Young people today - Page 6

Steven · 15-10-2004, 19:07

no we shoud not smack kids what ever the circumstance

WillowTheWhisp · 15-10-2004, 21:40

Kipax and Steven please tell me, and this is a genuine request, what do you do in a circumstance such as the one with fire which has been described? How do you rebuke a child who is too young to understand your reasoning? How do you get across to a child not to do something when they cannot understand the words "do not do that"?

How old are your children? How have you disciplined them?

Busman747 · 15-10-2004, 22:01

OK Kipax and Steven,
You are both completely against chastising children whatever their age. Please tell us, what is this magic formula you have used on your own children? You both keep repeating that fact but have so far been unable to enlighten us "smackers" as to any effective alternatives!

I said early on that I have smacked my children but am quite sure that none were chastised after the age of seven or eight, there was no need!

One of my children stopped receiving smacks at the age of 4 when it became apparent that she did not feel the sting of a slap on the hand or lower leg.....and rather than hit harder, it was a joint decision between my wife and myself that other options were looked at. One of the problems is that if a parent makes a threat of any kind, it has to be carried out if the child ignores the adult, so one day it came to pass that an assortment of toys, dolls and other paraphinalia ended up littering the back garden after being ejected through the bedroom window! That was the first and last time I said in anger, "clean up your room or it all goes out the window!"

Another of my children was completely the opposite, the mere threat of a smack would reduce her to tears...not because she was afraid of being hurt but because if it reached that point, she knew that her Mum or Dad was really angry at her and she hated upsetting us. Thinking back, I don't think she was ever actually smacked at all!

Like most parents, we tried alternatives, go to bed early, no playing out with friends etc etc and I found that these caused a lot of resentment from my children which is far more damaging long-term than a smack (which is followed swiftly with a cuddle providing there is an apology or promise to do the task they originally failed to do)

My youngest is now 25 so this all happened a long time ago but after seeing the results, I do not consider myself a "wicked" Dad and am proud of all my girls and their attitudes to life.

So please Kipax and you also Steve, Give us your examples on how to correct misbehaving children!

KIPAX · 15-10-2004, 22:01

You dont put a child in that sort of danger in the first place.... Hardly rocket science now is it.

I suppose I now lose karma and get moaned at for not endangering my children..

Pathetic

KIPAX · 15-10-2004, 22:04

busman... calm down... it isnt a mortal sin not to hit children you know... .

WillowTheWhisp · 15-10-2004, 22:07

Are you now implying that some of us wilfully put our children in dangerous situations?

Has your life really been so perfect? Or are you just avoiding the issue?

Busman747 · 15-10-2004, 22:08

Of course not Kipax, I am full of admiration if you have managed to bring up children without either you or your wife smacking them even the once. I am merely asking what your secret is? How do you persuade your children to "tow the line?"

Gobsmacked · 15-10-2004, 22:11

Edited at the request of Kipax.

Gobsmacked · 15-10-2004, 22:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by KIPAX

busman... calm down... it isnt a mortal sin not to hit children you know... .

He sounds perfectly calm to me. If anyone seems to be getting hot under the collar you are the one giving that impression.

I too would appreciate your magic formula for correcting children. If it works so well why not share with the rest of us. Don't expect us to believe that your children have never done anything wrong.

Gobsmacked · 15-10-2004, 22:22

I have complied with your request, Kipax despite the fact that I did not accuse anyone of hitting anyone. Please learn the difference.

Now I see that your request has been deleted completely.

I would still like to repeat my request that you share with us exactly how you discipline your children and how old they are - and how well it works. If you think we are wrong to smack our children then please explain to us your alternative.

KIPAX · 15-10-2004, 22:23

After the recent post by gobsmacked i am now leaving this thread..

my last word is..

I dont hit my children

Its a shame some of you think thats such a crime ......

Busman747 · 15-10-2004, 22:24

Quote:

Originally Posted by KIPAX

You dont put a child in that sort of danger in the first place.... Hardly rocket science now is it.

I suppose I now lose karma and get moaned at for not endangering my children..

Pathetic

Most people have a variety of fires and heaters in their house, even radiators can cause burns on skin (especially babies) Perhaps the family dog, normally so placcid decides that it doesn't like its bone being removed from its mouth and gives a warning growl, or maybe those three little holes in the wall that mum or dad puts things like plugs into start to become facsinating, can I get my little finger in there?

Its not pathetic Kipax, its real life. If someone is removing your precious Karma points, (NO, not me, can't be bothered) it would be because of your stick-in-the-mud attitude, not your views on not smacking. I would guess that there are many members waiting to see your solutions to this problem, don't keep your audience waiting too long. (or you Steven when you come back on-line)

Gobsmacked · 15-10-2004, 22:29

We'll have a long wait Busman - he has declined to answer us.

I would like to know his solution but he isn't about to share it with us. He has 'left the thread'

In my own personal experience the only children I am aware of who have never been smacked have turned into nasty little pieces of work who think they can get away with murder.

Kipax assures us his children are well-behaved yet he will not share with the rest of us how he has acheived this.

Chappy · 15-10-2004, 23:16

WOW what a thread ! How on earth are the mature(ish) people on here expect youths to behave when they cant even do that themselves. I have to laugh at some of the childishness on here? Yes a serious subject but come on guys some of the adults have reverted to being children now or were they ever grownup?

To attemt to bring back a laugh im just lookin at the new LAROS (local authority road safety officers asociation) sticker. quote : " Hug your kids at home.... Belt them in the car..." Ouch !Is it about seat belts or have they been reading this website ??

Maybe Kipax gave his kids love and affection, and gave them respect when the did something right? shame most adults today cant give youths respect to.

Another point gone by the wayside is that yes there are plenty of incidents of young people commiting crime. But arnt our prisons bursting with adults who were brought up in this ideal discipline word of 50 years ago ???? Oh yeh murderers rapists peadophiles.

Is it not the old ones on here thats brought up the children of today??

Give our children a chance! its up to us to show them respect. Unless we give them respect we should not expect it back?

Busman747 · 16-10-2004, 00:48

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chappy

Maybe Kipax gave his kids love and affection, and gave them respect when the did something right? shame most adults today cant give youths respect to.

Is it not the old ones on here thats brought up the children of today??

Give our children a chance! its up to us to show them respect. Unless we give them respect we should not expect it back?

I see where you are coming from Chappy but to answer your points:

Yes, Kipax may (and probably does) give his kids love and affection, no one questions that....but he was blinkered in his reply to exactly how he stopped his children from doing wrong,

"Is it not the old ones on here thats brought up the children of today??" ....NO!! You are old enough to remember the decades of respect!

Things started going sour a couple of decades ago when the phrase "P.C." was invented! Are you old enough to remember the village bobby? or the teachers that were a substitute parent between the hours of 9am to 3.30 pm? Can you honestly say that your parents never chastised you from birth to the age of seven? If not, what kept you on the straight and narrow. please tell!!

"Give our children a chance! its up to us to show them respect. Unless we give them respect we should not expect it back"

We give them respect until they show that they do not deserve it. I would like to think that the majority of kids today are law abiding and honest but.......have you tried walking through a major town like Burnley or Blackburn at midnight? As a coach driver, I have, and the feeling you get is HOSTILE! Halifax in my opinion is the worst town in the north, After 11pm, it seems to be a "no go" area for police, let alone sober coach drivers!

This is NOT a problem caused by just parents, whether they smack their kids or not, the P.C. brigade state that we should not "chastise" our children, so it is frowned upon, The youth quickly learn that THEY are in control and are immune to parents, teachers, police...etc etc!! 10 years ago, they learnt that they could beat someone up and get away with it because they are "under age" Today, they can shoot a gun at a victim and plead that they "found the gun" and didn't realise the consequences of pulling the trigger!" HOGWASH!!

Kids of today have us old'uns over a barrel and they know it! Smack and I'll sue, Swear and I'll sue!....

At this point, I would like to state that there are many kids that still have respect but I wonder if the percentage has dropped to below 50%??? The question is that of the remaining "thugs" How many have been pampered by parents that "do not feel it is nessesary to "smack" their kids when they are young?"

I recall one lad that was given "the benefit of the doubt" by his parents, and at the age of 16, ruled the household, regularly, beating up his parents because he was angry or upset! He was never brought to justice by the authorities because his parents were too afraid of him, but everyone in the village knew what was going on because he was "proud" of his achievements and boasting gave him "street cred"

Ask your sons or daughters how important "street cred" is.........you may be shocked by their answers!