Disaster hits kent.

mrskitty · 12-02-2007, 21:41

My friends in kent keep me updated with emails as to whats going on in my home town and surrounding places-made me chuckle when i recieved this.
Sorry if something similar has been posted before.

Sheerness was established as the epicentre of an earthquake measuring 5.9 on the Richter Scale at 06.45 on Friday 9th February.

Victims were seen wandering around the streets of Sheppey aimlessly shouting "insert swear words here". The earthquake has reportedly decimated the area and has caused at least £30 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of momentoes from the "Balearics" and " Spanish Costas" were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were awoken well before their Giros arrived. Kent News reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered with the fact that something interesting had occurred in Sheppey.

One resident, Tracey Sharon Smith, a 15 year old Mother of 5, was still in a state of shock when being interviewed, said "My little Chardonnay Mercedes came running and screaming into my room but fortunately my youngest two, Tyler Morgan and Megan Storm, slept through the whole fing,the others were with there dads"!

Apparently car crimes, mugging and shootings carried on as normal. The British Red Cross has managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to alleviate the initial crisis. Rescue workers are still searching the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings including benefit books and bone china from Poundland and jewellery from Elizabeth Duke. An appeal has gone out for food and clothing to help those caught up in the disaster. Clothing most sought after includes Fila or Burberry baseball caps, Kappa tracksuit tops, shellsuits (white) and white sports socks. Food parcels may be harder to come by but are needed all the same. Required foodstuffs include microwave readymeals, tins of baked beans, ice cream and cans of Special Brew or white Lightening. 22p will buy a biro to help fill out the compensation forms. £2 will buy chips, crisps and a blue fizzy drink for a family of 9. £5 will pay for a packet of Benson and Hedges to help calm the nerves of those affected.

Please do not send tents for shelter as the sight of posh housing is unfair on the populations of Quinton, Kemsley, Murston and Milton.

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However, we do concede, a significant number of electrons may have been inconvenienced.

mrskitty · 13-02-2007, 01:45

This is dangerously looking like its gona be my first thread with no replies!!!

SPUGGIE J · 13-02-2007, 19:03

Ok I will reply just to put your mind at ease.

mrskitty · 14-02-2007, 08:34

Thanks spug-or maybe your doing it in fear of me showing those pictures of you i have on my phone haha

SPUGGIE J · 14-02-2007, 09:11

Well Accymel shoved hers on the thread so can you.

garinda · 14-02-2007, 09:58

I take it you're not planning to go back to visit relatives in Kent anytime soon?

An earthquake would have also devastated the power station at Sheerness (good thing), but also destroyed the beautiful garden, created on the beach by the late film director Derek Jarman (bad thing).

mrskitty · 14-02-2007, 10:24

Quote:

Originally Posted by garinda

I take it you're not planning to go back to visit relatives in Kent anytime soon?

An earthquake would have also devastated the power station at Sheerness (good thing), but also destroyed the beautiful garden, created on the beach by the late film director Derek Jarman (bad thing).

ooh my first admirer at primary school was called Aaron Jarman!wonder if they are related...

and as for visiting my family soon......erm no,i moved away for a reason and it wasn't due to the smell of Milton creek (although in summer we all wanted to move away due to the stench)

garinda · 14-02-2007, 14:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by misskitty

ooh my first admirer at primary school was called Aaron Jarman!wonder if they are related...

and as for visiting my family soon......erm no,i moved away for a reason and it wasn't due to the smell of Milton creek (although in summer we all wanted to move away due to the stench)

This is his acclaimed garden that he created on the beach at Dungeness. I met him a couple of times, but I don't think he ever had any children though.