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Welcome to Accrington Web! We are a discussion forum dedicated to the towns of Accrington, Oswaldtwistle and the surrounding areas, sometimes referred to as Hyndburn! We are a friendly bunch please feel free to browse or read on for more info. You are currently viewing our site as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, photos, play in the community arcade and use our blog section. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please, join our community today! |
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19-03-2006, 22:37
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Always EVIL within us
  
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Accrington
Posts: 1,568
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30 lines to make you smile
 Thirty Lines To Make You Smile -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't. 2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. 3. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me! 4. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. 5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. 6. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. 7. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me. 8. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. 9. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe. 10. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing. 11. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. 12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine. 13. God must love stupid people; He made so many. 14. The gene pool could use a little chlorine. 15. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. 16. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? 17. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it! 18. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up. 19. Procrastinate Now! 20. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That? 21. A hangover is the wrath of grapes. 22. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance. 23. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere! 24.They call it PMS because MadCow Disease was already taken. 25. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead. 26. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory. 27. Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. 28. The trouble with life is there's no background music. 29. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson. 30. I smile! because I don't know what the hell is going on.
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Pray that there is intelligent life somewhere up in space, 'Cause there's Bu""er all down here on Earth - (Eric Idle) |
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19-03-2006, 23:08
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Resting in Peace
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Clayton-le-Moors
Posts: 10,551
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Re: 30 lines to make you smile
And thirty smiles there Busman before I go to bed ready for Monday morning, think I may choose one as my motto... thank you for that.
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19-03-2006, 23:50
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God Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: on the edge of insanity
Posts: 5,335
Blog Entries: 9
Liked: 4 times
Rep Power: 159
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Re: 30 lines to make you smile
Quote:
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20-03-2006, 20:38
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Beacon of light
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Clayton-le-moors
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Re: 30 lines to make you smile
Oh Thank you, thank you, thank you......although i have seen and heard quite a few of these.......your post still made me smile!
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The world will not be destroyed by evil people... It will be destroyed by those who stand by and do Nothing. (a paraphrase on a quote by Albert Einstein) |
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21-03-2006, 18:39
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Always EVIL within us
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Accrington
Posts: 1,568
Blog Entries: 4
Liked: 40 times
Rep Power: 1669
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Re: 30 lines to make you smile
Glad you all enjoyed 30 ways, Its nice to know that it has raised a titter or two.
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Pray that there is intelligent life somewhere up in space, 'Cause there's Bu""er all down here on Earth - (Eric Idle) |
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21-03-2006, 23:56
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Resident Waffler
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Accrington, Hyndburn
Posts: 18,142
Blog Entries: 14
Liked: 14 times
Rep Power: 1061
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Re: 30 lines to make you smile
Quote:
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