Worlds Oldest Mother - Page 2

WillowTheWhisp · 19-01-2005, 07:54

I find it quite appalling that people should cast stigmas on adopted children. I have friends who, unable to have natural born children, have adopted three. Their children always knew they were adopted and it was explained to them that they were chosen specially. The fact of their adoption has always been openly discussed amongst friends whenever the subject was valid and so it was never a "discovery" for anyone. In fact we knew before they adopted that they were going through the process. I never think of the children as anything other than theirs and do not see them in any different way.

I can understand what you're saying KiTChener about the desire to have a child and how you would have gone for IVF if it had been available. Maybe not carrying a child to full term would have involved something other than the sort of treatment this woman had. However, you did say that you'd have done it sooner rather than later and I think this is what has shocked most people. This woman was 57 and past the menopause when she began treatment and as Lettie says no doctor in this country would have condoned that.

I know what the desire to have a child feels like because for a long time I didn't think I would have any but then ended up with two, both quite naturally but it did make me older than I would have wanted to be when they were born, unfortunately that was not by choice.

If she doesn't have money who paid for all the treatment and as she is past working age now how is she going to support a child on her own if she doesn't have the wherewithalls? I wonder if we'll hear any more of the story as time goes on.

vorlon24 · 19-01-2005, 09:57

I very much doubt it Willow - the fact that she is the oldest mother is the bit that gets the news, not the facts about feeding, nappy changing, etc

Margaret Pilkington · 19-01-2005, 16:41

If you could not carry achild to full term kiTCHener, then maybe IVF would not have been the treatment of choice...... there may however been other methods to help you achieve a natural family of your own....... but I am sure you would not have waited until this womans age to seek treatment. This woman has had a successful career...... which she CHOSE over motherhood and after the menopause decided that she would have liked to experience being a mother. The blame for this mess must lie equally with the Doctor and the mother. I think it is a very sad situation.......there is a child who is going to have a mother that will not live to see her child reach maturity.

WillowTheWhisp · 19-01-2005, 22:45

Yes I'd have more sympathy for her if she had started to think of having a child when she was young enough to possibly conceive naturally, then finding she couldn't perhaps she may have sought help.

Maybe these days there are ways to help a person carry a child through the full term of the pregnancy. I've heard of women being kept in hospital and monitored throughout. That would be exhausting/wearying but probably worth it if the result was a success.

It sounds like you have a very well balanced family KiTChener, that many people would be proud of. To you and your wife your daughters are surely every bit your daughters and have made you proud grandparents.

I would normally never criticise anyone's family situation as we never know the reasons behind it (very young single parents, older mothers etc) but in this woman's case it is just too extreme.

Busman747 · 25-01-2005, 00:02

"The Mail on Sunday" has given an update on this story one week after the birth.

The Mother Adriana is not particularly wealthy and her flat is described as "dingy"

Baby Eliza Maria Bogdana is still lying in an incubater at the hospital and the only visitors are press photographers.....

Mum is one floor below and she admits "I can't go up there without a wheelchair and besides, I am afraid to hold her. I feel dizzy and she is so fragile. I will wait until we are both ready."

Poor kid, her life is already mapped out for her, Mum wants her to be brought up in the same way and same attitudes as herself. It will happen because she found the time (between holding interviews) to look up her daughters horoscope....

Mum was married in 1958 and the marriage failed just 4 years later and since then has remained chaste turning to religion instead.

She hopes to go back to her career as a university lecturer within the month and plans to leave baby Eliza with a hired nanny that is 61 and in desperate need of a hip transplant.

Dr. Bogdan Marinesca (baby Eliza has taken on the female equivelent of Bogdan as a surname) will not be charging for his services as he has a "live" advertisement for his IVF clinic which also specialises in "restoring virginities" to young gypsy girls at $100-00 (£50-00) per time (a small fortune in Romania)

I am speechless..........................

WillowTheWhisp · 25-01-2005, 08:00

Quote:

Originally Posted by Busman747

Mum is one floor below and she admits "I can't go up there without a wheelchair and besides, I am afraid to hold her. I feel dizzy and she is so fragile. I will wait until we are both ready."

Why is it that this bit is the part which immediately jumps out at me? She is afraid to hold her baby because she seems so fragile. Yes I can understand that but "I feel dizzy" ? Surely the hospital staff would ensure that she didn't drop the child if that's her concern. Don't most mothers want to pick up and hold their baby? I know I did. Even small and delicate babies the mother wants to hold, they reach out to inaccessible babies in incubators and long to touch them but this woman is waiting until they are both "ready". And when will that be? What of maternal bonding?

vorlon24 · 25-01-2005, 09:43

I am a father, and I wanted to hold my children as soon as they were born, so I am at a loss to understand why she would not want to hold her either.

pendy · 25-01-2005, 14:53

This whole sorry mess is made even sicker by the fact that this idiot woman apparently had at least two terminations (abortions) during her reproductive life, presumably because it was an inconvenient time.

I wish very much that I had met my partner at a time when we could have had children, but it was too late for us, and we have accepted that - and we are in a comfortable position to bring up a child, with other family around us. You cannot have everything - unfortunately that is what people seem to want today, if you want a gay lifestyle - the hell, pay somebody to have a baby for you, and then you can bring it up as "your own". If you want your career and then feel that you have missed out - no problem, some lunatic will sort it out for you. Never mind the child that results from these processes - you can't tell me that in either case that child will have a normal upbringing.

The lunatics have definitely taken over the asylum.

Margaret Pilkington · 25-01-2005, 16:05

Somehow society in general seems to have its priorities mixed up....... babies are disposable if it is inconvenient to have them, but can be 'bought' if you are old and have the money. I wonder if the doctor who helped this woman achieve her dream will take care of this child when old age and death overtake this selfish woman?
And if having a baby were such a dream, why does she not want to hold her dream?????

lettie · 25-01-2005, 16:36

The doctor who did this has only done it for the money and fame. I know that he has done her for free, but the publicity will probably earn him many referrals from couples wanting IVF. He will therefore reap the monetary rewards from them. He obviously has no morals and is unfit to call himself a doctor.

Tealeaf · 25-01-2005, 16:49

Interesting thread, this....but what about the worlds Oldest Dad? We often read about some old boy - usually a celebrity of some sort - who becomes a father at 70 or even 80, with a wife 40 years or so younger. Is'nt it a bit sexist to go on about this old trout when some old boy has taken on paternal responsibilites when he should be dozing away in front of the fire with his carpet slippers and pipe. Hows he going to play footy with his son/daughter?

WillowTheWhisp · 25-01-2005, 17:10

The difference there is that the mother is usually young and conceives naturally. Nature is such that a man is able to father a child in his later years. In this woman's case perhaps if there was a younger husband around it might not seem so bad. (I'm not getting into the ins and outs of age differences in marriage.) But she hasn't got any husband or indeed any other family as far as we are told. The younger mothers in your illustration Tealeaf will be able to look after their children. This woman is on her own.

Age isn't necessarily the only thing which can prevent a father from playing football with his son or daughter. What about a disabled parent? Should they be discouraged from having children?

Not all old fogies settle for the carpet slipper and pipe either. Some are very active. I know one who seems to have more energy for playing with young children than the average Dad after a hard days work.

vorlon24 · 25-01-2005, 17:16

That's all very well, but I think there are issues about men of the same/similar age to this woman.

Or are you implying that a father is not important to a child? I know that there are a lot of single parent families out there (I come from one myself), but I am of the opinion that both parents are equally important, for different reasons.

Tealeaf · 25-01-2005, 17:20

So are you saying the old dear won't be able to play footy with her kid, yet an old boy of the same age can? I don't understand the logic here....mind, I've never been able to understand women's logic, anyway.

WillowTheWhisp · 25-01-2005, 17:25

Oh no, I'm very much of the opinion that a father is important, sadly many people today don't seem to think so and the single mothers who see nothing wrong with using a "relationship" (I use that term loosely) in order to create a child have got their wires crossed just a little. I know of one father who has been excluded from all contact with his daughter. He knows she is his daughter and she knows he is her Dad but the mother and grandmother refuse to permit any contact.

I'm just using the facts of nature which are that a woman's ability to reproduce ceases at a certain age (for some this is earlier than others) whereas a man is capable of being a father much later in life.

I have friends where there is a fairly large age gap between the mother and the father. They have a large happy family. The father (no slippers and pipe for him) plays a very active role in his children's upbringing.