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Old 19-12-2004, 13:10   #1
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You've got to laugh, haven't you?

To prove that they are even more removed from reality than heretofore suspected, "Barking" Britcliffe and Jean Battle have spoken on the issue of the semi-pedestrianised area in front of the Town Hall, you know the one, it is where one of the owners of Andy's Florists was run over a couple of months back.

In this weeks Observer, Jean Battle Describes the road as "...increasingly dangerous for pedestrians and shoppers, I am really fearful someone is going to be involved in an accident." Bit behind the times there Jean, love. It has already happened - several times!

Meanwhile, HBC's running joke "Barking" Britcliffe, has sorted it all out. " I have described this road as a bed-settee." he squeaked. Well, that's allright then, problem sorted. Nothing needs to be done because the road is now a Bed-Settee, and everyone knows that you do not need to worry about conducting a feasibility study to close a bed-settee to traffic, since bed-settee's are not normally open to traffic in the first place.

I wonder what his next pronouncement will be?

"I have decided to describe the town's regeneration areas as big fluffy pink things that go bleep!"?

Thus ensuring that they too are no longer seen as a problem and the time and expense saved can be better spent on lining up the next trough to sink his nose into?

May cannot come too quickly!
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Old 20-12-2004, 18:04   #2
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Re: You've got to laugh, haven't you?

I can remember (I bet others can, too) one lady in Church whose bed-settee was most DEFINITELY open to traffic!

You can call a thing by any name you like, it doesn't change its nature. Either pedestrianise it, or leave it as a road. Simple, but probably too simple for great brains like B&B.
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Old 20-12-2004, 21:31   #3
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Re: You've got to laugh, haven't you?

Why don`t they put a lifting barrier at either end of the town hall section and issue bus companies with remote controls to raise and lower it...or is that too simple?
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Old 20-12-2004, 22:31   #4
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Re: You've got to laugh, haven't you?

Apparently the ambulance service would disapprove.
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Old 20-12-2004, 23:12   #5
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Re: You've got to laugh, haven't you?

A bed-settee? roflmao. I think I know what he's trying to say. It's neither the one thing nor t'other. A bed settee doesn't really make a comfortable bed nor does it have the long term stamina to serve as a full time settee. Likewise the road is neither a road nor a pedestrian area, but I have never known that particular metaphor to be used before. Perhaps he's in need of a lie down.
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