Excuse me, I'm reading a book!

Less · 14-11-2006, 19:35

Now I like books, quite often when I'm out of an afternoon there will be a book, I never know which book, but there will be, 'a book', in my pocket just in case when I get to where I'm going if whoever I might be meeting is late or can't turn up I have something I can turn my mind to other than just staring at the, "we can put you in even more debt", adverts and the even less interesting programmes that are in between them.

Today I was grateful for having a book, the person I was to meet was unable to get there because of pressure of work, but it didn't matter although surrounded by strangers I had a book to read and the ale was tasty.

So there I was reading, a retired couple came and sat next to me, "what you reading mate?" the man asked and no I didn't just say, "a book", I showed him the cover the title, A time to die,
"Ooh, I couldn't read a book like that why are you reading such a miserable book?", he asked.

"Oh, have you read the book?" I asked.
"No", he replied, "but I couldn't read a book like that such a miserable title!".

I knew I wasn't going to get back to reading the book until he had given me his opinion, so I took a very deep breath then asked, "and what do you suppose the book is about?"

"Well", he said it's obvious, "it's one of those self help, commit suicide sort of books". (I made a mental note to try and smile in future while reading a book I know I'm a miserable sod but surely not that bad?).

I told him that he was completely wrong, I agreed that it wasn't a happy book it was a factual book about the sinking and the heroic efforts that went into an attempted rescue of the Russian submarine crew of 'The Kursk', the pride of the Russian Navy that sank a few years ago.

"Huh, foreigners eh? bet if our lads had 'owt to do with it they'd have got the lot up with no injury", was his reply.

"Well actually there was a combined effort of the Russian, Norwegian and British navies trying to save the crew, unfortunatley all hands were lost", I said with sinking heart knowing what was coming next.

"They should have left it to us, we know what we are doing, our lot would have saved them", he answered with patriotic fervour.

It was at this point I gathered together what little patience I had remaining thanked him for his enlightening conversation and ran out of the pub.

I then walked fifty yards to another pub, bought myself another pint sat down in a quiet corner and started to read my book, within a minute a half starved lady of about 60 came into the room sat next to me and said, "What you reading mate?"

"Excuse me", I said but I'm reading a book, she stood up made a face, and said, "yeah I can see your reading a book, but I noticed the title, A Time To Die', I thought you were one of them loonies thats thinking of topping yourself, so I thought I'd give you some counselling".

"Thank you for your concern", I replied, "but until I met your brother in the other pub and having met you now, that thought hadn't crossed my mind but now I'm not so sure".

I might stop reading books in public, they are bad for the image.