Where there's a Will...

[dotti34]

That's why I wrote our Wills myself, MH. I didn't feel like paying good money to have straight-forward Wills made. Not sure if I would have tackled writing them though if they had been complicated.

[monkey hanger]

Originally Posted by dotti34

That's why I wrote our Wills myself, MH. I didn't feel like paying good money to have straight-forward Wills made. Not sure if I would have tackled writing them though if they had been complicated.

Tell everyone how easy it was to do it just to make the legal proffesion a little poorer.

[Margaret Pilkington]

It is fine if you have a straight forward Will, but in these days of fractured families it can be complicated and if you do not pay someone to do it for you while you are alive, then it can be a costly event to sort it out after death.
If you have little to leave then it is not a worry...if you have only one wife and one child then again it is not much different...but if you have more than one wife and children from each marriage then it gets complicated.
Ma's will was very straightforward...it just wasn't legal...not witnessed so worthless.
My legal complications were from a brother who challenged my authority to deal with the estate(even though geographically he was not in a position to do it himself)
I did not wish to give the solicitors money..but it was an unfortunate necessity.

[dotti34]

Margaret, I know the awful time you had dealing with everything after your mother passed away. That was very stressful, made so difficult when it should not have been. People can certainly show their greedy side when money and possessions are involved.

A brother and sister I know argued over the ownership of a dinner set of all things while their mother’s body was still warm – she had died on the operating table. That was the end of the siblings relationship.

[dotti34]

MH, I never said it was easy. Far from it. I spent a lot of time (and I do mean a lot) sorting out the correct wording, the way a Will has to be done. It was only because I am a stubborn old duck that I kept at it until I was reasonably sure I had it right.

I would not even attempt to tell anyone how to do this. I’m not that clever or so smart that I think I could offer advice or help even, only to say that it is possible to write your own Will - but you do have to make sure you have done this correctly. DIY information will give some guidance. I would not have done ours myself had they been complicated in any way.

[Margaret Pilkington]

Originally Posted by dotti34

Margaret, I know the awful time you had dealing with everything after your mother passed away. That was very stressful, made so difficult when it should not have been. People can certainly show their greedy side when money and possessions are involved.

A brother and sister I know argued over the ownership of a dinner set of all things while their mother’s body was still warm – she had died on the operating table. That was the end of the siblings relationship.

Dorothy, if that had been me I would have smashed every single piece of the dinner set…..
It is so sad when families are fractured at a time when their strength is in the unity of family…but avarice and materialism gets in the way.
The best of it is, rarely can those divisions be repaired.
I know that from my point of view there are brothers that I will never speak to again.

[cashman]

in my view things like that can NEVER be repaired.

[monkey hanger]

Originally Posted by cashman

in my view things like that can NEVER be repaired.

you are right cashy in the experiance i had also. if it had been a fight over their dads millions and his detached property i could understand. even wills are not safe if someone decides to go through the decesed papers and destroy a recently prepared one that did not suit them. possibly a good reason to let solicetors have their pound of flesh to stop this happening.

[Margaret Pilkington]

There is no compulsory register of wills…although some solicitors do file a will with a central storage facility.

I do think this is a good idea….but as the administrator of Ma’s estate I could not have destroyed any valid will because the contents did not suit me…but that is just me.
My conscience would have nipped me for the rest of my life….but I am sure there are some ruthless relatives that might do that.

I know after Ma died and we could only find an invalid will(unwitnessed)….the solicitor suggested that it might be a good idea to check if this had been done….but of course this incurred a cost of almost £200…..so we did not do it(this was a joint decision between us).
All the trouble that was created was by one member who incited two other brothers to join in his nasty activities…..and this was a very modest estate.
All of them, could not wait to get their hands on the portion of their inheritance…..and one of them (who still has not been in contact with me to check when the funeral is) phoned the solicitor to find out when he would get his money……..Barsteward that he is.
If he were on fire I would bring Marshmallows to toast.

[Margaret Pilkington]

When it was all over I sent him a copy of the invalid will…in which Ma told him he was getting
Bu88er Hall(or nowt).
Not that I feel it would have caused him any grief whatsoever.

[dotti34]

MH, your experience was certainly not a happy one, did not show adults in a good light to a 7 year old lad. Unfortunately greed rears its ugly head too often, and causes a lot of unpleasantness.

Re the dinner set I mentioned, the mother had lived with her son for a number of years and he had taken good care of her, whereas his sister lived away and had not been involved at all. When he refused to hand over the dinner set his sister stole a couple of pieces so that it would be incomplete. How pathetic. Their mum had just died.

That was the end of a family and all over a bit of china.

The longer I live the more I am gobsmacked at people’s behavior.

[monkey hanger]

the frightening thing with all this is that greed over nothing seems to be par for the course on this subject. people on here cannot be just the unlucky ones and this must be an everyday occurance.

[DaveinGermany]

Originally Posted by monkey hanger

the frightening thing with all this is that greed over nothing seems to be par for the course on this subject. people on here cannot be just the unlucky ones and this must be an everyday occurance.

It may well be MH, but I think it also comes down to the family & how they were raised & grew up, the moral grounding they were given by those around them will play a huge part on how folk react when the situation inevitably happens.


I quite honestly believe that there will be no fueding or discord amongst us when my Dad eventually has to leave this mortal coil & may that be a long, long way off.

[Margaret Pilkington]

You might be right about the upbringing bit….but that doesn’t fit with my situation as we were brought up using the same moral code…..so maybe my nasty siblings learned their greedy grasping confrontational behaviour.

Son, I do hope that when the time comes that you have to do this last sad task for your Dad, that you all pull together and in the same direction…and that once it is all done you still are the same lads you were before you had this job to do.

And yes…I hope it is a long time off.
Treasure him…..you do not know how hard it is once they are gone.

[DaveinGermany]

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

that you all pull together and in the same direction…and that once it is all done you still are the same lads you were before you had this job to do.

I truly believe we will, we're Williams's, although my sister is now a Peters, she's still deep down one of us, you kick one of us we all limp, you go against one of us you face the whole family, so yeah I think we're good.