Woman loses final embryo appeal

panther · 10-04-2007, 19:10

A woman left infertile after cancer therapy has lost her fight to use embryos fertilised by an ex-partner.
They began IVF treatment in 2001 but he withdrew consent for the embryos to be used after they split up.
I think this women should have had the right to keep them, they are partly her and she would be the one bringing the child up, but now she cant have any kids at all. he will be ok he can still have kids.
I feel really sorry for this woman
whats your views on this??

CASPER · 10-04-2007, 19:26

But would she then go on to claim maintenance from him or worse benefits from the state. If not then she should be allowed to have the embryo implanted

grego · 10-04-2007, 19:43

I really feel for her too, it makes me wonder why she just didn't freeze her eggs, I suppose hindsight is a wonderful thing. The man however does have a right to refuse, he doesn't want children with her and regardless of her saying she will bring the child up alone, that child would have had a right to know its father. Its a terrible situation, hope she can now get on with her life, there are lots of children in this country that need adopting maybe she can channel her love towards that.

davo69 · 10-04-2007, 19:56

you have to feel sorry for the lady but the right judgment was made you cant make some one have a kid they dont want he would still be the dad no matter what justice in my opinion

panther · 10-04-2007, 19:58

you cant freeze eggs grego only embryos, they havent figured how to do that yet!
when they do then women wouldnt have this problem

Margaret Pilkington · 10-04-2007, 20:06

I feel sorry for her too. She has said that she would sign an affidavit that she would not claim anything from the father.

grego · 10-04-2007, 20:15

Quote:

Originally Posted by panther

you cant freeze eggs grego only embryos, they havent figured how to do that yet!
when they do then women wouldnt have this problem

I'm surprised at that, thought you could

grannyclaret · 10-04-2007, 20:15

Quote:

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

I feel sorry for her too. She has said that she would sign an affidavit that she would not claim anything from the father.

In that case ,she SHOULD have the chance to be a mum, after all if her former boy friend had just got her pregnent in the normal way,he would not have been able to make her have an abbortion ,which in my book amounts to the same thing,,, he is playing God,,, and the odds are HE will go on and be a father to someone elses children,,,I hope she gets her way in the end ,look how happy mrs Blood is now...

katex · 10-04-2007, 22:24

Quote:

Originally Posted by panther

you cant freeze eggs grego only embryos, they havent figured how to do that yet!

Not sure re. the medical side Panther, but did say in a news report tonight that laws had now been passed whereby women are allowed to freeze their unfertilised eggs for future use, in the circumstances this lady found herself.

My heart breaks for this lady too, and think she should be allowed the chance to have a child of her own. Obviously the 'donor' (to put it loosely) is only afraid of the monetary consequences on his life .. did you see the smug git on telly tonight. Lots of us single mums have brought a child up with no payments, support from the father, and successfully may I add, so if any opt out clause can be produced for this no-wannabe father, then bring it on......

Ianto.W. · 10-04-2007, 22:29

I think it is a very hard decision to tell any woman, who's natural maternal instincs are to bear children that they cannot have this chance, no matter what the reason, or how silm the chance of success is.

WillowTheWhisp · 10-04-2007, 22:41

I think he is a mean selfish and spiteful person. It's OK for him, he can go on to father any number of children but he has taken away the only chance she will ever have to give birth to her own baby. When the eggs were fertilized he agreed then to it. That should have been it. He should not have been allowed to go back on that agreement. As has already been said, if they'd conceived a child in the normal way and then split up he couldn't have forced her to have an abortion. In the same way conception had taken place, his sperm had fertilized her eggs and now he is being allowed to change his mind and have those embrios destroyed. As she had said he would not make any claims on him for financial support then I think the decision is wrong.

Yes any child born to her would probably want to trace the father, just the same as any child born after a normal conception would still want to do that after the parents had split up. The time for making the decision was back before she had her cancer treatment and he was in favour of it then. He should have been made to stand by that original decision. Perhaps his current or future partner(s) will see him in a new light to see how heartless and uncaring he is towards someone he once loved enough to want to have a baby with.

garinda · 10-04-2007, 23:12

I'm pro-choice on issues like this. I believe a woman has a right to terminate a pregnancy. Conversely I think a man should have rights too, when it comes to the creation of life. If this man has withdrawn his consent, that is sad for the woman, but I believe he has every right to do so.

lettie · 11-04-2007, 07:06

I do feel incredibly sorry for this lady. Obviously at the time of the decision to freeze the embryos her boyfriend was all for it. However, even having given consent, he has every right to withdraw it, a right which we all have. If the right to withdraw consent is taken away it would potentially affect us all.

Presently, when we consent to medical treatment, operations etc. we can withdraw our consent right up until the time we are anaesthetised. I have known people do this because they are unsure of the outcome of the procedure.

I would have thought that this couple were carefully counselled prior to freezing the embryos, if so, they would have been warned that either party could withdraw consent at any given time. If they weren't given that information at the time, then future couples probably will be.

My sympathies are with Natalie Evans but all is not lost. There is potential for a donor egg, fair enough, the baby would not be genetically hers but if she is serious about wanting to have a child and is physically capable of carrying a child then it is definitely an option, as is adoption.

panther · 11-04-2007, 08:09

it would be a right kick in the teeth if this man went on to have children later on, well I hope he cant, then he will feel what this woman is feeling right now!!

flashy · 11-04-2007, 11:44

Quote:

Originally Posted by CASPER

But would she then go on to claim maintenance from him or worse benefits from the state. If not then she should be allowed to have the embryo implanted

i totally agree with you on that one casper, if her ex doesnt want children then he was right in saying what he said, why should the man have to live his life knowing there is a child out there that he didnt want, yes he wanted it at the time when they where together, but not anymore.....i do feel sorry for this woman but i do also think the right thing has been done....why should he be forced into fathering a child when he isnt actually with the mother?

dont start on sperm donation either cos thats a different matter alltogether