Don't Panic Everything Is Normal...

[Less]

So, there I was walking home not wanting to make my evening meal. No problem Thought I, my favourite take away just round the corner I'll call there.
New staff, it is English these folk are talking, but not as I know it.
A couple of minutes go by I learn he's asking what do you want?
(This was because the Manager came out to check the till), I replied that I would like a meat kibab.
Several more minutes, one to one me and the chef, him, no chickouber kibab, (eventually manager comes out no he wants a meat kibab).
The chef goes off to prepare the food.
The Manager because this had caused a queue and because, lets face it I don't understand English as it should be pigieoned, thought he would speed things up, so took over my order.
Yowonslad?
I didn't understand so shrugged, (this guy obviously has been here long enough to understand how the English deal with foreigners that don't understand, he paused, he looked at me as if I'm stupid, raised his voice and repeated YOWONSLAD?
I immedietly understood, yes I want salad on it.

Could I, I hesitated to add have that nice red sauce not the mint sauce you usually give with kibab?

Norminsus, ka
( that I thought to be no mint sauce, wrong, more mint sauce,(charged extra)).
I paid up front, sat down relieved that my ordeal was over.
Oh no, busy reading my newspaper, a young lady taps me on the shoulder points to the counter indicating the chef wishes to speak to me.
He says, yowenreetinorrout?
I don't understand and we dance around the genuine idea's laid down for nation speaking unto nation and fail.
The young lady that so kindly drew my attention to the chef decides to translate, judenmeetonkrouts?
She's Polish and only been here three days!
Turns out both were asking, do you want to eat in or out?
I'm getting just a little tired, just give me my order I scream, I'll wimper at home!
My order arrives I dash for home,
Open up a chicken kibab, no salad, with extra portion of mint sauce,

Yep, everything is normal.

[jaysay]

Originally Posted by Less

So, there I was walking home not wanting to make my evening meal. No problem Thought I, my favourite take away just round the corner I'll call there.
New staff, it is English these folk are talking, but not as I know it.
A couple of minutes go by I learn he's asking what do you want?
(This was because the Manager came out to check the till), I replied that I would like a meat kibab.
Several more minutes, one to one me and the chef, him, no chickouber kibab, (eventually manager comes out no he wants a meat kibab).
The chef goes off to prepare the food.
The Manager because this had caused a queue and because, lets face it I don't understand English as it should be pigieoned, thought he would speed things up, so took over my order.
Yowonslad?
I didn't understand so shrugged, (this guy obviously has been here long enough to understand how the English deal with foreigners that don't understand, he paused, he looked at me as if I'm stupid, raised his voice and repeated YOWONSLAD?
I immediately understood, yes I want salad on it.

Could I, I hesitated to add have that nice red sauce not the mint sauce you usually give with kibab?

Norminsus, ka
( that I thought to be no mint sauce, wrong, more mint sauce,(charged extra)).
I paid up front, sat down relieved that my ordeal was over.
Oh no, busy reading my newspaper, a young lady taps me on the shoulder points to the counter indicating the chef wishes to speak to me.
He says, yowenreetinorrout?
I don't understand and we dance around the genuine idea's laid down for nation speaking unto nation and fail.
The young lady that so kindly drew my attention to the chef decides to translate, judenmeetonkrouts?
She's Polish and only been here three days!
Turns out both were asking, do you want to eat in or out?
I'm getting just a little tired, just give me my order I scream, I'll wimper at home!
My order arrives I dash for home,
Open up a chicken kibab, no salad, with extra portion of mint sauce,

Yep, everything is normal.

Yet another happy customer Less

[Less]

Oh dear, why quote that load of garbage? You're only the second post, I'd have worked out your post.
Still thank's for answering.

[MargaretR]

Perhaps Jaysay can train you to order kebabs, because that laptop he got on ebay has a chinese keyboard and he uses a translate function on his posts.

[jaysay]

Originally Posted by MargaretR

Perhaps Jaysay can train you to order kebabs, because that laptop he got on ebay has a chinese keyboard and he uses a translate function on his posts.

No Margaret sorry it vietnamese not Chinese, didn't get it on ebay, don't use it never been anywhere near it

[Less]

Originally Posted by jaysay

No Margaret sorry it vietnamese not Chinese, didn't get it on ebay, don't use it never been anywhere near it

Nope wrong again, whatever language you set your keyboard to it defaults to gobbledegook.

I've looked for it on google maps but it seems their sat nav pics come back blurred whenever they dodge around that area.

[Mancie]

Is this a review of a new fast food outlet in Accy or are you in training for the moaning and groaning Olympics you would win gold hands down.?

[Less]

Originally Posted by Mancie

Is this a review of a new fast food outlet in Accy or are you in training for the moaning and groaning Olympics you would win gold hands down.?

As usual it's a pleasure to have you come into anything goes with your total lack of humour but a willingness to make a pratt of yourself.
Still can't afford to join one of those posh southern websites then can you arsehole?

[Mancie]

Originally Posted by Less

As usual it's a pleasure to have you come into anything goes with your total lack of humour but a willingness to make a pratt of yourself.
Still can't afford to join one of those posh southern websites then can you arsehole?

.. and there was me thinking I should edit my post with a smiley...maybe the "new" Polish or whatever takeaway you managed to drag your pathetic areshole to will put up a plaque..

[mobertol]

Have arrived back in "Italia" after several weeks away and still can't get my head around the number of take-aways there are in Accy -do people no longer know how to cook over there I ask myself?

During the last week my friend and her husband were back at work -I was acting part-time au-pair as well as doing my own thing but was never trusted to cook the evening meal after making a rather nice (though I say it myself) authentic mushroom risotto early on during my stay. Seems that if I don't jazz-up my cooking "Brit-style" with tons of excessive fried onion, chorizo, chili oil, peri-peri sauce or whatever, "you-name -it" and chuck it in, my cooking is not appreciated. So a string of take-aways it had to be, until Friday evening when my friends hubby, Dave, made one of his famous chilies and attempted to kill me -seems my body does not tolerate red kidney beans -had never had them before and never will again after throwing up the poisonous blighters all night!
Never mind, the remedy to all ailments the next evening, after my being so ill and not eating all day, was a Chinese take-away -Barb-q spare-ribs in some evil red sticky sauce, fried rice, chips (just in case I didn't fancy the chinese), prawn crackers with sweet chili sauce, chicken satay with green peppers, and the only thing I ate (which I ordered myself ) was crispy duck on it's own!
It was so nice to treat my still pained stomach to some fresh tomatoes and mozzarella this evening...perhaps next time I'm over I'll go for the kebabs, Less!

[susie123]

Originally Posted by mobertol

Have arrived back in "Italia" after several weeks away and still can't get my head around the number of take-aways there are in Accy -do people no longer know how to cook over there I ask myself?

It was so nice to treat my still pained stomach to some fresh tomatoes and mozzarella this evening...perhaps next time I'm over I'll go for the kebabs, Less!

Well someone must be buying all the fresh meat from the butchers in the Market Hall - Accy is lucky to still have those...

As for the kidney beans - I thought beans were something of a staple of Italian cooking - and red beans aren't that different from cannellini or borlotti - or haven't you eaten those before either?

Where do your tomatoes come from in Italy at this time of year - surely even there they're not grown outside at this time of year?

The mushroom risotto sounds nice... sadly not allowed mushrooms any more. They are not digested very well and can come out as they went in which means they can bung up the hole in my colostomy - sweetcorn and nuts are banned too but I don't mind too much about that. When I grew all our own veg I used to make a lovely pumpkin risotto... food for the gods!

[Royboy39]

Originally Posted by Mancie

.. and there was me thinking I should edit my post with a smiley...maybe the "new" Polish or whatever takeaway you managed to drag your pathetic areshole to will put up a plaque..

Sideways.

[mobertol]

Originally Posted by susie123

As for the kidney beans - I thought beans were something of a staple of Italian cooking - and red beans aren't that different from cannellini or borlotti - or haven't you eaten those before either?

Where do your tomatoes come from in Italy at this time of year - surely even there they're not grown outside at this time of year?

Red Kidney Bean Poisoning is an illness caused by a toxic agent, Phytohaemagglutnin (Kidney Bean Lectin). This toxic agent is found in many species of beans, but it is in highest concentration in red kidney beans (Phaseolus vulgaris).
As few as 4 or 5 beans can bring on symptoms. Onset of symptoms varies from between 1 to 3 hours. Onset is usually marked by extreme nausea, followed by vomiting, which may be very severe, some persons report abdominal pain. Some persons have been hospitalized, but recovery is usually rapid (3 - 4 h after onset of symptoms) and spontaneous.

You have to be very careful how you cook dried red kidney beans -in a way it's my own fault as I'm supposed to avoid all legumes as it can trigger off IBS which I have bouts of occasionally (also shouldn't eat mushrooms, like you, any brassicas or leafy things like spinach -I love them so only have tiny amounts from time to time, but spinach i can't touch as it makes me really ill...)
It's hard when you're staying with other people as they have their own way of doing things -home now anyway -still have abdominal pain from the beans but it's passing off and am feeling better now i'm back to cooking for myself. Diet as from today, back to healthy soups, absolutely no cheese or wine and tea without sugar -the hardest thing to do without for me! Put half a stone on in the UK with all the scones, cakes and take-aways!

As to tomatoes, we have them from Sardinia, grown in hot-houses available from March -they are great. In the summer they grow behind my house like weeds and have fantastic flavour...all they need is sunshine

[susie123]

Originally Posted by mobertol

Red Kidney Bean Poisoning is an illness caused by a toxic agent, Phytohaemagglutnin (Kidney Bean Lectin). This toxic agent is found in many species of beans, but it is in highest concentration in red kidney beans (Phaseolus vulgaris).
As few as 4 or 5 beans can bring on symptoms. Onset of symptoms varies from between 1 to 3 hours. Onset is usually marked by extreme nausea, followed by vomiting, which may be very severe, some persons report abdominal pain. Some persons have been hospitalized, but recovery is usually rapid (3 - 4 h after onset of symptoms) and spontaneous.

You have to be very careful how you cook dried red kidney beans -in a way it's my own fault as I'm supposed to avoid all legumes as it can trigger off IBS which I have bouts of occasionally (also shouldn't eat mushrooms, like you, any brassicas or leafy things like spinach -I love them so only have tiny amounts from time to time, but spinach i can't touch as it makes me really ill...)
It's hard when you're staying with other people as they have their own way of doing things -home now anyway -still have abdominal pain from the beans but it's passing off and am feeling better now i'm back to cooking for myself. Diet as from today, back to healthy soups, absolutely no cheese or wine and tea without sugar -the hardest thing to do without for me! Put half a stone on in the UK with all the scones, cakes and take-aways!

As to tomatoes, we have them from Sardinia, grown in hot-houses available from March -they are great. In the summer they grow behind my house like weeds and have fantastic flavour...all they need is sunshine

I didn't mention the careful cooking as I assumed if they had been undercooked then your friend and hubby might have suffered too... also I though they might have been out of a tin.

We've had quite a few takeaways and ready meals while I've been ill - they are usually either hopelessly bland or overspiced with the ubiquitous chilli - to cover up the blandness!

Glad you're feeling better and you can send me some of that half a stone - had antibiotics two weeks ago, made me nauseous and unable to eat much so I missed my target with my dietitian.

At least you're back in the land of healthy eating - perhaps you should send your friend an Italian cookbook? Those tomatoes sound yummy - I remember when we were in Italy in 2009 they were all over the fields - presumably the ones they didn't pick up after harvesting - or waiting to go into a tin of Sainsbury's basic tinned plum tomatoes?

[mobertol]

Wouldn't want to put you off the tinned tomatoes Sue but those cultivated in fields are picked while still green basically as they are harvested by machine and can't be naturally ripe. They are sprayed a day before with chemicals to make them turn red and they are still hard as bullets so the machine doesn't squash them which is what would happen if they were ripened in the sun.This way also they can be harvested without the risk of any rotting from the first to the last field.
The machine has a sort of electronic eye which refuses any tomatoes which are not red enough!
Back to the take-aways ...I was also surprised at how many supermarket home-brand ready meals are available -M&S was packed with people buying them -I suppose they are an easy option for those living alone or working odd hours...