stretch of water to get here…racist or not (and before anyone tells me, I know they are coming for the benefits we offer).

If this view offends you, then that is your problem.

Less · 17-11-2021, 16:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

If this view offends you, then that is your problem.

If I said that it offends me I somehow feel I would be in a minority, that being the case, now that I am a minority where do I go to claim and how much will I get?