Young people today - Page 2

lettie · 14-10-2004, 17:04

It is impossible to lump all teenagers into one dysfunctional group. Some teenagers are well behaved and polite while others are nothing short of behaviourally challenged little gits. There may be many reasons for teenage behaviour some of them hormonal and a normal part of growing up, other reasons social, poor parenting, education and disciplinary factors. Been looking into Foetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders (formerly Foetal Alcohol Syndrome) The USA are spending a lot of time and money researching this disorder as it can cause learning difficulties, Dyspraxias, ADHD, antisocial behavior and personality disorders. Our local group 'FASawareUK' are fully supporting the USA research and have been calling for more research in this country. One of FASaware's speakers who lectured our group at Uni last week reckoned that a lot of teenage antisocial and violent behaviour was probably due to alcohol consumption by the mothers in pregnancy. It doesn't have to be a lot of alcohol, just one beer or glass of wine at a crucial stage of foetal development. This is what one New Zealand doctor had to say....
"Dr Kitson says a new term, Foetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD), has emerged to describe the full spectrum of effects of alcohol on foetal development. Characteristic problems include poor judgement and impulse control, an inability to foresee consequences and to learn from previous experience, inappropriate or immature behaviour and speech, language and other communication problems. Behavioural changes may also present as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder."
Sounds like lots of teenagers I know....

Whether there is any credibility to the US research about this topic, I don't yet know. My mate is doing this as a project so I'll let you know what she comes up with (if you are interested) I myself will be looking at good old heroin detox and the effects of subutex on the detox process (can't wait!!!)

WillowTheWhisp · 14-10-2004, 18:09

So, that's possibly the cause of it - now how do we remedy it?

And yes I think I said earlier that I know well-behaved young people as well as the horror stories.

Sophi · 14-10-2004, 18:18

Quote:

Originally Posted by princesshales

I'm a teen i'm not cheeky,i don't answer bck 2 teachers and i'm hard workin and always do hwk and class work. so i don't think its fair 2 say we all are lioke that

Hear hear...im a 15 year old, but im not a yob! Yeah, there are some teenagers who are yobs, but there are also adults who are just as bad...

JohnW · 14-10-2004, 19:23

I think Sophi and Princesshales, if you read the thread through, most of the contributors have stated that not all young people are yobs and that many are helpful and useful members of society. How about telling us why you think we have a yob problem. You must know some people of your age who behave antisocially. What do you think the reason(s) for this is? Do you have any ideas on what we, as a community, can do to persuade some of these yobs to behave better?

lettie · 14-10-2004, 19:27

I agree Sophi, but you have an interest in life, a goal to work towards and I hope one day to see you playing on the professional circuits. A lot of teenagers don't have the same direction in life and encouragement that you have.

At the moment, my best friend's 14 year old son is neither a yob nor a shining star, most of the time he's this thing who vegetates on the sofa and grunts at you when he's hungry. Hopefully like most teenagers, when he's decided what he wants to do with his life, he'll get off his jacksy and become a productive person (with any luck)

ANNE · 14-10-2004, 21:38

You cant tar all kids with the same brush.
Like everything else there are good and bad.
I have met some foul teenagers and some with better manners than a lot of older people.
Some elderly people I have come across have been the rudest,ignorant people that should know better.

Chappy · 14-10-2004, 22:32

Anne you certainly have got it right! It sounds like some people on here have a real downer on young people, even those that work with them? There would be an out cry if the same conversation was about muslims or negros etc. AND RIGHTLY SO. But it just goes to show that you cant discriminate by age nor race, sex or religion. There are good and bad in all and its time people started to think that way.

IJJusion · 14-10-2004, 22:56

hmm interesting, though since im still a "teenager" i better do what im supposed to

uhh Gmmm urg guah

Spirit_Phoenix · 14-10-2004, 23:04

so letties never been young and never enjoyed life and is confused why ppl would respond like that...i guess i should respond in a "teenager-like" fashion urgh

Busman747 · 14-10-2004, 23:32

WOW! This is a thread that could go on and on!! I have read what has so far been said..........and deduce that most is a load of PC C**p!

I am 52 years old, I remember my dad having a german leather belt which would be used if necessary across my posterior if I REALLY got out of hand! The headmaster at my junior school who had a "trainer" (plimsoll) in view on top of the cupboard as a warning that if we over-stepped the mark!.....

Neither was used,but the thought of being punished in front of my mates was enough to stop me from over-stepping the mark and doing something illegal!

When I stop to consider, It wasn't so much the threat of punishment that made me a "goody, goody!" but being disrespectful to my parents and bringing them down in the eyes of the local villagers!

Both my parents are dead now, they used to smack me if I done wrong, Threaten me with the strap if I broke a law , I THANK THEM! for giving me respect for others and their property!!

I DO NOT "hit kids" but in the past have "chastised" them with a calculated "smack," the end result is that I have 4 daughters (soon to be six, but that is another story lol) that totally respect the law of the land and respect the privacy of others!

I CAN HONESTLY SAY THAT THEY WOULD NOT BREAK THE LAW BECAUSE THEY RESPECT THEIR FAMILY, AND LIFE TOO MUCH!

My kids were the last of a generation that respected the rights of parents and the rights of others and I hope that their children will carry these thoughts with them. It is unlikely because children are becoming the "untouchables" and soon know their "rights" to sue their parents as well as becoming "untouchable" to the police because of their age!

Sorry John W, but this lifestyle came from the U.S.A, Maybe you are sheltered from the lifestyle of the average American, but what the Americans do now, the Brits follow.............

Darby · 15-10-2004, 07:18

I read this thread with great interest. What started as a simple statement about young people - good or bad, seems to have gone into a "You versus Us" match.

THIS IS NOT A LECTURE

Keep it simple. There are currently a lot of ingnorant and bad people...Young and old alike. On the other hand there are considerate and good people...young and old alike. I think that is a true statement.

From the postings on this thread I can immediately see words that paraphrase the Populist Press and Media, and do not exhibit "own thinking" and most of them unfortunately seem to come from the younger element. This worries me, as I have just said, there are good and bad everywhere. But being honest and thinking for one's self displays a greater level of understanding.
All of the foregoing may seem a bit stiff-necked, but its the only way I can describe it.

I like young people (I was one mi'sell once) they are our future. When I was young I was not one of the good ones...but I learnt. I have 2 sons aged 34 and 30, and 2 grandchildren aged 15 and 11, and I hope they can add something good to this horrible world (but the only one we have).

I worry about young people in todays climate of stupidity, ignorance, political correctness, hate, greed, and the low-life parasites who set extremely poor examples to them. My grand-daughter (15) was caught drinking at a party.................not drunk, but alcopop stuff. She said that it was the others who teased her into taking a drink! What should I do?

It's already been done...and she feels a whole lot better about the incident and she's still my loving grand-daughter, and we are still the best of friends.

I took to the bottle when I was 12 years old and started smoking at the same time...so I wasn't a goody-goody myself. Lots of people on this site have done things that were wrong, especially when they were young. Youth is a time to make mistakes...and correct them.

So an older person is just a young person who's aged! not deteriorated!

So let's just get on with life...but remember to learn from it (I still do, every day)

WillowTheWhisp · 15-10-2004, 07:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spirit_Phoenix

so letties never been young and never enjoyed life and is confused why ppl would respond like that...i guess i should respond in a "teenager-like" fashion urgh

Your response to Lettie confuses me. I can't see anywhere where she indicates that she doesn't enjoy life now let alone when she was a teenager. She did comment upon a teenager who seems hardly to be experiencing life let alone enjoying it.

I find it amusing when teenagers assume that us old uns have no idea what it's like to be their age. One day (when you get to be as old as us) you'll suddenly realise that you really aren't all that different. Have you seen the ad on TV, on the subject of pensions and preparing for retirement, where a woman (with a scouse accent) says "talk to me Dad, I'm only 17. I think I always will be." Inside every old fogey there's a teenager wondering where all the time went.

Of course we knew how to have fun, did crazy things, worried our parents to death when we got home late (didn't have mobile phones in those days to get in touch with them) rode motorbikes with the wind in our hair (before it became compulsory to wear crash helmets and before we realised how stupid it was). But I think we had respect for authority which in some (not all) young people today seems to be sadly lacking.

I don't think any of us would criticise anyone young or old for wanting to enjoy life. It's the attitude to others and lack of respect which many of us find rather sad. When I was a child it went without saying that you got up on a bus if an adult was standing and offered them your seat. I rarely see that nowadays. There seems to be an attitude of "I've paid for it. I'm sitting on it." But children pay half fair. It is only courtesy to offer that seat to an older person.

Chappy, I don't think it's a case of having a "downer" on all young people - from reading the initial post of the thread I got the impression that the author was speaking from personal experience and not generalising but talking about specific instances of young people he had tried to work with but who didn't seem to want to actually work.

I agree with you that there are good and bad in all ages as well as all races. The question has been posed - what suggestions do you have for dealing with the problems? Those who make the headlines in the papers are the ones we hear about - the bad experiences (schoolchildren throwing furniture at teachers) are the things we will remember - problems which need to be solved. How do you young people suggest we solve it? Or do you find it acceptable and feel that we should just let such people behave any way they wish?

You will be the ones living in the future, long after we are gone. It will be your world. What would you like it to be like? If I were a teenager today I'd like to think my future would be a positive one, not a potentially lawless society. I'd like to think that everyone would want the dignity of working to support themselves and their families. I'd like to see a bright, hopeful future for my children, but I often wonder if it's an impossible dream.

My cousin in America sent me details of how many shootings had taken place in US schools over the last few years (not shootings by crazed gunmen but by pupils at those schools) and it makes very depressing reading and yet JohnW lives in a part of America where things like this do not happen. It shouldn't happen anywhere. That's the point.

WillowTheWhisp · 15-10-2004, 07:33

It took me so long to type that little lot - you got in before me Darby!

Gobsmacked · 15-10-2004, 08:23

Quote:

Originally Posted by princesshales

I'm a teen i'm not cheeky,i don't answer bck 2 teachers and i'm hard workin and always do hwk and class work. so i don't think its fair 2 say we all are lioke that

I don't think anyone did say you were all 'like that'. Opinions were requested and opinions have been given. From what I have read I detect more intollerance of the older generation coming from the younger ones than vice versa.

Quote:

Originally Posted by wayneyboy1942

The more you have the more you want. I think a lot of kids now get spoilt, they seen to be bored all the time and have no understanding about how to respect other people. Having said that not all kids are like that and get tard with the same brush. It's an old saying but it realy is down to the parents.

How then do you explain why one teenage son of a friend of mine has gone totally 'off the rails' whilst the rest of the family behave admirably? He has the same parents as his siblings. If you ever become a parent yourself you'll realise that it isn't so easy. Do you do everything your parents ask/tell you to do?

However, I do agree with your comment about those who get everything they want and are subsequently bored yet assume that society owes them a living. It doesn't! I don't pay taxes to support layabouts who have no desire to work.

Quote:

Originally Posted by KIPAX

Of course he would.. and quite rightly so. A policeman or anyone else for that matter has no right to hit any child.. Full stop.. I am suprised anyone in todays society would advocate hitting children

Alas I fear your attitude (and the rest of the PC brigade along with you) is largely to blame for many of society's ills today. They know they can get away with God knows what and no-one can do anything about it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lampman

In the course of my employment,I encounter many teenaged people;most are foul mouthed and have no respect for property or other people.
They spit swear and fight and that's only the females.

I too have experience of todays youth - and echo your sentiments. Some (please note I said some and not all) young people today don't even seem to know the meaning of the word respect.

Quote:

Originally Posted by IJJusion

hmm interesting, though since im still a "teenager" i better do what im supposed to

uhh Gmmm urg guah

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spirit_Phoenix

so letties never been young and never enjoyed life and is confused why ppl would respond like that...i guess i should respond in a "teenager-like" fashion urgh

These two comments merely illustrate that neither of you seem to have read the thread very thoroughly let alone responded in an intelligent manner.

If you want to convince us that you are representatives of the better element of today's youth you aren't doing a very good job of it so far.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darby

My grand-daughter (15) was caught drinking at a party.................not drunk, but alcopop stuff. She said that it was the others who teased her into taking a drink! What should I do?

It's already been done...and she feels a whole lot better about the incident and she's still my loving grand-daughter, and we are still the best of friends.

Would that there were more like you in the world. Children need boundaries and they need to know what happens when they cross them. It isn't cruelty - it is kindness and a necessity. A child who is allowed 'personal freedom' and not punished so as not to infringe upon their human rights actually displays symptoms of neglect and indifference.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Busman747

I DO NOT "hit kids" but in the past have "chastised" them with a calculated "smack," the end result is that I have 4 daughters (soon to be six, but that is another story lol) that totally respect the law of the land and respect the privacy of others!

I CAN HONESTLY SAY THAT THEY WOULD NOT BREAK THE LAW BECAUSE THEY RESPECT THEIR FAMILY, AND LIFE TOO MUCH!

And whence came this respect? From the way you chastised them when they misbehaved. The PC brigade will have left a legacy that future generations will live to regret. Who is going to pick up the pieces?

For the record, my kids know that if they act out of line they will be punished. Some of that punishment may take the form of witholding certain privileges but we haven't been above a smack on the legs now and again when the behaviour warranted it.

Lampman · 15-10-2004, 08:26

Well,that was a good reponse!
As the author of the original posting I thank you for the time and effort in replying.
Now for my two pennyworth.
No of course not all teenagers are the same, we are all individuals,but personally I think things are getting worse by the day.
I work on the periphery of the Youth service(not myself a youth worker)Each day I see troubled teenagers in various moods,happy cheeky and carefree(as they should be).Moody and depressed(part of growing up).
Then I see the ones influenced by drink and drugs(sometimes both)foul mouth violent mini thugs.They bully and cajole their more timid peers constantly.
The Youth workers do an impossible job;befriending even the most vile behaved,in the hope that somewhere in the darkness a chink of light will be seen and that the youngster will grow through this difficult phase into a responsible adult.
I don't know the success rate,but suspect it is very low.
The teenagers misbehave then any person who tries to prevent them is verbally abused and always but alwaysthe rant ends with the time honoured phrase'Your'e not allowed to touch me'.
I myself am constantly facing verbal and sometimes physical threats.
Obviously I am seeing the darker side of youngsters behaviour,but the fact remains thousands of pounds are spent each year(by you dear taxpayer)to keep these kids off the streets and contained in one place.
The question is.
Is this money well spent?