Female World Records

[mthead]

I recently came across this useless bit of info and found it quite funny Lets see what the rest of you think
Female Guinness Book of Records

Car Parking
The smallest kerbside space successfully reversed into by a woman was one of 19.36m (63ft 2ins), equivalent to three standard parking spaces, by Mrs Elizabeth Simpkins, driving an un-modified Vauxhall Nova 'Swing' on 12th October 1993. She started the manouvre at 11.15am in Ropergate, Pontefract, and successfully parked within 3ft of the pavement 8 hours 14 minutes later. There was slight damage to the two bumpers and wings of her own and two adjoining cars, as well as a shop frontage and two lamp posts.

Film Confusion
The greatest length of time a woman has watched a film with her husband without asking a stupid plot-related question was achieved on the 28th of October 1990, when Mrs. Ethel Brunswick sat down with her husband to watch the 'Ipcress File'. She watched in silence for a breath-taking 3 minutes 10 seconds before asking "Is he a goodie or a baddie then, him in the glasses?", revealing a staggering level of ignorance. This broke her own record set in 1962 when she sat through 2 minutes 38 seconds of '633 Squadron' before asking "Is this a war film, is it?".

Incorrect Driving
The longest journey completed with the handbrake on was one of 504 km (313 miles) from Stranraer to Holyhead by Dr. Julie Thorn (GB) at the wheel of a Saab 900 on 2nd April 1987. Dr Thorn smelled burning two miles into her journey at Aird but pressed on to Holyhead with smoke billowing from the rear wheels. This journey also holds the record for the longest completed journey with the choke fully out and the right indicator flashing.

Shop Dithering
The longest time spent dithering in a shop was 12 days between 21st August and 2nd September 1995 by Mrs Sandra Wilks (GB) in the Birmingham branch of Dorothy Perkins. Entering the shop on a Saturday morning, Mrs. Wilks could not choose between two near identical dresses which were both in the sale. After an hour, her husband, sitting on a chair by the changing room with his head in his hands, told her to buy both. Mrs. Wilks eventually bought one for 12.99, only to return the next day and exchange it for the other one. To date, she has yet to wear it. Mrs Wilks also holds the record for window shopping longevity, when, starting September 12th 1995, she stood motionless gazing at a pair of shoes in Clinkard's window in Kidderminster for 3 weeks two days before eventually going home.

Jumble Sale Massacre
The greatest number of old ladies to perish whilst fighting at a jumble sale is 98, at a Methodist Church Hall in Castleford, West Yorkshire on February 12th 1991. When the doors opened at 10.00am, the initial; scramble to get in cost 16 lives, a further 25 being killed in a crush at the first table. A seven-way skirmish then broke out over a pinafore dress costing 10p which escalated into a full-scale melee resulting in another 18 lives being lost. A pitched battle ensued and quickly spread throughout the hall, claiming 39 old woman. The jumble sale raised £5.28 for the local boy scouts.

Talking About Nothing
Mrs Katherine Russell and Miss Melanie Lowell sat in a kitchen in Bannockburn, Stirling and talked about nothing whatsoever for four and a half months from 1st of May to 7th August 1998, pausing only for coffee, cakes and toilet visits. Throughout the whole time, no information was exchanged and neither woman gained any new knowledge whatsoever. The outdoor record for talking about nothing is held by Mrs. Vera Etherington (GB) and her neighbour Mrs Dolly Booth (GB) of Ipswich, who between 11th November 1983 and 12th January 1984 chuntered on over their fence in an unenlightening dialogue lasting almost 62 days until Mrs. Booth remembered she'd left the bath running.

Gossiping
On February 18th 1992, Joyce Blatherwick, a close friend of Agnes Banbury popped round for a cup of tea and a chat, during the course of which she told Mrs Banbury, in the strictest confidence, that she was having an affair with the butcher. After Mrs Blatherwick left at 2.10pm, Mrs. Banbury immediately began to tell everyone, swearing them all to secrecy. By 2.30pm, she had told 128 people of the news. By 2.50pm it had risen to 372 and by 4.00pm that afternoon, 2774 knew of the affair, including the local amateur dramatic society, several knitting circles, a coachload of American tourists which she flagged down and the butchers wife. When a tired Mrs Banbury went to bed at 11.55pm that night, Mrs Blatherwick's affair was common knowledge to a staggering 75,338 people, enough to fill Wembley Stadium.

Group Toilet Visit
The record for the largest group of women to visit a toilet simultaneously is held by 147 workers at the Department of Social Security, Longbenton. At their annual Christmas celebration at a night club in Newcastle-Upon-Tyne on October 12th, 1994. Mrs Beryl Crabtree got up to go the toilet and was immediately followed by 146 other members of the party. Moving as a mass, the group entered the toilet at 9.52pm and, after waiting for everyone to finish, emerged 2 hours 37 minutes later.

Single Breath Sentence
An Oxfordshire woman today became the first ever to break the thirty minute barrier for talking without drawing breath. Mrs. Mavis Sommers, 48, of Cowley, smashed the previous record of 23 minutes when she excitedly reported an argument she'd had in the butchers to her neighbour. She ranted on for a staggering 32 minutes and 12 seconds without pausing for air, before going blue and collapsing in a heap on the ground. She was taken to Radcliffe Infirmary in a wheelbarrow but was released later after check-ups. At the peak of her mammoth motor-mouth marathon, she achieved an unbelievable 680 words per minute, repeating the main points of the story an amazing 114 times whilst her neighbour, Mrs Dolly Knowles, nodded and tutted. The last third of the sentence was delivered in a barely audible croak, the last two minutes being mouthed only, accompanied by vigorous gesticulations and indignant spasms.

[flashy]

well what can i say? we dont do things by half

[slinky]

LMAO!!! I like that one.

Not saying it's true - you hear