A Cry From The Heart

Less · 07-06-2005, 13:30

I am at my wits end, without any prior warning my wife packed
her suitcase and left me.
The fact that she emptied our joint bank account doesn't worry me unduly, as with the family allowance on our thirteen children under the age of 16 and the board money that I charge my ten older children I should soon make up the shortfall.

After 25 years of partnership and two years of marriage, (well we just seemed too busy to get round to it). Could you please, please, tell me how I can get in touch with my wonderful partner so that I can beg her to come back...........

AND TAKE HER MOTHER!

Steph · 07-06-2005, 14:06

how rude...

Mick · 07-06-2005, 14:08

Less
I have just received a letter off YOUR wife knowing you would be on Accyweb she asked me to pass it on to you.
“Less I have left you for a younger man.
After having 23 kids I an sick of feeding them especially the eldest 4 as my nipples are very sore, so you can see how it feels YOU can now have a go at feeding them.
I am sick of running round after that demented budgie of yours trying to wipe its ass while you lay on the sofa sleeping, so again I will leave it with you to do when you wake up.
When you do wake up you go straight to that pub with your friends Mick and mez and NEVER ask me to go well you could have taken all the kids with you and let me have a rest like you do i am sure that paul that works there sometime would let the younger kids have crisps for dinner you know how they like to spead there food about .
My new boy friend is a quiet lad he has a smallholding, he lives on his own with 4 sheep, and a horse.
When I have settled in I will call round for my bag and I will take the suitcase too
But first we are off on holiday for 2 months thankyou for the money it was sweet of you to save up for me.”
Hope I never see you again.
Your ex

ER SORRY LESS DONT SHOOT THE MESSINGER

Mick · 07-06-2005, 14:39

THESE ARE TWO PM'S THAT LESS AND HIS WIFE SHOULD HAVE SENT TO EACH OTHER BUT I GOT THEM INSTEAD AND HAD TO PASS ON

To My Dear Wife,
You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you with your 55 years can no longer supply. I am very happy with you and value you as a good wife. Therefore after reading this pm I hope you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don't be perturbed. I shall be back home before midnight.

Your Loving,less

My Dear less

I received your pm and thank you for your honesty. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 55 years old. At the same time, I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Paul, my tennis coach, who like your secretary is also 18 years old. As you have some knowledge of Math, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although there is one small difference: 18 goes into 54 more often than 54 goes into 18.

Therefore I will not be back before lunchtime tomorrow.

Your Loving Wife..

I wish people would sent there PM'S to the right people

Less · 07-06-2005, 15:29

Quote:

Originally Posted by mick

My new boy friend is a quiet lad he has a smallholding, he lives on his own with 4 sheep, and a horse.
When I have settled in I will call round for my bag and I will take the suitcase too

If he has four sheep why does he need you?
If he only has a smallholding what use is he to the horse?

When you get here you will find the suitcase ready packed and the Bag under the cloth I use to cover the budgies cage, (it seems to be the only thing that stops her teeth from rattling when she breaks wind).