Fat Chicks and Other Foolishness ...

[Eric]

Ok, we all know the world is going more than a little crazy ... but as I sit here waiting for our first winter storm, all prepared with booze, food, and dope ... and my new snow shovel ... I scanned the news ... and came up with these:

Morning-after pill maker warns of weight limit - Health - CBC News

Doctors encourage 'fist bump' over handshake to prevent illness - Your Community

Tired? Troubled love life? Try banning the gadgets from the bedroom | Amy Fleming | Comment is free | theguardian.com


The first one I found funny for various very politically incorrect reasons ... now, fat chicks don't get laid all that much; so, I didn't at first see much of a problem. But on further thought ... I know, my life must be empty if I give things like this "further thought" ... it occured to me that given the chance of a roll in the hay, a ... let's say ... big-boned lady might just not give all that much thought to protection .... I think I'll leave this to someone else to expand on ... Help me Obi Less ... puns welcome.

And the fist bump thing Time for full-body condoms and surgical masks How about french kissing, and all the other spit swapping and tonguing folks get into after being introduced and exchanging a sterile fist bump.

And the third ... is this news? Does one need "research" to figure this one out. Great way of having group sex ... you can get it on with your partner while sexting someone else

[Less]

Nowt wrong with a fat women, just plug your nostrils with a couple of ciggy filters, ( they tend to sweat when excited and can't always afford too much deodorant, (money spent on chocolate)), then, move them slowly at first, get the rhythm going and hey presto, like a 70's waterbed you can't stop them!

[Eric]

Originally Posted by Less

Nowt wrong with a fat women, just plug your nostrils with a couple of ciggy filters, ( they tend to sweat when excited and can't always afford too much deodorant, (money spent on chocolate)), then, move them slowly at first, get the rhythm going and hey presto, like a 70's waterbed you can't stop them!

Words of wisdom indeed ... you are always to be relied on ... I'll try to keep this in mind next time I'm out drinking ... I'll write the instructions on my beer goggles.

[Less]

Originally Posted by Eric

Words of wisdom indeed ... you are always to be relied on ... I'll try to keep this in mind next time I'm out drinking ... I'll write the instructions on my beer goggles.

Oh, please, don't take it that I approve of sex with anyone that is fat, I have tried it, it was awful, you must always avoid any form of contact with them, they always leave you with far more grease than the effort of having sex deserves.

My Black silk Duvet cover is ruined, even the dry cleaner refused to attempt to clean it. (He really is a dry cleaner, his sarcasm puts me to shame).

[DaveinGermany]

You should be grateful for fat lasses, they're usually about & single at the end of the night, much like us drunken blokes! Ideal for a case of shared solace (beer befuddled fumble).

[Eric]

Originally Posted by Less

Oh, please, don't take it that I approve of sex with anyone that is fat, I have tried it, it was awful, you must always avoid any form of contact with them, they always leave you with far more grease than the effort of having sex deserves.

My Black silk Duvet cover is ruined, even the dry cleaner refused to attempt to clean it. (He really is a dry cleaner, his sarcasm puts me to shame).

I can honestly say, as GOD is my witness, I have never, ever slept with a fat chick ... never ... in my whole life .... not once.

However ... for some reason, possibly connected to nanotechnology or the Higgs Boson ... I woke woke up with more than a few.

I suppose anyone into mirrors on the ceiling (and pink champagne on ice) could use one of those distorting mirrors which make fat people look skinny.

[Less]

Originally Posted by Eric

I can honestly say, as GOD is my witness, I have never, ever slept with a fat chick ... never ... in my whole life .... not once.

However ... for some reason, possibly connected to nanotechnology or the Higgs Boson ... I woke woke up with more than a few.

I suppose anyone into mirrors on the ceiling (and pink champagne on ice) could use one of those distorting mirrors which make fat people look skinny.

Well, what a coincidence, I can swear by the same GOD, I've never slept with a lard arse, I have spent several sleepless hours however, thinking, after the deed, 'WAS I REALLY THAT ****ED'?

[MargaretR]

Some men prefer BIG women = 'chubby chasers'
Chubby Chaser Documentary Film - Loving Large

[DtheP47]

Holidaying here in the home of the brave where there more than enough "buffalos" to sink a ship.
I am minded of Wandering Walters old saying " Tha'd eff to roll her in flour to find t'wet bits"

[Less]

Let's use this as a thread of confession?

I have to admit, I have tried to put it behind me, but this brings back the memories in such a shocking way!

There I was an 18 year old lean machine, My brother met this fantastic, body wise and responsive lass, he was willing for it, she was dying for it, the problem was the lump of lard called her friend.

She wouldn't leave them to get on with it, she was always following them to her mates flat complaining about how she didn't have a bloke.

One night, I'm out with them, flabby decides she likes me, well, lets be honest, I didn't like her.

Brotherly love, can you beat it?

Our kid, explained how they couldn't get together because of the blimp.

My brother offers me a tenner to distract old fatty.

A tenner back then? half a wage!

I tried my best to keep her entertained during the evening then went back to her flat.

Like her, it stank, let's be honest, I'd never taken on the role of Gigolo before now and once I felt the promised land she was offering me, I decided it was a career I didn't need.

I wasn't as honest back then, I spent an hour or so trying to be polite and not call her a skank.

I went home, with my gut churning, 15 minutes later my bruv, arrived home, he was busy with the good looking one when a knock, well, a hammering came on the door, fat bitch needed to tell her bestest friend what a swine I was.

Darling brother didn't give me the tenner, so I think that still leaves me pure.

I think, I had a lucky escape, morals, I'm glad they were there to sell, but hey, not at that price.

[susie123]

Originally Posted by DaveinGermany

You should be grateful for fat lasses, they're usually about & single at the end of the night, much like us drunken blokes! Ideal for a case of shared solace (beer befuddled fumble).

Well they don't always go for fat women at the end of the night in this situation. I know, I've been there...

[DtheP47]

Originally Posted by Less

Let's use this as a thread of confession?

Hen's teeth Less look what you have gone and done now....
Reports are reaching me.....
K99 is bashing together a Confessional Box together down at the Asda from old packing cases for all you sinners.

Somethings are best consigned to that dustbin of the mind called longterm memory

[DaveinGermany]

Originally Posted by susie123

Well they don't always go for fat women at the end of the night in this situation. I know, I've been there...

What? Roaring drunk & desperate to bag a fatty? Oh how the mind boggles.

[Less]

Originally Posted by DtheP47

Hen's teeth Less look what you have gone and done now....
Reports are reaching me.....
K99 is bashing together a Confessional Box together down at the Asda from old packing cases for all you sinners.

Somethings are best consigned to that dustbin of the mind called longterm memory

If I could be bothered to Google, I'm sure I could find Chapter & Verse to contradict you.

[susie123]

Originally Posted by DaveinGermany

What? Roaring drunk & desperate to bag a fatty? Oh how the mind boggles.

I knew someone would get hold of the wrong end of the stick. Definitely drunk but I like my men on the slim side - not anorexic but not porky... those who were in that condition 40 or so years ago will be a bit more portly now - I know Richard is...

The beard is similar - not too bushy or skimpy - he scores on those criteria...