Euro Language

Caz · 22-08-2003, 01:02

I think that you will be interested to learn that the European Union Commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short)

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will reseive this news with joy, and keyboards could have one less letter.

Also the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but keyboards kan loose a further letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replased by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 persent shorter. In the thrid year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always been a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"'s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from words kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

Jo · 22-08-2003, 13:14

So at the end of the day, English will end up sounding like blooming German anyway, so why don't they just adopt German??  :

Caz · 22-08-2003, 13:17

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

adi · 22-08-2003, 13:38

cheers for that!!
;D ;D ;D

Royboy · 27-08-2003, 14:17

Love it!  ;D ;D ;D

Mik Dickinson · 22-09-2003, 19:25

Would be a real nightmare for me Cazzer.Its took me 21 years to master their bloody language as it is.Anyway you are closer to the truth with them pronunciations than you think.
Zo i vil b vaiting for ze result Volerhamptom Vanderers aginst Vimbledon vas vun vun

janet · 23-09-2003, 08:17

what about bringing esperanto back can anyone speak that language.

Jo · 23-09-2003, 09:41

Or what about Latin??

Mik Dickinson · 23-09-2003, 09:46

Never heard of that one Janet? No Jo no latin purlease.Have enough wi German and English.That should be enough.Or are we talking about Pig Latin cause i have never talked to pigs

Sorry about that that one

Tealeaf · 23-09-2003, 10:11

The World Language is English. All it needs is for the Eurothrash to learn it.

Jo · 23-09-2003, 11:18

The most widely spoken language in the world is Mandarin (Chinese), followed closely by Spanish. Not sure, but think English is about the 4th or 5th - so we're not quite "the world language" yet Tealeaf! Maybe Eurothrash speak perfect Mandarin and Spanish, just haven't got round to English yet as it's not their priority.... who knows!!!!!  

Mik Dickinson · 23-09-2003, 15:11

love mandarines but never tried talking to one Jo  :-*

Jo · 24-09-2003, 06:53

Know what you mean. Oranges are much more interesting to talk too, but remember, oranges are not the only fruit!

Tealeaf · 24-09-2003, 09:30

Jo,
When I mean world language I mean a language which is understood by more people than anyone else. OK, More may speak as a first language, Cantonese, Mandarin, Spanish, Arabic, Gujerati or whatever other mumbo-jumbo you care to name, but English is their second language of choice and is the language of international communications. There are'nt many people in Accy learning Cantonese - I'm fairly certain of that - but I bet there's quite a few Chinks in Canton province learning English, albeit without an Accy accent.

How's the rabbit by the way?

Jo · 24-09-2003, 12:11

Rabbit's fine thanks! He had 4 pieces of my banana this morning
Knew what you meant about English, just being provocative!!  ;D
the frogs are really mad that English is the international language of communication - they wanted it to be French!
Only problem for us with this is that the English get lazy and don't learn other languages, and that's really dangerous. If everyone can understand you and you cannot understand them, you are always in a weaker position. For this reason I am about to start learning Arabic, if ever they did attack us or try to take us over, at least I'd be able to spy on what they're saying.  