Customised Condoms

Tealeaf · 13-10-2003, 12:33

        FOR THE MAN & WOMAN WHO HAS EVERYTHING

                    THE FERRARI, THE BOAT

                      THE CHATEAU IN FRANCE

....now comes how to impress the new love of your life...

                                 with....
                                                                                                          TEALEAFS CUSTOMISED CONDOMS

Yes, folks, what you've been looking for all your life has finally arrived......No more messing around bog-standard Durex Ribbed, the rogue Branson's dirty little Mates, or 10 for a quid small size from Poundstretchers on the market..............You can now get your very own, individually marked condoms.......what more do you need at that crucial moment to impress the one you want......

Individually stamped with your name and piccy on the bacofoil, printed with either poems or adult piccys ( either way up), and coming in one of 3 wild exotic flavours:

             a) Potato Pie

             b) Dandelion & Burdock

             c) Smokey Bacon Crisps

...This offer is exclusive to members of the Accringtonweb, and is made at the never-to-be-repeated 2003 Christmas Special price of £99.99 per gross plus £3.50 p & p.

Just send your order to Tealeaf at his personal message board..

NEW!

PERSONALISED CONDOM EXCESSORIES!

Do you need somewhere personal to put your faboulous new condoms......

JUST IN STOCK..

Thongs and Y fronts.....all with a personalised condom pouch....in Orange & blue polkadot

REMEMBER FOLKS...

YOU'RE NEVER ALONE WITH A PERSONALISED CONDOM..

MADE & TESTED IN ACCRINGTON (Not Church - we don't want to give the town a bad name, do we?)
 

Jo · 13-10-2003, 12:50

Mik D has honeyroast chicken flavour, can you get them too?

Tealeaf · 13-10-2003, 12:56

Could be difficult...what about Chicken Fried Rice?

happyone · 13-10-2003, 14:18

chicken flavour omg that would be fowel   ;D

Tealeaf · 13-10-2003, 14:37

Anybody remember the rubber chicken song?

Jo · 13-10-2003, 14:38

I remember the birdie song

Tealeaf · 13-10-2003, 14:47

...Yeah, I was confusing that with The Goodies...."Funky Chicken" circa 1975.......a bit before your time..!

janet · 13-10-2003, 17:51

tea leaf, you are absolutely stark raving MAD but also a very funny chappie. [smiley=thumbsup.gif]

lettie · 13-10-2003, 18:43

 The chicken song? was that the hold a chicken in the air, stick a deckchair up your nose one ???

back in black · 13-10-2003, 19:55

thats the one lettie  

 classic track   lol not !!

Mik Dickinson · 17-10-2003, 16:34

Luvvvverly stuff.How about Honey Roast Ham flavour.find this very witty.Prefer the ones that light up in the dark though.Flourescent condoms rule.

Tealeaf · 17-10-2003, 16:43

No problem, Mik.....chicken,  beef all working out fine. Just use an Oxo cube with a few other flavours as the base marinade...keep them in there overnight then dry 'em out.

The only major problem I've got is on the packaging.....I was thinking of going down to ASDA and asking that bloke on the wet fish stall if I could barrow that machine he uses to seal up the fish...its a hot press, but keeps the fish flavour from escaping. If I told him what I wanted it for, do you think he would let me barrow it.

An awful lot of you have dropped me a personal message asking if I could possibly do a "Thorntons Continental Chocalate Christmas Selection"....please rest assured, I'm working on this and will keep you posted

Mik Dickinson · 20-10-2003, 06:49

Jo what about biscuit flavoured ones.Make sure they are not too crumbly though.do not want it getting too uncomfortable.

Tealeaf · 20-10-2003, 12:56

Yeah, I know........I tried doing "Ferro Roche" flavour & texture. I tried both Rice Crispies and crushed digestive biscuits....the ASDA own brand were worse than useless...but Kelloggs & McVities were OK. The only problem was the binding agent....just could'nt get the stuff to stick. Bits falling off all over the place....any suggestions? I've tried egg white - no good.