Winter has come an' I'm freezing, fingers and toes are dead.
Chillblains are grippin', nose is drippin' from the cold in me 'ead.
Slide to me car on dark morning, door's jammed, the air is blue.
Can't even ride now I'm inside, window's are iced up too.
Out once again with ice scraper, hands gone completely numb,
Work up a sweat but it ain't cleared yet. Slip and land on me bum.
Half an hour later all frost's shifted so I can see to drive.
Engine is runnin', car's hummin', windows steam up inside.
Rub a clear space across windscreen, God, Winter's such a pain.
Have I gone blind? Oh, never mind, outside froze up again.
Skid into town, a few near misses, no gritter's been in sight.
Slidin' and hoppin' I do me shoppin', then Marks' café for a bite.
Gather me bags, prepared for skidding, got to get home somehow.
While I had me scone the frost has all gone. It's bl**dy peeing down now.