Vagina Monologues a Review

Less · 09-03-2006, 10:24

This is only my opinion given to you from the view point of a mere male.

From what I could see the ladies on the front row had the best seats because they were given copies of the script so that they could keep track of the events, for some baffling reason they faced the rest of the audience and would not have been able to see what was going on behind them!
There must have been a delay in the start of the actual performance because these brave souls took it upon themselves to give some sort of introduction ready for the star performer to arrive with the amplifiers and other such pieces of equipment.

I will however just backtrack a little to the moment when the group of people I was with arrived to save them embarrassment I will not name the individuals in our party of six but it consisted of four men and two 'ladies'. The men of our party arrived in dirty macs and wearing a pair of those 'Geek' glasses each, on seeing us Gayle (who I will name because nothing can embarrass her), greeted us warmly, shaking each one of us gently by the neck.

We knew something was about to happen because the bar closed, from our vantage point at the back (next to the ash-trays), we heard, nothing! So we moved half way down the room to the bar area were we could then at last hear something, the something was the constant drone of the beer coolers working away which also drowned out what was going on.

It was a strange thing to see 500 women determined to enjoy themselves, obviously the people on the first six rows heard whatever was said and laughed at the funny bits, from there like a ripple in a pond the laughter changed to be more of a sort of polite I don't know whats going on but I'm going to laugh anyway. Those at the very back must have read the book and learned it by heart because I know that is the only way they could join in with the jollity of the evening!

Well, having stood tapping our feet to the rhyhtm of the beer coolers for what seemed to be an eternity but probably was only 20 minutes we decided to do the only sensible thing any man could do in a bar with no beer, leave and go to the Crown (excellent beers and a friendly welcome from the landLADY).
As we left the coven to themselves the only bit of entertainment the rear of the audience could have enjoyed was to join together and cheer at our departure, thanks girls we love you too!

Please note I cannot criticise the vagi' monologue because I didn't hear a word of it, it was obviously a topic close to the heart (has it moved I hear you ask?), of the many women that turned up but please, please, Gayle, next time you do this sort of thing ask that nice man the MANager of the bar and he will organise the use of the clubs P.A. system.
If you do that I might, only might, don't hold me to it, turn up next year and give a proper opinion of this little enactment! Oh if I am there next year could you get them to announce when the bar is shutting so I can get a few beers in before the show starts.

Less · 09-03-2006, 11:41

One other entertaining moment that I think deserves a mention was when Staggers', I mean Freds' (he did put an X for no publicity), mobile went off right at the beginning (his ring tone was a baby crying), and he had to walk right through the middle of the audience to get to the outside door so he could answer it. (What a great bit that was I do hope they keep it in for next year!), That made it worth £5 of anybodys money. (Gayle the cheques in the post.

).

Tealeaf · 09-03-2006, 12:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by Less

One other entertaining moment that I think deserves a mention was when Staggers', I mean Freds' (he did put an X for no publicity), mobile went off right at the beginning (his ring tone was a baby crying), and he had to walk right through the middle of the audience to get to the outside door so he could answer it..

).

That wasn't me that rang him. Honest!

Did you boys slash out on a souvenir programme, assuming one was available?

Gayle · 09-03-2006, 17:40

Well I can't argue that sound was a problem. Despite being told a couple of times to speak up I too think a couple of our girls were too quiet. Having said that no one complained at the end of the evening and even people who sat at the back said they enjoyed it. As you said, there were a large number of women there and everyone seemed to laugh in all the right places so from our point we weren't really aware of any big issue.

Rob did offer us a microphone but it was more scary than ever for a couple of the girls - remember that apart from me there was no one with any real sort of experience at all (other than doing the same thing last year). Even I don't like using microphones and yet I'm very comfortable on a stage.

When I challenged you all to come, I really didn't believe that you would, and I was also pretty sure that it wouldn't be your taste but I'm really grateful that you came. As I said on the night, I have absolutely no issue now with you calling it to bits because at least you're doing it from an informed position.

You're quite fair to mention the sound and it is something that really needs addressing for next year, I hope you could at least hear me?

PS - was I good?

MANDS · 09-03-2006, 17:43

And it was not his wife ringing either!!!!!!!!!!

Gayle · 09-03-2006, 17:43

Oh, I forgot, a few women at the back did complain that they couldn't hear the first few monologues because there were a few blokes at the bar chattering amongst themselves!

garinda · 09-03-2006, 17:44

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gayle

PS - was I good?

It depends.

Did any of the Accy Web men folk give you a standing ovation?

Will your part be reviewed in next week's Oberver?

Gayle · 09-03-2006, 18:39

No, there won't be any reviews - at least I don't think there will be, we didn't invite the press.

Less · 09-03-2006, 23:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gayle

Oh, I forgot, a few women at the back did complain that they couldn't hear the first few monologues because there were a few blokes at the bar chattering amongst themselves!

In actual fact Gayle, we were better than mice until a Lady came back from the toilets and tried to get served at the bar, she was promptly refused (boo), and we, whispered an explanation to her and were shussed by the other 'ladies'.
We were alot better behaved and far more polite than the dominant species of the night! Blame us if you want but at that time we were trying to help, but being judged by the ill informed majority (who probably had been frustrated by the lack of sound!).
If they could hear easily they would not have noticed us in any way shape or form! Shy of the microphone? sack 'em and get someone that is proud to talk about their fa*ny!

Less · 10-03-2006, 00:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gayle

I have absolutely no issue now with you calling it to bits because at least you're doing it from an informed position.

You're quite fair to mention the sound and it is something that really needs addressing for next year, I hope you could at least hear me?

PS - was I good?

Oh, Gayle you've gone all womanly on me! I have already said at the beginning of this thread that I can't refer to it from an informed point of view,
I couldn't hear it, at least half the room if they were brave enough and honest enough would have said, Speak up we can't hear you!
But you choose to pick out the bits that suit you, I was once married to a mind like that, I'm no Mr. Spock but it is sooo femininely illogical!

As for were you good? By the end of the night after going to the Crown and then the Hope and Anchor, all I can remember is I did share a taxi home with someone, if it was you then yes you were excellent (Though the fried bread in the morning would have been better if cooked in real bacon fat rather than cooking oil, yuckkkk), if it wasn't you then maybe the next time honey!!!!!!

Gayle · 10-03-2006, 09:26

I'm not arguing with you, you don't need to shout - I've accepted that there was a problem with sound and that a couple of the girls were too quiet.

PS - don't get so defensive (haven't you accused me of that in the past?) I was joking about the noise you were making - you didn't stay around long enough to upset that many people.

Less · 10-03-2006, 10:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gayle

I'm not arguing with you, you don't need to shout - I've accepted that there was a problem with sound and that a couple of the girls were too quiet.

PS - don't get so defensive (haven't you accused me of that in the past?) I was joking about the noise you were making - you didn't stay around long enough to upset that many people.

So it wasn't you in the taxi then?

Neil · 10-03-2006, 11:41

Quote:

Originally Posted by garinda

Will your part be reviewed in next week's Observer?

Some sad person was complaining in the letters section about a scantily clad picture in last weeks Observer.
I doubt they would dare review Gayle's virgina part.

garinda · 10-03-2006, 12:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neil

Some sad person was complaining in the letters section about a scantily clad picture in last weeks Observer.
I doubt they would dare review Gayle's virgina part.

That's a pity, they should send a reviewer to every theatrical opening.

Gayle · 10-03-2006, 12:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by garinda

That's a pity, they should send a reviewer to every theatrical opening.

They perhaps would have done if they had been invited (local press seem to need to be invited to stuff like this) but we didn't invite them because it would not have served any publicity purposes - in that we weren't doing any future shows that a reviewer could have encouraged people to come to or not.